singlemomz website

[tryingtohelp]

is it me or do the moderators on the singlemomz website seem extremely territorial?

nothing has happened to me personally but I've seen some wicked threads.

[oneandonly]

Ya think???
PO3 (think thats the posting name) and heretohelp used to be here, eons ago.(moderators there, I think)
Now they both just lurk, copy things from here and give out extremely horrible advice there.
But whatya gonna do?
Try posting/reading some of the threads there about breastfeeding and visitation.....oy....
entertainment though, I guess.
*funny thing--my husbands ex has posted there (CollegeGurl)--complaining about me of course...ah, if only Pinochio's story were true--she'd fall over from caring such a giagantic nose-lol*

[wendl]

Trying--yea its sad huh, they don't have anything better to do, hell I am a cp and a stepmom but I am nothing like some of them especially one in paticular but wont stoop to her level.

One,
Kiddosmom said you were looking for me, send me a private message on here, I have been busy with sons baseball and all.

I would love to talk to you though, actually I really want to talk to you abotu something.

Wendl

[nosonew]

I think PO3 has a major attitude problem, I see hardly any problems with HTH, however, I did notice they posted (PO3 did) the LIST.  Interesting.  

Keep in mind, some of these women are dealing with some pretty crazy ex's-just like here, only the opposite sex!

[tryingtohelp]

"Keep in mind, some of these women are dealing with some pretty crazy ex's-just like here, only the opposite sex!"

Yes - which is exactly why they shouldn't view this site as an 'enemy' site.  These moderators should be mature enough to recognize the big picture of the damage divorce can do to both men and women.

A few of the moderators come off as angry scorned
women....entertainment at best - I suppose.  Hopefully people (men & women) who need real help and solid advice will find this site before theirs.  Although this site is male oriented, it doesn't discriminate the way theirs does.  There are plenty of women here who ask for advice and are welcomed whole-heartedly.

[Peanutsdad]

Typically, I do NOT post about sites,, but this time I will.


I post both here and at singlemomz. Yes they know I am a cp dad,, that started out as a ncp dad.


To be quite frank about it, lately I have been getting treated with hostility by angry bitter members in SPARC's chat,, simply because,, I am now a cp.

I have never been treated with anything but respect at singlemomz.


As a result, I dont go into sparc's chat anymore. I absolutely will not go into any chat room and have to defend my self, my actions or my case from anyone insinuating I am lying about it.



I DO however continue to post here in the forums with the hopes that the pster will find the information or help they are asking for.

[Stepmom0418]

My DH is ncp at this point in time, but is in hopes that this will change soon! I do not know why people here would treat you that way! We all have the same thing in mind and that is what is BEST for the children!! You just raise them kids, and dont let anyone putting you down for doing the best for your kids, bother you in anyway!! I am a mother of 4 and a stepmother to 1. My ex didnt used to see his kids much but I forced him to see them because I felt as I still do that a father is very important!!! I hope that when my DH is a CP that we dont get the treatment you have spoke of!! Good Luck to you and the kids!!!

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, trust me steppy,, I dont let it bother me. I just wont waste my time in a chatroom where I have to deal with angry bitter people.


MOST of the folks I associate with here on sparc via msn are wonderful people,, caring parents/steps. It's that coupla bad apples that I wont deal with.

[joni]

I had the same experience in the chat at SPARC.  I'm either ignored or feel as though I'm imposing on exclusive club.  I've been a member here for over 3 years.  I don't go in the chatroom anymore.

[SallyandJack]

sh-t

i can't even get into the chatroom.

[Peanutsdad]

You turn off your firewall and popup blocker?  those are the most common problems to getting into it.

[mandi]

Oh no hun, it is not just you.  And it is not just the moderators.  I asked a question and expressed an opinion on one of the post and boy, did i get a rude reply.  And I said in my thread that I was not trying to disrespect or upset anyone.  But it just seem some of those people have been really dealt a good one, if you know what i mean.

*~Mandi~*

[kiddosmom]

OK, I have said nothing so far.
As many probably know, I post both sites, and another for steps.
This site is mainly geared for the men who have crappy ex-wifes, but do not turn away good moms looking for help. They are wary of being treated with direspect.
SingleMomz is mainly geared for wemon who have crappy ex husbands, but do not turn good dads away looking for help. They are wary of being treated with disrespect.

Both sites are alike, I have seen both attack when they are being treated wrongly. I honestly think both should share resourses.

-----I asked a question and expressed an opinion on one of the post and boy, did i get a rude reply.-----

The same will happen here as seen several times.

[Childrenfirst]

Joni

I have been a moderator of the chat room for 5 years. I do not remember a joni coming in but there is no elite group in there. Sometimes some of us have been there so long that we have formed a bond and we do talk back and forth among ourselves and joke.

I do not feel we ever ignore a newcomer who seeks help. Did you post questions an were ignored? Sometimes we kid back and forth among ourselves and you just have to pop in and interupt us. I am so sorry if you feel you were not accepted.

I will make sure when you come in that you are not ignored. We are not and exclusive group.....we are friends who have a common bond and welcome all newcomers who want to help fight the fight or need help.

Let me know what I can do to help.

[Childrenfirst]

Most of the time it is the pop up stopper that interferes in getting into chat ..make sure that is off and try again. We love newcomers and are nothing like the singlezmoms site!

[Childrenfirst]

PD...
You have been in chat for along time and treated like family. There is really only one poster that has challenged you. If you wish to stay away, then that is your choice but you must also count all of us who have supported you in all of this. Start counting on your fingers those who have given you problems and those who have not. I have found those I have conflict with....I ignore in chat......

We will miss you, but you do what you feel you must do.

[SallyandJack]

what are the sites for stepmoms?....i like this site but i could use a good stepmom site.

thanks!

[nosonew]

Some suggest lifeinablender.com, but I don't go there, too many bm's, I suggest you try secondwivescafe.com, you have to apply first before admittance, but I just love it!  It is also pretty safe, as you can list the bm as someone to DO NOT ADMIT.  You will love it!

[wendl]

:)

[SallyandJack]

notsonew

thanks again!  i just signed up for both.  but what's up with the 3 replies in lifeinalender?  isn't there an easier way to just get on?  my goodness.

[MYSONSDAD]

I also find it interesting their need to come here to copy articles, change the wording for their use, but they have copy rights at their site. That should say it all.

I found they were pretty quick on giving advice on how to daddy away from the kids.

Also got a tickle looking at their pictures....

[nosonew]

Yep, that's pretty silly isn't it?  pm me your name on there, I will do the same!

[kiddosmom]

PM sent!

[katz]

I also go to //www.steptogether.org  I love that site, for the step mother in me... It even has a crossfire section for those heated debates, so the whole board doesnt get bungled up...

[Peanutsdad]

CF,

I dont judge the whole for the actions of a few.  As you know, I have been back in sparc chat,, and I place certian folks on ignore.


What I would ask,, why does anyone here feel the need to go to another website for the express purpose of bashing that site here?

I have gotten to know many of the people on other sites,, and how about this: they are concerned for the welfare of their child/ren.  Go figure. I dont respond to ANYONE on ANY site who has the express purpose of denying a child their parent. I DO however respond to many parents who are attempting to ensure their childrens safety. Here and on other sites.

I see posts here every day that advocate restricted access to abusers. Why would anyone here criticize others for advocating the same? What? Just because in any particular case it happens to be a father? Come on,, dont hand me hypocritical views. ( this isnt for you CF, this is for the other posters here who feel the need to criticize based on gender).


I would think there is more than enough to do simply trying to help kids, rather than spending time with moronic site bashing.

[sweetnsad]

I have to agree with you 100% PD on this one....I took the liberty of visiting Singlemomz....I see nothing wrong with what they are doing....they are simply there for those that need it (mostly single mothers, but also, single fathers)....they are tough with their boards, but I feel that can be necessary seeing as they don't want alot of bashing and fighting among the posters.  There isn't any need of it when you think that there are so many people that genuinely need advice and help....it doesn't matter where they are trying to get it from.  

Now don't get me wrong...there are PLENTY of people out there that get a great kick out of causing a ruckus and being generally abusive (depending on their situation and the severity of it)....but, not everyone is like this.  I don't like to see "bashing" among site members....it demeans the reasons why we are here in the first place.

[catholicmom]

I thought I'd jump in here and opine... :)

I found this site by doing a search for "fathers' rights" + "child support" + forum. I was, frankly, looking for a website where I could learn how the "enemy" thinks, as I am possibly about to wrangle with a hostile ex who may be antagonistic and difficult, etc.

Well, I found that this site isn't about "the enemy" at all - you're basically a bunch of concerned and loving parents! I do think there are some misogynists here, and they're not that hard to spot. However, there's a lot more than just a bunch of whiners who are angry at having to pay child support. I think I may actually get good, useful information and support - rather than just more gender-biased nonsense.

And, the few misogynists/whiners are good, too, because they give me fair warning of what to expect if things get ugly!


xoxoKaty

[Kitty C.]

Only a woman can truly know how another woman might think.  I've been on this site for 6-7 years, almost since inception, and the one thing I found out very quickly is how much I despise many of my own gender.  This site was created because many GOOD fathers were being denyed access and rights to their children.  Many of the horror stories here will curl your toes.  And give you a new perspective on just how nasty and ugly many mothers can be.  I am not a misogynist, but rather go with the premise that there are good and bad people in every aspect of society.  Unfortunately, women take the lion's share when it comes to child custody and support, and for too many years, the courts have supported that.  We're here for the children, to give them back BOVH parents.

My 15 y.o. son lost his father 2 years ago to cancer.  Before that, he would spend ALL of every summer with his dad and EO Christmas.  We were 1800 miles apart.  Now he is struggling hard with many issues and if you point back, it's obvious that the majority of the problems stem from NOT having a consistent, positive male role model in his life.  I now have him in therapy, have him on a waiting list for Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and hope to send him to a wilderness therapy camp next summer.  My son could be a poster boy of how important a father is in a child's life.

[wendl]

and if you post your opinion you will more than likely be banned, I know I was, I am a cp as well as a stepmom to a ncp man. I raised my son alone for 8yrs until I met my dh.

Some are really nice others aren't.

I would rather be here were it is focused on both parents being involved, sometimes it may seem different, but many here are being denied there children etc.