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The new me, like it or F'ing not

Started by Nugo, Aug 16, 2004, 01:40:21 AM

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Nugo

Some of you may have read my last exchange with Soc.  I'm no longer asking him or anybody else for help or advice.

I don't know exactly how I got from where I was to where I am.  Oddly, I feel like I'm finally standing on a solid launch pad to make something good happen in my life career-wise, and of course that trickles down to everything else in your life.

But now I'm rigid--not afraid of anybody.  I think most of it happened on my final divorce day hearing last July.  I can sit in a courtroom all day and hear people sling sh*( about me (and mostly lies, some true) and not even blink.  When my own witnesses painted me golden, I took no particular pride in it.

This whole defense-mechanism thing is a "whatever" thing to me.  I watched a court take my daughter from me and then come after me when I wasn't quick enough on the CS payments.  I labored for months and months on the appeal that the supreme court three-justice panel wisked off of their desk like it was just bothersome.  I don't believe that I'm tough because of that.  I believe that those events showed me that I was tougher than I ever wanted to be.  It isn't natural.

And there's something I've known all my life, to a degree anyway, that I've been able to fully focus on recently.

I have a problem with authority.

It isn't a blind, non-discriminatory problem.  I remember recently watching "The Matrix," again and seeing the boss ask "Neo," something like, "You have a problem with aurthority, don't you Mr. Anderson?  You believe that somehow you're special...that somehow, the rules don't apply to you."

I know the rules apply to me.  And my problem isn't with authority in general, it's with the abuse of authority.  It enrages me; always has.  And when I know that somebody in a position of authority has used their power for other-than-pure reasons because:
1.  they were influenced by somebody else in power, or
2.  they disregard the rules that they are vowed to follow simply because they can, or
3.  they have some other axe to grind...
then I'm apesh(*.

So I won't be nodding with Yes Ma'ams and No Sirs anymore.  My basic greeting to anybody I don't know and most people I do know will be a middle finger, symbolic or otherwise.  From there, they can earn my respect.  And if they don't, they can kiss my hairy *#*.

Everybody F off.


Peanutsdad

Damn boy,, yer slow.


I figured you would get to this stage last year ;)

Nugo

>Damn boy,, yer slow.
>
>
>I figured you would get to this stage last year ;)

:D  I should have; I was so naive; first mistake was believing that people were basically good.  Did you notice that Soc took our "banter" off his board?  I don't blame him.

Peanutsdad

No, but then, I domt much pay attention to banter.

Hell Nugo,, this too shall pass. btdt.

Brent

Hang in there, Nugo!

Sometimes this stuff overwhelms us, but persevere, never give up, and keep on fighting. Like Peanutsdad, I've been there too. Just keep moving forward.

POC

Noogie,

Hey, long time. Sorry to hear about things. It's a real kicker in the *icker, I know.

Just remember, Lady Justice is blind. But she's also deaf and really pissed off at ex-husbands who have the audacity to see their kids.
- This too will come to pass.