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Funny Definitely Worth the Read!

Started by flewwellin, Aug 17, 2005, 03:34:16 PM

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flewwellin

I had to share this with you guys!  

Worst First Date Story
>
>  We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just tells you
>  how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with
>  Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
>  date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
>  experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
>  prize!
>
>  She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
>  taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
>  day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
>  never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
>  were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the
>  mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had
>  that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest
>  room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold
>  it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow
>  and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better
>  stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his
>  car.
>
>  They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
>  down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she
>  let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.  Her
>  companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was
>  a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was
>  the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
>  situation.
>
>  Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.  As
>  she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
>  firmly glued against the car's fender.
>
>  Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she
>  attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
>  apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
>  Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
>  answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
>  that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
>  assistance!"
>
>  He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
>  then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
>  She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
>  themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
>  situation was, they also were faced with a real problem  Both agreed it
>  would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the
>  icy metal!
>
>  Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
>  place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.
>  So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
>  his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
>
>  As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize
>  hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." ..And you thought
>  your first date was embarrassing.
>
>  Jay Leno's comment .
>
>  "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."