melissa3- how are things?

[KathyNY]

I was just reading your postings about your relocation case, and since I'm going through the same thing right now, I feel your pain.  Your last update was on August 11th (today is the 22nd).  I wonder what's happened since then?  

In that last post you mentioned that the BM involved "might" make more money if she moves, and that the schools and environment are better where the kids currently live.  
From what I've learned so far in our case, BM has the burden of proof if she wants to move, to prove that the move is in the children's best interest, and the judge will consider the move if she's moving 1) because of a transfer for her job/promotion 2) husbands transfter/promotion 3) to be closer to family 4) greatly increase economic stablility.  Sounds like 3 strikes, she's out, in your case.  

While she may be moving closer to her family, the courts will not consider the "potential" for a better job/income as a valid enough reason, and if they are not married, he's not a factor (in our case, BM got engaged to the guy just after he took the transfer out of state, then ran off and married him last week-we go to trial next week).

Please update us, hope things are working out for the best for you & yours.

[KathyNY]

Okay...just saw you and I corresponded on the 17th under the "Custody Issues" topic.  But anything new since then?

[melissa3]

It's really great to have some one else in the same situation to talk with. =)

So, nope, no news as of yet. I really don't know what the judge meant when he said he'd, " take our case under advisement". I sort of wish we had an answer already (either good or bad) just so we know where we stand. One good thing, the longer this takes, the longer it is before BM moves.

Like I said, BM just wants to get my fiancé and I out of the picture as much as possible. And she's a shameless person so she'll go to any length to do just that. She already has!

Your BM sounds like a looney too. Good luck with that and make sure to keep an eye on her! I've found that "crazy" BM's are like little children - If they are being too quiet (or really nice) then they are definitely up to something. In our case, BM started being really, really nice to me and she actually told my Fiancé she wanted just the two of them (no lawyers) to sit down and work things out. Then, outta nowhere she sends an email to Fiancé telling him she's moving. You just can't trust this woman!!!

Best of luck to you and your family. =)

[KathyNY]

Yup, know what ya mean about BMs being nice and/or quiet.  When she called out of the blue and said she finally paid for the divorce, after our asking her to do so for 2+ years, we wondered what was coming.  

Now she's all of a sudden sticking to only the scheduled visitation per the separation agreement, no extra time.  Apparently she doesn't realize that's going to make it look worse for her in court.  We have plenty of witnesses who will testify that she has always given us extra time & visits, and unless she wants to commit perjury, she'll admit it too.  But now she's making up pick up at 6:00 on Fridays, and when FH called for today's weekly visit, said he's get the kids around 5:00, BM said "then you'll have them back at 7 right?"  What a bi$c#.  

I hope the lawyer today can give me some tips on how not to spit daggers from my eyes at her & her mom in court!  And I'm right there w/ you, wanting a decision, one way or the other, just to get the stress over with.  FH thinks I have an ulcer.  I've had acid reflux for 8 years but I've had incredible stomach pains since last Thursday but have been putting off going to the dr.  I've been able to hold him off by saying it's probably connected w/ my cycle, but the stress isn't helping.  On the other hand, like you said, the longer this drags out, the more time we have w/ them, and then they have to start school here and that's another plus on our side cuz the judge will have to consider whether or not to pull them out for the move.  

Keep your chin up.  I'll be thinking of you.

[melissa3]

Hi!!

Don't know if you read my post with Soc but I guess we need that Restraining Order now. Bm is trying to sneak the move so she can get child in school. Nice try!! Don't know why she couldnt just take the easy way and put child in school here!?!?! The crap just never ends......

Hope you and your family are doing well. I wish you all the luck in the world with your relocation case.

[KathyNY]

No, I didn't read that post.  How is she trying to "sneak" it?  Our petition took a week to be filed & approved- I hope your BM doesn't get the kid out of state before she gets served because it's very hard to get them back in the state once they're gone.  

Our trial starts tomorrow afternoon.  Now that BM is married and can say her "husband" took the transfer, and the other dad involved isn't going to fight for his daughter to stay, her case is a bit stronger, but that doesn't mean ours is weaker.  Our lawyer is still confident.  

[melissa3]

OMG I don't know what to do.

BM enrolled daughter in school in new state. From what I found online, school started today!!! Fiance and I have no idea where his daughtere is, we have no idea if she is here in MA or up there in NH now. BM never told us anything!! She's so in contempt.

We filed two motions yesterday - I have no idea what happened really and my head is still spinning. (I feel like I have jet lag!!)

Basically, this "Laywer of the Day" helped us file two motions to keep BM and daughter from relocation but the hearing wont be heard until next week, after the BM has snuck up to new state. That means daughter will be there for about a week already. What judge is going to tell BM to bring daughter back if daughter is already in school in new state? I think we've lost the war......

Oh, and Temp. Restraining Orders to keep daughter from being removed just dont exist here in MA. We had 20 different ignorant courthouse clerks tell us that. Everytime we mentioned the words "restraining order" they slapped a form for a 209A in our face (thats for harrassment, abuse ect) They just didnt listen to what we were saying. They were awful!!!

By the way, I hope everthing went well at your trial. Please let us know what the outcome was.

[Sunshine1]

Holy crap.  You need to get an emergency hearing.  Seriously.  Get a move on.  You should be able to find out where SD is enrolled by contacting her other school to see where they forwarded her "records".  (I sang the word "records" because BM is not as smart as she thinks she is...you try, it will feel good because you got a shot and she "thought" she was sneaky,a nd really she wasn't)

Do you have 50 legal?  You have every right to withdraw the enrollment because you do not agree and she is in trouble but to the degree is up to you.  Come out with both gunz blazing if you are going to get her to stay.  You object and you better have a damn good reason for why and how it will affect the child.

Keep us posted!!!

[melissa3]

HI!!

We did file an emergency motion but our judge isnt hearing motions until next friday - that was the best we could do, it sucks!

Right now Fiance has supervised visits, which made it impossible for him to get records from the first school/daycare/kindergarten. Can he call the school in the new state and just un-enroll his daughter?

[Sunshine1]

Does he know where it is?  If he does, he needs a copy of those enrollment forms to present to the court, so he can prove that she did enroll her in the other state.

Do you have 50 legal?

[melissa3]

Hi!

Yes they have 50/50 legal right now. There was a trial a month ago but still no answer yet so the first temp. order still stands.

We don't know which school it is. There are about 5 public schools near the BF's house (we googled his name to get the address.) We can call all the schools to find out if the duaghter is enrolled but I dont think the people will be too helpful. I mean, the fact that he's calling the school to find out if his daughter goes there is a red-flag that something is weird and they'll probably think he's not supposed to have contact with his kid.

This is insane!

Any suggestions on what to say to the school so he can just find out if his daughter is enrolled?

[ocean]

Look for the district number and call them. They will have the enrollment for all the schools in their area. I would just say, "hi, my name is XXX, I am XXXX father. I live out of state and wanted to find out who my child's teacher is" Let them look it up. If child is not listed, say" oh I must have the wrong district, can you please tell me who your neighboring district is?"
Good luck!

[Sunshine1]

the previous school that SD went to and you ask them where or what district they forwarded her school records to.  If they give you any crap you tell them that the mother enrolled her without your knowledge and you are trying to locate the school for court purposes....ocean's idea is good too.

[melissa3]

HELLO!!

We went to the first school last month to get records but they turned us down because mother gave them the temp order that says fiance has supervised visits. NOWHERE does it say he's not allowed to access records but I guess if you can't access your kid then you can't access their info either. Its all bull.

We just sent an email to BM asking where she enrolled daughter and when the first day is. If she doesnt respond then I'll have fiance call all the new schools. Either way the judge is going to hear about this crap the bM is pulling!

[ocean]

Call the first school again and ask for the Principal (if you talked to them before, ask to talk to the superintedent). Tell them he is the father and under the current law, you are entitled to records regardless of the visitation plan. They know this already but let them know you know :) Then ask, when you can pick up the records, along with what school they sent them to for the transfer.
Good luck!

[melissa3]

FERPA won't help us here. I got this paragraph from the MA state government site. See bold print....

Education Laws and Regulations
603 CMR 23.00
Student Records
23.07: Access to Student Records

(5) Access Procedures for Non-Custodial Parents. As required by M.G.L. c. 71, § 34H, a non-custodial parent may have access to the student record in accordance with the following provisions.

    (a) A non-custodial parent is eligible to obtain access to the student record unless:

       1. the parent has been denied legal custody based on a threat to the safety of the student or to the custodial parent, or
       2. the parent has been denied visitation or has been ordered to supervised visitation, or
       3. the parent's access to the student or to the custodial parent has been restricted by a temporary or permanent protective order, unless the protective order (or any subsequent order modifying the protective order) specifically allows access to the information contained in the student record.

BM gives this to all the people we try to contact. Our next step is to go to court and have this removed (since the damn visits were unnessecary to begin with!!!!)

Thank you all for your help and advice. I will keep you updated.

[lucky]

I'd double check.  I thought that FERPA overrode the state laws.
[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[notnew]

You need to go back to court and specifically ask for an order that contains language that gives you the right to all of the information for medical, school, etc.

That way they can't get around it no way no how.

I hope you are able to get the information.

[Sunshine1]

Its time to get sneaky and borderline illegal on finding this information.  I will have to think about how "I" would go about getting this information if it were me.  I don't take no for answer...EVER.  I should be in therapy. LOL.  Don't worry we will pool our resources and get this info!!!

[Sunshine1]

I got an idea.  You have a PM.