SS myspace

[wysiwyg]

Got a question for all of you.  I am in a quandry on how (or if) to approach this issue.

I work for for several school districts and all of them have myspace blocked.  I am sure I do not need to preach on the issues this site has in regards to kids and school.

The other day I was in my SS myspace, he does not know I can get in, I simply try adn keep an eye on any potential issues brewing in order to intervene if it ever becomes necessary.  Please do not think I am snooping.  At our home none of our other kids can get to myspace as we believe it to not be a good influance - so it is blocked.  RE SS: he is now conversing late at night with a female (young) teacher, who also has another boy added as one of her buddies.  Nothing terribly inappropriate - comments like "its after 1 AM why are you still up (to teacher)" (teacher reply's) "I really miss you guys when I am not teaching" and "I am not as old as you might think" to SS and SS asking questions about her husband.  

I think it is terribly juvenile for a teacher - a role model- to be talking about private things one on one via myspace mail late at night, and encouraging this type of communication expecially since the school's stance is to prohibit it.  I have to wonder about her intentions.

I am leaning on perhaps saying nothing at this moment in time, my SS has a great open relationship with me and we have had many talks regarding girls and physical relationships, I am hoping he will open up about this and I can talk to him about it and express my concern.  However my question to you guys is "how or would you handle it with the school?"

Thanks!

[mistoffolees]

I'm torn on this one.

While the teacher's behavior seems out of line (the comments don't quite cross the line, but they're close, but communicating with the kids at 1 am is definitely out of line), you have to worry about false accusations which could ruin the woman's career.

Personally, I think I'd err on the side of safety and notify the authorities that you're concerned about the teacher's behavior with copies of the 1 am communications. There's a risk that she's really innocent, but I think the greater risk is that her behavior will get worse and lead to something more serious.

Another option is to have someone in a neutral position (pastor, etc) talk directly with the teacher about this and say that at least one parent is concerned. There's a risk that she'll continue the behavior but just be more careful about hiding it.

Unfortunately, someone's likely to get hurt here and I think you have a responsibility to try to enusre that it's not your underage ss.

Just my $0.02.

[notnew]

The teacher's comments are highly inappropriate. I am sure you remember the Pamela Smart saga. She got those boys to kill her husband.

You need to take action immediately. I would report this to the police. I think going to the principal could be an act that would give the heads up to the teacher and they would possibly try to address the problem without police involvement due to the bad press it would give to the school.

The police will be able to access myspace and monitor her on-line conversations in the course of their investigations. I would go to the police station and explain how you came across this and let them know you don't want to damage the relationship you have with your ss and would like to keep your identity hidden unless it is absolutely necessary to reveal to get this teacher removed from her position.

Please don't wait. If this were a male teacher im'ing with your step daughter - would you react differently?  Female sexual predators are just as dangerous and their acts are just as heinous as men's.

[speciallady]

Well, before you go to the school, why not just talk to the teacher?
At my school, myspace is blocked too--but I do email two of my students regularly and if they wanted to find me on myspace,  they could.  I converse with them on my home computer and they, theirs. One of them moved and I like to keep in touch with her.

I'd just talk to the teacher.

[wysiwyg]

We have tried to talk to the teacher about other issues, ie SS had something he signed up for on a Saturday that she claimed was mandatory, we asked her who signed him up, she said the kids signed themselves up and we simply told her that we see him EOW and did not know about this nor did we give the child permission to do this on our time and we had made plans and she in the course of our emails which we very polite and not advesarial, offered to allow the child to come on one of the other 4 days on a time that would not conflict with our plans, we asked her to let the child know since we had no way of talking to him beforehand and that she should please tell him of the time change she made, she never did, the child did not go and now we await to see what will happen.  Since DH is NCP they are not apt to talk to us - and as a matter of fact the school has told BM that anything she needs or has to say has to go thru her attorney to the districts attorney as they are done dealing with her and her lies.  She has been held in contempt for providing the school false information.  I do not think it is wise for teacher to speak to student via my space about why she up late and not in bed and how she misses the kids terribly and what her husband did for her on Val Day, email homework and the like is fine but I do not think it is in her best interest to mix personal with professional chat.

[mistoffolees]

My earlier advice was to go ahead and notify the authorities. However, with the additional information you've provided, you run the risk of being labeled a trouble maker (like it or not, you're associated with the BM in the school's eyes).

I think I'd either go through a neutral third party (pastor, etc) or else make the complaint anonymously to the principal (send a copy to the school board to ensure that it gets attention).

[wysiwyg]

yes I agree and have weighed this and hope that we can find that someone and oppurtunity to express this situation.