If you both want to use the same atty. to save money and it's not contested, then you don't go to court to dispute it. It doesn't make any difference what the judge thinks...if that's the agreement you come up with, that's what you get.
But I think you are confused on this '
joint physical custody' issue. Many divorcing women automatically think that if the father wants joint physical and
legal custody, it's because they don't want to pay support. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he loves his children and wants to have equal say and effort into raising them? And what makes you think that if he doesn't pay support, he's not taking care of his kids financially?
The idea of support is to make sure that BOTH parents are equally supporting their kids financially, regardless of whom the kids live with. So if you share
physical custody equally, you would still be paying equally. The other financial details to work out would be in who carries insurance, how OOP medical and dental expenses are handled, and how to split costs that are over and above normal, every days expenses (extra-curricular activities, high dollar toys, etc). Then you have the special custody issues that must be worked out, like where the kids spend the holidays and how vacations are worked out.
Sorry if I sound crass, but that old dig that fathers who want to share in raising the children that they love are ONLY doing it to get out of paying support is just plain ignorant. Just because you carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them doesn't mean he loves them any less than you do or would take care of them worse than you. He may not take care of them EXACTLY the way you want him to (within legal limits), but that's not for you to say once you split. His way of parenting will not be like yours..........the reason why God made it possible to have children ONLY by having a male and female come together, because children MUST HAVE the influence of both to grow up as well rounded individuals.
The best possible outcome for your children is to have constant and continuous contact with both parents, and having a 50/50 split with physical custody and joint legal will ensure that. But ONLY if you are willing to put any differences you may have with each other aside and be willing to co-parent with him. You must have thought enough of him at one point to have 3 children with him, now you will still be in each other's lives as long as those children are alive. For your children's sake, you both need to be the better person and put their needs first. And what they need the most is BOTH their parents.
Again, I apologize if this sounds crass, but this is a sore subject with me......my
SS suffered for years because his mother hated
DH so much, she thought she could make him pay for the supposed hurt he caused her by limiting his contact with SS to the absolute minimum that the court would allow. And we only live 2 blocks apart. Can you imagine living so close to your child and only seeing them 96 hours a month???? Thank God for SS's sake, she went through another divorce and 'saw the light'.....now we see him at least every weekend, since DH now works out of town all week. And SS relishes EVERY minute of it.
