What steps should we take?

[sherrie ohio]

I've posted here in the past,it's been awhile.We need someone to point us in the direction to go.Hopefully some of you rember,some of my past post.
Well there is another chapter to this never ending story.My husband gets his child just about every weekend now and the past month we nocticed a decline in how clean his daughter looks when she comes here.
She's comeing to our home smelling,greesy/dirty hair,and scraching all over.But her clothes are clean.
Well this past visit we noticed as soon as she got here she was digging her head.My husband questioned her about it and she said she has dry scalp.Thinking her head to be just dirty Dad sent her to take a shower.We nocticed she still was some after that and he looked at her head and she had lice.
He took her up to BM and she wasnt home but SD was.Told what was wrong and BM needed to take care of her head as soon as possible,because we were leaveing town.
Later BM calls there's nothing on her head she say's.She didnt fine anything.Dad tells her well he did,and she neeed looked after.BM then said it was dry scalp from us haveing her use dandruff shampoo one time.Wich Dad replyed he seen lice on her head.Fianly BM amitted that the child and the rest had had lice but they were all treated and the house was cleaned.Maybe she might be getting them back a lilttle.
Can and how do we prove there is neglect here?This is the 5th time this child has been like this.I cant beleive the school hasnt caught it.How do we prove this,there are other things going on to.How do you show the  child has lice about three times a year.
Are we over reacting? Help..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MixedBag]

IMHO -- lice is not going to be considered neglect in the eyes of the court.

Too many people have problems certain times of the year.

Teach the child what to do to help prevent reinfestation.

AND contact her school so that they are aware of the problem because many times, it's circulating at that level.

My girls got it too -- and I was embarrassed about it until the teachers said "Yep, it's making it's round here....blah blah blah."

[notnew]

You don't mention if you have treated your own home for lice as well. Head lice can live in many places. You need to clean all of your hairbrushes and combs with lice killing stuff and I would highly suggest a quick dip in boiling water.

ALL of your sheets, towels, etc., must be washed in HOT water with bleach for whites and colorfast colors.

There is spray you can buy to spray all of your furniture, etc.

I don't understand why the two of you found it necessary to confront the BM and demand she address the problem. The solution to this is as simple as driving to the local drugstore and buying RID (head lice treatment). Then it would have only been necessary to alert the BM that the problem existed and how you had treated it.

If the child has had head lice 5 times, it is very likely she is getting it again by being at your un-treated home. Calling the school is an excellent suggestion.

Head lice are yucky and none of us want to think about our kids having them. But the facts are that it is going to happen at least once. Informing the school and your child's playmates is the most curteous thing to do. Believe me, my kids had a friend who had it and her mother didn't tell anyone. The whole neighborhood had to deal with it several times before she fessed up. Makes you feel like whacking them in the head!  It is nothing to be ashamed about and I agree with Mixed - the court won't see it as neglect. There are some childhood issues that none of us are able to avoid.

I don't mean to offend you two - just saying lighten up - some things that happen with kids, happen to almost all kids, not just yours. If there are other issues going on that you are concerned about, then document and pick your battles wisely. The reoccuring head lice may be considered along with a list of other issues, but by itself isn't a big deal.

PS - don't forget your car if you have cloth seats. AND most importantly - don't forget to check your own scalps.

Good luck!

[MixedBag]

(nm)

[msme]

gr8Mom & gr8Dad have 8 kidlets. Headlice are a fact of life. An ugly, nasty but very real fact of life. They keep stuff on hand & if one turns up with them, everyone gets treated.

We also had to deal with his ex when she had custody. She swore that they got them from playing with the low class kids who lived near him. It turned out that they were being spread in the baseball & softball batting helmets. Our town leagues now require each kid have their own batting helmet.

How long is her hair? Kids with long hair tend to get them more easily, as their hair brushes up against a lot more surfaces, like the backs of chairs.

Our kids have been taught to ask for a check if they get itchy. Early detection is the best weapon. Also, you must gather up all stuffed toys & seal them in a heavy duty garbage bag for at least 2 weeks. A day of sun on the bag helps.

Tell the teacher, the coach, & the leader of any other organization the child may participate in. Don't forget the Sunday School teacher. Just tell them that the lice were discovered & treated. You do not know where they came from but want to give everyone fair warning.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[msme]

Made a poster awhile ago but can't find it, right now. I solved one of the mysteries of the ages. Where do head lice come from?

I was walking through Walmart & happened to be checking the isle lists, looking for something when there was the answer, right up there on the sign. The top item on the list was "LICE". So I took out my digital cam & took a picture. The answer to that age old question was simple. They sell them at Walmart. LOL

I made the poster & gave a copy to our school nurse. She took it to a convention, where it was copied & everyone was wild about it. The last time I looked, "LICE" is no longer listed on the isle markers. LOL

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[Cookiemomma4]

It also should be noted that lice usually don't thrive on oily and dirty hair.  It makes them slick and they can't "hold on" or latch on as well.  Just a note so that you don't think that this is a sign of an unclean child.

[sherrie ohio]

None of us in our  home have ever had head lice.The childs sibling's in her mothers home always have it at the same time, BM and current man due sometimes as well.We always clean and spray our home everytime she comes to our home with lice.The child has been dropped of and walks in the door and you could see them crawling in the hair.
We are tired of BM sending her here in that state with no warning! That is why we felt the need to say something to BM.
BM and current man have amitted lately they are takeing the child into two differnt homes were the children have lice on a regurler basies.
The problem lie's in their home,so they should take care of it.We are just tired of finding the child in that state when she comes here ,and them also putting us at risk of catching it.
Think what you like,but a good mother would notice the child scratching their head all the time and lice crawling on it.....

[sherrie ohio]

Also it had been two weeks sense the child had been here...we have weekends.She didn't leave here with the problem(and yes I check the kids hair),but she came back here with the problem.

[sherrie ohio]

And the school knows about the problem and does head checks with all students,when a child shows up with lice.It's a "small" school there wasn't any children besides this child and the siblings from BM home.And it has happen several times and the school has said something to BM about that fact.

[krazyfamily_6]

Although lice is a big pain in the you know what to get rid of, I highly doubt the courts would look upon it as neglect.  

It is a way too common childhood annoyance.  There are several children who have had headlice at my children's school this year and the school does frequent head checks.

How much do you know about head lice and how to get rid of it?  If you treat the child at your house, did you know you should re check in something like 8 to 10 days?  Sometimes eggs get missed and they hatch.

Here is a great site for lots of info about lice......
http://headlice.org/

Are you taking the steps after the child leaves to clean your home?  Washing pillows, sheets, blankets?  Taking any stuffed animal and bagging it or putting it in the dryer?  Are you vacumming floors and couches?  Cleaning brushes and combs?  

Sometimes people think they can just wash the child's hair with the lice shampoo and the problem is solved, but that is not the case.  

Good luck!

[lucky]

Sherrie,

We had a similar problem, however, dh was CP.  Everytime YSD went to BMs, she would end up with lice within a week.  I was going crazy taking time off of work and cleaning our WHOLE house every other week along with treating the kids for lice.  Turns out that OSD had lice (BM was CP of her then) and BM treated OSD & the living area, but simply closed OSD's bedroom door instead of treating it and washing bedding, etc.  Then the girls slept in there.

We tried for neglect, but got nowhere - we were viewed as trying to get the poor little BM in trouble when she was doing the best she could.  Wah, wah!

Ultimately, we'd treated YSD so many times with the OTC shampoos that she began losing her hair.  She hasn't had it in years, but if she ever does again, we'll treat it naturally.  No one cared.

Sad, isn't it?


[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[sherrie ohio]

I'm glad tohave someone to talk to who knows were we are comeing from.
 I'm tired of the poor me deal with the BM,what about the child?This has been a repeat thing with this child and the siblings in BM home.
BM has blamed it on the school,us haveing her wash her hair every day and every friend the child has had.Untill awhile back she amitted they were going into two differnt homes that the children had lice alot.And BM has even envited the children and parents to stay over knowing they have this problem.
I maybe rong feeling this way but but it makes me mad she takes the child places that she knows this will happen.And then send's her to our home with no warning and act's afended when we say the child has lice.
 It's been a few month's sense there has been a case of it.The school had Bm come to the school for a meeting due to the children comeing to school so much with lice.
There hasn't been a problem sense, but everytime the child scratches their head I feel my self tense.