A few questions........

[Stepmom0418]

Soc,

My Dh court order reads:

Petitioner (DH) shall have visitation every other weekend and every other holiday beginning with Labor Day with the petitioner (DH). Holidays include Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. When holiday visitation follows a weekend visit, the petitioner's visitation should end at 7pm on the Monday holiday instead of Sunday.

Additionally petitioner is to have 4 days for Thanksgiving 2004 and 6 days for Christmas of 2004. (this was due to her denial of DH summer visitation as well as Memorial Day and Labor Day)

So DH's holidays are Christmas Eve and New Years Day. Ex's is Christmas Day:  so he requested that he have his 6 days from Dec 26 to Dec 31 (5 days) plus New Years would be his holiday and then the 1st of Jan to the 2nd of Jan is the 6th day.

DH sent a letter to confirm what days he wants visitation, sent certified with return reciept. He has heard no response as of yet.

Questions:

1)Does the above request for his 6 days sound like it is with in what the court order reads?

2)If he does not get child when he requested does he hold the cards for another contempt motion? (he has 11 that were dismissed with out prejudice)

3)Ex always seems to deny visits around holidays and any time that is for more than the normal weekend visit. Is there an advantage that we can use in court in Feb that we are over looking? (final trial is in Feb for custody)

4)Any other advise??


Thank you as always Soc!!!

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1)Does the above request for his 6 days sound like it is with
>in what the court order reads?

yes.

>
>2)If he does not get child when he requested does he hold the
>cards for another contempt motion? (he has 11 that were
>dismissed with out prejudice)

yes

>3)Ex always seems to deny visits around holidays and any time
>that is for more than the normal weekend visit. Is there an
>advantage that we can use in court in Feb that we are over
>looking? (final trial is in Feb for custody)

it's all part of a pattern to use the kids as punishment.

>4)Any other advise??

Show up when you say you're gonna show in your letter and if she doesn't transfer the kids to you, call the sheriff, and, even if they won't help, file a report, then file a new motion for contempt. If the judge already has punished her before, and you are denied precisely when you are exercising your make up time, I'd say that the judge, if he/she has the slightest courage, will nail her to the cross (figuratively speaking).

[Stepmom0418]

We thought we were with in the limits of what the court order says but just wanted to double check with you to make sure.


We know from the past that the Sherrifs Office won't do anything although we have been able to get them to file a report for us when she denies. We will file a report if she is not there.


When we were in court on the show cause hearing for the contempt motion the judge told Ex that:

1) They better come up with an agreement and make some kind of a deal with us because if the 11 counts of contempt goes before him that she would be held in contempt. (Attorneys met with judge in chambers and showed a small part of evidence)

2)Ex better follow the new court order or DH can and will bring in new counts of contempt as well as the 11 that were dismissed with prejudice.

So yes at this point I think that the judge has the courage and will nail her to the cross. (IMO)

Question:

1)We meet at a neutral drop off point. A gas station. Will getting a reciept help us to prove we were there? (We usually get a reciept when we arrive and another when we depart. The reciepts have the location, time, and date)

2)Ex usually calls either the day visitation is to begin and trys to change the terms. (example........ she calls and trys to change the pick up time or the return time) Since it is the holidays and all should DH try and be a "nice guy" or should he stick to the letter that was sent over a month ago and the reminder one a week ago? (they both say the same thing)

3)Any advise on the easiest way to get an Ex to follow a CO when she has proved so many times before that she dont care what the courts say??

4)Anything else that might help?

[socrateaser]

>Question:
>
>1)We meet at a neutral drop off point. A gas station. Will
>getting a reciept help us to prove we were there? (We usually
>get a reciept when we arrive and another when we depart. The
>reciepts have the location, time, and date)

yes.

>
>2)Ex usually calls either the day visitation is to begin and
>trys to change the terms. (example........ she calls and trys
>to change the pick up time or the return time) Since it is the
>holidays and all should DH try and be a "nice guy" or should
>he stick to the letter that was sent over a month ago and the
>reminder one a week ago? (they both say the same thing)

stick to the order exactly. refuse any modification, no matter how trivial.

>
>3)Any advise on the easiest way to get an Ex to follow a CO
>when she has proved so many times before that she dont care
>what the courts say??

Uzi (Israeli handheld fully automatic weapon).

>4)Anything else that might help?

Uzo (strong Grecian liquior used to gain courage necessary to use Uzi).

Kidding, of course. Merry Christmas.

[Stepmom0418]

Thank you from the bottom of both of our hearts Soc!!!! We can't say thank you enough!!


Merry Christmas and Please have a SAFE and Happy New Year!!!!!!!

(I had to add in the Safe New Year due to all the talk I have seen lately about the Uzi and the Uzo! The combination sounds a bit dangerous! LOL!
Although ...................the Uzi might be tempting! Got one?? LOL!!!
(Kidding, of course)


Again Merry Christmas Soc!!!!!!!

Oh and by the way, I think that was a record response time! Thanks!

[Stepmom0418]

Soc,

DH did not get DS for his holiday on Christmas Eve. (supposed to have DS from 9am till 8pm and she never showed. DH is contacting his attorney about the contempt on that and the following matter too but wanted your opinion in the meantime)

DH did get DS for the extended holiday. (the 6 days plus New Years Holiday) Well he is here for now anyways unless something drastic happens.


DS has told DH that he has not been staying at his moms home and have been bouncing around for a place to stay because there is no heat in their home. Due to being no heat the water pipes have froze and there is no water. Before they froze though DS said that they were leaking and it was filling up the basement.

DH would like to see if he can get an emergency hearing on the above grounds and also DS has missed 8 days of school in the past month due to not having a place to live within the school district. DH has a final custody hearing coming up in Feb.

Another thing that is a bit of a concern is that the last 2 visits that we have had with SS, ex told DH that SS is sick and needs to take a cough medicine. Since he has been here there has been NO cough and he has been fine. Medicine is Hydrocodone and says as needed for cough. Ex has been giving it too him we have not as he has not been coughing.
Questions:

1) Is this possiable?
2)What advise do you have on the above matter?
3)Could the cough be related to his living conditions? (mold due to water in basement, no heat, bouncing from home to home)

[socrateaser]

>1) Is this possiable?
>2)What advise do you have on the above matter?
>3)Could the cough be related to his living conditions? (mold
>due to water in basement, no heat, bouncing from home to
>home)

I'm not an expert on envronmental hazards or a medical doctor, so I won't speculate on this issue.

As to the child looking for somewhere else to live, this is a double-edged sword. You can argue that the child is not being adequately cared for because your support money is being squandered. The custodial parent can argue that you are not paying enough support to adequately care for the child.

Re missing Christmas eve, it appears that the CP disagrees with your interpretation, which will make a contempt order impossible, but the court can certainly clarify the matter so there will be no future misunderstandings.

[Stepmom0418]

Just wanted to say that the CO says every other Holiday with Labor Day being with the petitioner. (DH is petitioner) Holidays include Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Holiday visitation shall take presidence over normal visitation.

For the holidays the CO is pretty clear, or it seems to me that it is.

1)Does this change your mind on the contempt at all?

[socrateaser]

>1)Does this change your mind on the contempt at all?

If you prove that you were denied the child's company, then you should be able to prove the contempt. That should get you a make-up day and possibly attorney fees or even some economic sanctions.

You allude to lots of other contempt issues, but, as I don't know what they are, I can't comment on whether the aggregate would be compelling enough to justify a new custody hearing.

[Stepmom0418]

Soc, DH is still in the middle of a custody hearing. This is only a temp order. Final hearing date is Feb 9th.

As for the other contempt issues:

Dh has been denied 34 days of contact with child since April of 04.(including Labor Day, Memorial Day, Fathers Day, Christmas Eve, and numerous regular weekends) Dh has police complaints, voicemail messages from BM that state child is not coming, as well as letters that DH sent before the visit was to occur that states when where and what time he intended to pick up child. Letters were sent certified with return reciept.(on one message BM says that her attorney says that if Dh doesn't come to a certain spot and pick up child then child IS NOT comming for visit. This spot is somewhere other than the Co says pick up is at)

The child missed 37 days of school last year and has already missed 8 or 9 this year. (7 of them in this past month) The child has NO medical issues that would require him to miss this much school.

The teacher has said that if child was in school on a regular basis that he could be caught up and at grade level or very close to it by the end of the year. Teacher also says that when he takes homework home to his moms house it never comes back to school and that he has not been studying his speeling words nor has he been doing his nightly reading assignments. Teacher also says child is very overwhelmed when he returns after missing so many days and it is very hard for him to get caught up. Truency officer is involved as well.

Any further comment or advise??

Thanks Soc!

[socrateaser]

>Any further comment or advise??

Not really. From your posts, it appears that the other parent is in self-destruct mode. If so, then you'll get primary custody and that will be the end of it.

[Stepmom0418]

Thank you Soc! We hope you are right about the primary custody since that would be in the childs best interest. We will all know .........Feb is just around the corner!! I will be back I am sure between now and then. Thanks again for the input!