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Author Topic: She is safe and happy with us (corrected format)  (Read 897 times)

ForAly

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She is safe and happy with us (corrected format)
« on: Feb 09, 2005, 04:55:06 PM »
  Dear Soc,

My husband's ex told their 14 year old daughter (after she ran away and DCFS was called on mom) to go live with her dad. The mom, who is CP, called me and said to bring over clothes and come pick her up. The mom sent her out of the door with a stuffed animal and gym clothes (no coat, not personal items, nothing).

What brought things to a head is that BM and stepdad twisted both daughter's arms back and BM slapped daughter in order to take away cell phone we had bought daughter in case she needed to contact us.  BM does not allow daughter to have private conversations.

Mom had packed up her room and put everything in boxes. This happened 15 days ago. Mom has called two times since telling daughter she wasn't changing custody but just letting her visit dad. Daughter will not talk to BM and BM has not talked to my husband.

We also have her pregnant 18 year old sister (who mom kicked out one week before turning 18) living with us. She is seeing a psychologist for all the emotional and verbal abuse her mom put her through. We are, of course, continuing to pay child support.

Quick background: We filed for custody 18 months ago but pulled out in December for numerous reasons. Daughters hate BM who is on her 4th husband and has bipolar episodes. The 14 year does not want to return home. We have the school counselor and social worker on our side.

We are now in a routine and our daughter is happy and adjusted.  We are in Illinois. Joint Parenting Agreement states after 4 weeks child support can stopped.

Our lawyer is stating that there is nothing we can do and that when mom decides daughter needs to go home, we have no recourse. We would like to go in for emergency temporary custody because the mom told her to get out and live with dad.  We expect to hear something when the four weeks are up because BM cannot survive without child support.

1.  Do you think we should talk to another lawyer?

2.  Is there anything you can think of that we can do to keep our daughter with us where she is safe?
 


socrateaser

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RE: She is safe and happy with us (corrected format)
« Reply #1 on: Feb 09, 2005, 06:14:16 PM »
>1.  Do you think we should talk to another lawyer?

Yes.

>
>2.  Is there anything you can think of that we can do to keep
>our daughter with us where she is safe?

File for permanent custody on grounds that the mother has ordered the child from the custodial home, and that represents a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child's best interests. File for temporary emergency custody I assume that on grounds that the child has suffered physical abuse at the hands of the other parent and step parent.

I assume that the child will testify to this. If so, you win. Game over.

File a complaint with the police.

ForAly

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RE: She is safe and happy with us (corrected format)
« Reply #2 on: Feb 09, 2005, 06:31:52 PM »
Thank you for your quick response and I am sorry about my posting errors.

We did file a police report and the police officer, after talking to mom and stepfather, stated she had a right to hit her because she was being disobedient for not giving up the phone.  The police officere also told daughter that the next time she ran away, he was going to call social services and put her in foster care and her father would be in trouble for giving her these ideas.

DCFS told daughter, when visiting with mom, that mom had a right to correct her (hit her) and that the "mom" should call the police the next time the daughter will not do what she is told.

The daughter is will to testify as long as she is living with us.  When with mom, she is afraid of her (long history of emotional and verbal abuse).

We had a custody evaluation but the evalutor, even though he agreed mom was living immoral life and unstable, recommended custody stay the same but all should go into counseling.

We are now fight ex's lawyer who sued us for BM's legal fees because BM won't pay him.

Mother is now stating she was only letting daughter visit with dad.

1)  Can we still use that she asked her to leave to gain temporary custody even though she will deny it?

2)  How can we stop her from grabbing her at school because she has legal custody?

3)  When you said "file a police report" did you mean about BM and stepparent hitting her or about the daughter being asked to leave?

Thanks again!


socrateaser

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RE: She is safe and happy with us (corrected format)
« Reply #3 on: Feb 09, 2005, 11:03:26 PM »
>1)  Can we still use that she asked her to leave to gain
>temporary custody even though she will deny it?

Your child must testify. That's the only way.

>
>2)  How can we stop her from grabbing her at school because
>she has legal custody?

By asking for emergency custody.

>
>3)  When you said "file a police report" did you mean about BM
>and stepparent hitting her or about the daughter being asked
>to leave?

The hitting. Look, either the child is being abused or she's not. If she is, then it's a very serious thing. If not, then this is all a fairy tale and it will backfire.

I'd consider having the kid take a polygraph exam to see just exactly what the level of abuse is. If it's bad, then the DA will be interested.

 

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