NO VISITATION

[TTOPETE]

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO I SPAnked my kids, this is very rare. i have a 8,10 yr old.we are not together. she just started seeing somebody else and is using this incident to keep me away. i have no issues with this , i just want to see my boys.she called cps and told me that i could not seed them till further notice. cps did not confirm. i do have a current order with set visitations. how do i enforce this? any advise would be helpfull.

[mmrscupcakes]

As i see it, if you have a court order, there is nothing she can do to stop you.  Call her and tell her when you will be there to pick up the children.  If she refuses you the children, call the police station and ask for help in getting the kids.  The police must enforce the court order.

[TTOPETE]

this is not a priority for cops. they refer to it as" keeping the peace" they will respond to the call at there convenience if at all. is this the only way?

[MYSONSDAD]

She can not deny you visitation!

Go everytime it is your parenting time. If she does not comply, go directly to the local Police Department and get nothing less then an incident report. Do this everytime. If they give you problems, ask to talk with the on duty supervisor. If that does not work, call the local sheriff. BRING A COPY OF THE CO. You need documentation of the refusals. If possible, bring a witness. Check your State statues on the taping laws for your State. Bring a recorder, camcorder and camera. I keep a disposible in my car at all times.

File contempt everytime you are refused. Ask for make up time and court expenses. When you get to court, have the judge put a 'Enforcement Sanction' into the CO. This will force the Police to comply, like it or not, they have to enforce court orders.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

Do not let her get away with this crap. She is cheating you out of your time and she is cheating your sons of having time with their father.

I would also check to see if she called CPS. I would bet my A$$, she did not. If she did not call, she is feeding you a line of crap.

Have you had problems in the past? What State are you in? Lots of people here who have gone thru this. They will also have more suggestions.

This morning, I too, will be denied my time and again, be visiting the local Police. They know me by my first name.

DO IT EVERYTIME!!!

"Children learn what they live"

[hagatha]

First thing you need to do is contact CPS. If she did actually call, chances are they have told her to withold visits until the case has been investigated. When you call CPS you must ask if there is a current investigation pending. You should also wite a letter (RRR) asking for any information on any cases regarding the children they are presently investigating or have already investigated. If she did call, they will go talk to her and the kids first, then they have 30 days to begin the actual investigation and contact you. During that time she can withold visits without being in contempt.

However, that does not mean you can't file contempt charges. If she is denying your parenting time, file the motion for contempt. She will probably not get in trouble with the court, but you can ask the court to order therapy for the kids at the hearing. Chances are your kids went home and told her you beat them. They need to understand their part in this. I would bet they are playing both of you against each other. They know the annimosity exists and will use it to their advantage.

The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[onedaddy]

What is this "Enforcement Sanction" you refer to?

[TTOPETE]

thanks for the feedback... so far karma has been looking out. can someone update me on laws regarding spanking a child?

[TTOPETE]

live in ca. regarding problems in the past, yes, she has done this before its her way of telling me that she is seeing somebody and doesnt want me comming around. cps was called. they left a message to contact them.

[Stepmom0418]

I found this link......

http://www.familyrightsassociation.com/info/spanking_laws.htm

Try it and see if it helps to answer your questions.


Question

1 did you spank your children with your hand or other?

2 did you leave marks on them?


I ask these questions because that is what CPS will be looking at I am sure.

Have you contacted CPS? If not i would suggest contacting them soon or they may ASSUME you are guilty because you have failed to get back to them or they may feel you are AVOIDING them.

Good Luck to you and your children!!

[MYSONSDAD]

It is a sanction that can be added to the Co and it forces the Police to act on further problems of denied visitation. The Police department would need to uphold the CO.

A lot depends on the officers. Some are willing to get involved and others will resist.

They are supposed to keep the peace. I would think they would automaticcally have to abide by a court order. If I was harassing her, you can bet, I'd be in jail with an RO against me.

[MYSONSDAD]

"Children learn what they live"

[hagatha]

Well CPS would rather you never spanked your children. However, I beleive you can smack, using your hand only, no closed fist and never in the face. And you can not leave a mark that lasts more than a couple hours.


Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[Stepmom0418]

No Problem! I thought there were several that may be interested in this subject!!

[MYSONSDAD]

Next time you have your boys and they are acting up, sit them on the couch and make them hold hands. After a few times, they will get the message.
 
"Children learn what they live"

[Stepmom0418]

Hey funny you should mention this because DH and I have actually done this with our girls. They are only 17 months apart in age. SO...someimes they are the best of friends and then other times one would think they were worst enimies!

This does help and I would also agree it may be something worth trying.

[onedaddy]

Thank you!
I will request that be put into the new order.  
The police are a huge problem. You are right, the BM in our case has filed false police reports 2x.  You better believe they listened,  they said her sworn statement without any proof to back anything up conmstituted a mandatory arrest.  My god, my husband was never arrested in his life and had to spend time in a prison because of this, thankfully at trial the judge realized she was full of it closed my husbands record but refused to punish her.  Now when I have approached the police regarding threats of violence made by BM and her husband and threats to throw him back in jail if we do not do as she says with tape recordings to prove every bit of it, they turn a deaf ear.
Maybe if it is worded in the CO I can coerce them into listening.  
Thanks muchly!

[MYSONSDAD]

Your welcome.

I had problems today, denied visitation and they refused to fill out an incident report, said it would cause them to be supeanaed and would cost the city time and a half for them to appear in court. Like it or not the supeana will be served anyway.

What about enforcing peoples rights.  To protect and serve.

I know where you are coming from. Just got an RO off me. No evidence and she can ruin my life with 'I'm afraid' And yet she does not get a slap on the wrist. I lost time with my son over it and I do expect another RO any day now.

So my question is...

What good is a court order if the Police Agencies will not enforce it?

If the shoe was on the other foot, I would be sitting in jail right now.

[TTOPETE]

I feel for you, just cause i know how it feels to have somebody tell you "you cant see your kids" and then to have police backup(ro). well, this is probably not the best way to go about doing things but like my brother said it will get results. when calling the cops to enforce a court order dont mention it. simply tell them that you are there to pick up your kids and your trying to avoid a domestic dispute. this automaticlly makes it a possible dv so it becomes priority. cops garanteed to be there withen 5 minutes. keep your cool. stay in your car till they get there. have your court order papers. my brother is a LAPD. ADVISE STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE. dont forget all you were trying to do was avoid confrontation.(you were the one afraid) dont forget to get names and badge #'s.

[MYSONSDAD]

Your brother is 'RIGHT ON'.

When I got my RO, My son was the first priority. He was so young and I wanted to keep up the visitation. The attorneys worked out a meeting place we both agreed to. It was the local Police Department. On the first day, I went early and explained to the Officer I was having some problems with picks and drop offs, told them I was trying to avoid any further conflict. Just wanted my time with my son.

I always get the name and badge numbers. I think yesterday went the way it did because my trial is coming up and I know they have probably been supeanaed.

I went inside so I would be on tape, he also called the dispatch several times letting them know her car was there and she refused to answer the door. There has to be a log of that. And I brought my witness.

I do stay in the car until they get there, but I drive a few houses down so that she can not get me for stalking or harrassment.

"Children learn what they live"