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Author Topic: Teen threatening to refuse a visit  (Read 1282 times)


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Teen threatening to refuse a visit
« on: Mar 07, 2006, 09:36:13 PM »

I am NCM.  All parties are in PA.  Two NC chldren 16 year old son and 13 year old daughter.

DD arrived for weeknight visitation with a birthday party inviatation for this weekend.  The party would require me to drive 90 minutes each way, so that's six hours travel in all.  It is also an overnight.  So a good portion of my time with her would be gone.

My suggestion was to see if the Cp would be willing to switch a day so that DD could attend the party, which incidentally is for a relative of the Step-mother's.  Cp is either unwilling or unable to switch.

DD called me hysterical because she won't be able to go to this party.  She thinks this is all my fault.  PAS has been an issue in the case for many years.  She is stating that she intends to not come for the visit this week and possibly never wants to come back again ( typical 13 year old drama).

When DD was here and we discussed the fact that i wouldn't allow her to attend the party but would esee if dad could switch she was cool as a cuccumber.  We saw none of the hysterionics I heard over the phone 15 minutes after Cp picked her up from the visit.

Kids activites are begining to take over a large portion of paretning time and my realtionships with the children are begining to suffer.  Cp will not allow make up time.


What should I do if DD refuses the visit and Cp doesn't make her come?

What is a good way to handle kid's desires/obligations which interfere with parenting time?


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RE: Teen threatening to refuse a visit
« Reply #1 on: Mar 07, 2006, 11:00:20 PM »
>What should I do if DD refuses the visit and Cp doesn't make
>her come?

Your questions are psychological, not legal. There are no legal solutions to your queries, and I'm not qualified to give psycological counseling.

However, I suggest you get ready to loosen way up on the reins, because if you don't, your hands will get rope burns.

>What is a good way to handle kid's desires/obligations which
>interfere with parenting time?

Nuclear weapons.


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RE: Teen threatening to refuse a visit
« Reply #2 on: Mar 08, 2006, 12:47:39 AM »
kid's get pretty testy in normal families when they start getting to this age  And want to do there own thing ,
   Quit thinking this is out of the ordinary , Ask your self what kid that age would rather hang with friends or be with there super cool parents ,
   My parents liked Hee Haw, and  the Lawrence Welk Show, And I was into AC DC ,Led Zeplin ,Horseback riding ,base ball, soccer and wrestling , My parent's and ther Tv Programs were way to un cool ,


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My experience with teenagers is that you pretty much just
« Reply #3 on: Mar 08, 2006, 02:08:53 PM »
got to back way off.  I was noncustodial mom of a very active teenage son who went to high school and then worked full time after school and on weekends.  Dad lived in a different state.  Son made it pretty clear that working and going to school was his life and he was not into coming to visit, cutting into school activities and work.  You have to be careful not to make them so mad by forcing a visit that they end up hating you.  My youngest son is now 24 and he makes time for mom which is great!  Teens grow up, and they will come back.

My husband is a noncustodial dad of 3 kids, all teenagers.  The oldest child works and hasn't come to visit us in quite a while (different state), but hubbie travels to her city and gets a hotel and will spend a day with her when he can.  


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