This section does not deal with "discovery" as the term is used by attorneys. What we refer to
here relates to information that you find out on your own, not through the legal process of
"discovery".
If you discover things your ex-wife has done that could have an impact on your case (that is, something that
could be held against her), the last thing you want to do is to let her know what you've found.
Lets say (for example) you find out that your ex-wife has forged your signature on a document. DON'T let
her know you've found out about this. Save this information for your attorney, and DON'T tell anyone you
don't trust implicitly about it, either.
If your ex-wife finds out you're aware of her forgery (for example) she'll immediately start working on
an explanation for her actions, and/or "clean up" the situation the best she can. By the time you go to
court, there may not be any evidence left. I cannot stress this too strongly.
It's much better for her to be surprised by your attorney asking about this while she's on the witness
stand- this way she'll have only seconds to think of an excuse or explanation instead of days, weeks or
even months. Also, by keeping her "in the dark" as to what you know, she won't have an opportunity to consult
with her attorney as to the best way to respond to this question or how to minimize the damage.
Be careful when discussing or arguing about anything with your ex-wife, whether on the phone or in person. It's all to
easy to accidentally reveal information that's better kept secret. In the same vein, listen carefully to the
things your ex-wife says- you may discover valuable information from the things she lets slip.
Whatever you do, don't waste the information you discover in a self-righteous argument or "scene" with
her! It may be satisfying in the short-term, but you lose a real advantage you could have had in court or negotiations.
The less your ex knows about what you've found out, the better. Just like on a battlefield,
keeping the element of surprise on your side is vital.
