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Dealing With Opposing Counsel

You probably view your ex's attorney as a dirty, slimy, scum-sucking piece of garbage, whom you wouldn't toss an anvil to if he was sinking in quicksand. This may or may not be a fair assessment. Regardless of how you view your ex's attorney, you should treat him with some respect.

The main reason for this is that your attorney has to deal with him, and if you act like a butt-head it puts your attorney in a more difficult position. You also gain an advantage by conducting yourself in an adult manner, so your ex's attorney can't claim to the court that you're "disrespectful", "difficult to work with", "uncooperative" or some other such nonsense. You don't have to be cordial to him, just civil.

Bear in mind that your ex's attorney is duty-bound to defend your ex to the best of his abilities- that's his job. Chances are the things he does are in fact "nothing personal" against you- it's just what he's paid to do. It's also important to understand that your ex's attorney has only heard her side of things. It's very likely that he's heard a highly distorted version of the events relating to your divorce, and an even more distorted description of you.

If your case gets better (stronger) as things progress, your ex's attorney may feel threatened, and may make more aggressive or offensive moves in an attempt to salvage the case and win at any cost. He may do things that are unethical, or suggest to your ex a course of action that may be illegal or unethical.
Certainly, not all attorneys will do this, but unfortunately some will. It's a fact of life and to think otherwise is both foolish and unrealistic. Be prepared for this and discuss it with your attorney. For example, one tactic that's very popular these days in custody battles is for your spouse to accuse you of sexually abusing your children (child-molestation). If this happens, CONTACT YOUR ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY.

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