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We actually live in NC and they are moving from PA to TX.

Here's what we have placed before her to think about.

She gets the kids every Thanksgiving.

Christmas to be alternated: she gets odd years we get even years starting from the first day of vacation to the last day of vacation.

She gets them every Spring/Easter break.

We get them for 5 wks in the summer


~~ Since she is the one moving from one state to another all over the USA she should pay 75% of the airfare and DH pay 25% of the airfare. If they chose to drive she should drive 75% of the way and dh should drive 25%.

I looked at a couple airlines, looks like it would be easier to fly and by far cheaper to fly them. I just hope that she agrees to this.

BTW this was emailed to her so when we go to court (if for nothing else then to make it a court order instead of a verbal/written agreement) it can be proved that we are working on making this work not trying to start a battle every chance we get.

Thankfully where we live still holds jurisdiction of the children's cases.

Background first:

In 2004 DH and BM went to court about the BM relocating the children out of state over 500 miles (one way) from their home state and town. The Judge at that time decided that the move was allowed and thru that set in motion all the problems.

The kids are SD 8 and SS 6. They live in PA we live in NC. NC still holds jurisdiction over case.

Current Problem:

I received an email from the BM stating that her husband got a job in Texas and she and the kids will be moving from their home in PA to Wisconsin until January. After January she will move the kids down to Texas where their step father is living for however long he has this job.

Because of this move visitation is now put into question. We used to meet halfway which was a 4 hr drive one way for each of us. So meeting wasn't too bad during the Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and Summer visitation times.

But obviously that won't work now because the miles have DOUBLED with her move to Wisconsin and then TRIPLED when she moves the kids to Texas.

It's not realistic for us to expect children to travel for such a long period of time during the shorter holidays (like thanksgiving, christmas and easter) when we only have them for 4 days. Much of their vacation time would be spent traveling.

During the summer when Dh's visitation is longer it would be more realistic to seek/enforce visitation with the kids.  

My questions are:
1) What is a standard interstate visitation arrangement for School aged children?

2)Who generally is expected to pay for the plane tickets ?
(b/c meeting halfway is no longer feaseable it would take too long and in the end cost more then flying)

Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

That is AWESOME!  I am happy that things are working for the better!  

We too have been adviced to C/C every letter or type of written correspondence to the BM's atty also.  I've noticed after only one time of doing this it has started to straighten her tail out! LOL

Congrats to you and your son and have fun skiing!

One more thing,  about your lawyer.  I would fire him and get a lawyer who is willing to fight for you.  

Saying that "that's the life of a divorced father and you will just have to get used to it" just doesn't cut it for me.  Your lawyer is supposed to fight for you, that actually sounds like something I'd expect the BM's attorney to say.

Sounds like the BM gets the kids btwn Dec 20th and 25th this year.  Holiday schedules usually take priority over weekend visitations.  Does it not say that somewhere in the court order?  

As for when enough is enough..... Honestly that isn't up to the BM, the kids, or you.  It's up to your husband.  When he feels like he's tired of getting walked on, crapped on, and beat down he will then stand up and let her and everyone around him know that he's had enough.  No I don't know your husband but I do know you can't make a man do something, like enforce the court ordered visitation if he isn't willing to fight tooth and nail.  It took my husband 3  yrs of getting screwed by the BM over this kind of crap to stand up and say this isn't okay and I'm going to make her follow the court order.  It also helps for you to do what you are doing, back him up and support his decision no matter whether it's one you'd personally make or not.

Yeah we have a similar problem with "reasonable" times to call the kids on the phone.  I guess in the BM's opinion it is NEVER a "reasonable" time.  We call get the voicemail and almost never get a return call.  Last summer the BM had the nerve to ask us to call more often!  I told her very bluntly that we'd call every day to speak to the kids if she'd answer her Freakin phone!  But even after that conversation she still won't answer unless she feels like it.  

I think that you should get the courts to clarify "reasonable visitation".  

Our court order allows for holidays, summer time, etc and one weekend out of the month (we live 8 hrs one way from the kids though)

If you live close to the kids it would be best to have a clarification made though.

If the agreement says he has the kids on the weekend after the holiday then he has them that weekend.  Like another poster said Thanksgiving is on Thursday.

This is a tough one.  I know first hand that when someone promises you this kind of visitation it doesn't always mean they will comply.  It's even harder for you to enforce this because you'd be in the states and she'd be in Denmark.  I would suggest finding a lawyer who will be willing to fight for you and win this battle for you.  If you've only spoke to one lawyer chances are you can find another who will be more willing to work harder for you.  

I wish I had better advice.  But it sounds like without the clarification of "weekends" you can't Make her comply with anything but what she is offering.  Is she the type that will reconsider after she's been given time to cool off?  Sorry and good luck on your court hearing!