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You've always been so great with custody, could you offer some advice on getting a divorce or direct me to where I can get the info.

Married on Dec 30 2003 - separated on March 20 2004 - no kids involved so the separation time only needed to be 6 months.  My friends husband won't sign the papers to make this easy.

1.  What does my friend need to do in order to get her divorce, she's been living in her own apt since March 20 2004.  

2.  What paper work can she file to get he divorce proceedings starting with out a lawyer, she doesn't have the money.

THANKS!!

Dh has full physical and legal custody, with (exact words here) "Mother to have visitation ever other weekend supervised at maternal grandmothers home".  

BM has been really making an attempt to get her life together.  We went back to court a couple of months ago bc she had petitioned for unsupervised visits.  She herself dropped the case bc she couldn't afford an attorney and she didn't have a job, she had just moved back to where we live.  However since then, she still doesn't have a job but is making a attempt to see the boys ever opportunity she can, she's been to games and practices whenever DH and I are there (so it's still supervised).

We understand that it takes time to chance, however she is their mother and as long as she's making the right decisions we dont have a problem with her seeing the boys.  

1.  Since it's stated in the court order that it has to be supervised, if we allow her to take them to McDonalds or the park for an hour or so to give her some one on one time, can we get in trouble for this?

2.  We dont want to do an amendment just yet bc we want to make sure it's going to last, she has a pattern of being good for a little while and then resorting back.  Is there anything we can do to keep it out of court but do a trial basis?  Considering getting into court would be a couple of months anyway.

3.  Any other advice?

THANKS!

I was wrong on what I "thought" (or under the impression of) the court order said.  The exact words were
"every other weekend and 2 days during the week".

Clearly this is not contempt of court as the mother has the right to decide whatever 2 days she chooses since the order is extremely vague.  The mother and my friend have a verbal agreement for Tues and Thurs night.  We went to the court house yesterday and filed a motion to amend a current order, to get the court order to be more specific and not so much on the mothers mercey.  

We also sent the "Notice of Intent to Excersise Visitation" Letter certified to her today.  And the "Denial of Visitation Letter" certified to her today, both of which I got off this site.

1.  Do you suggest anything else?
2.  Have I done the right things?
3.  What if she goes a week without letting him see the child, what should be our next move?
4.  Any other advice?

Again Soc, Thanks, so many of us on this board would be completely lost without you!

On a separate case.  

My friend has joint custody of his son with ex.  the court order states the father (my friend) has visitation "every tues and thurs from 6:00 pm to 9:00 am the next morning".

Last night bc he's moved in with someone else (that he's been with for 3 years) she refused to let the child go.  Well she let him go, then went to his moms before my friend got off work and picked him up when she heard that he and his girlfriend were living together now.

1.  What can we do, can we file contempt of a court order since she refused to let him go when my friend called her later?

2.  What would be the best course of action for us since she's refusing tomorrows visitation as well since he's living with his girlfriend?

My DH and I have physical and legal custody of my 2 step sons.  The BM has supervised visitation at her mothers house.  The BM comes and goes most of the time not seeing the boys on her weekends.  

1.  She's constantly bringing new boyfriends around the boys when she does come in town, is there any way we can make it so there's not a continual parade of different men?

2.  The house (which the GAL never visited) in which her mother lives and the BM visits to see the boys has dog poop everywhere and the boys dont have their own bed, they sleep in recliners, can we move the supervised visitation to a more suitable location?

3.  BM has taken us back to court several times to get her unsupervised visits, everytime pissing the judge off!  Can't we avoid going to court every other month when her circumstances that got the custody and visitation taken away in the first place haven't changed?

4.  She has not job but we are going for child support, I know through DCSE the state minimum is $65 per month, but is this for both children or is it per child?

thanks!

Background - My husband and I recently (Sept 30) got full physical and legal custody of my 2 step sons.   Now to clarify the CO states "the father is to have sole legal and physical custody", so it does not mention me. We declared the BM unfit and the judge recommended supervised visitation for her with her mother.  Her mother had custody of the children before us.  These boys have been switched around from family to family to the point where the courts are tired of seeing us.

My husband and I got married on June 26th before the custody hearing.  He husband has now left me and the kids (the kids are still with me) and not been home since Thursday, nor has he talked to the kids.  I've since found out he's been staying at BM's house, I guess with the hopes to get back together.

1.  How long do you have to walk away before you can get someone for abandonment?

2.  Since the GAL and the judge declared BM unfit, won't it be bad for my DH if he's trying to get back wiht her and take the kids around her?

3.  What are the chances for me to get custody of these kids, I can prove that I'm the one that takes care of them and that I have full custody of my daughter.  I know you dont like working with "chances" but has it been done before?

4.  What is the next move?  

You helped us get full legal and physical custody of my 2 step sons. Ok now there's becoming an issue.  BM has supervised visitation ONLY with her mother.  BM called yesterday and has told us she's moved to Maryland, ok with us but that she's coming in town to go to court (unrelated) on Thurs and wants to see the kids.  

1.  If we let her see them at our house thats still going against CO right?  So we could get into trouble?

2.  OSS has a skate night on Thurs night and she' talking about going up there, this again is breaking CO right?

3.  Courts ordered her to pay CS to her mother while her mother had custody, nwo that we have custody does the CS come to us or do we all need to go back to court for CS?
thanks!

Soc I just want to say thank you for all your advise and time!  

We had court yesterday and we were asking for physical custody of my 2 step sons from the grandma and thanks to your continued advice we got full physical and legal custody!!!  

Oh and BM only gets supervised visitation!!

AGAIN THANK YOU!! Your time on this board has been a blessing!

Facts:
Maternal Grandma has physical custody of my to step sons.  BM and my DH have joint custody.  Grandma has had physical custody for about a year when BM gave it to her and DH was out of the country and wasn't in a position to have full custody.  He has been fighting for the last 9 months to get physical custody.

The GAL came and did a home study of myself and DH and has told us that she is going to recommend we get physical custody.  Grandma isn't fighting us, and was very clear with the GAL about that, but she doesn't want her family to be against her so she is letting the courts give them to us, persay.  

1.  If we get physical custody tomorrow can grandma ask for visitation?  Right now DH and BM get visitation.

2.  Whats the difference between us having physical with BM and DH having joint and us just having complete full custody?

3.  Anything else you can help me out with court tomorrow??

THANKS!

DH and I are fighting for physical custody of OSS (5) and YSS (3 1/2).  We are in VA and the current custody order states BM and DH have joint custody and grandma has physical custody.  

The GAL did a home study on this week and was very clear on her intentions and recommendations, that she was going to recommend to the judge that we get full custody.  And that BM get supervised visits only.  She saw how BM had coached the boys on what to say and again was very clear on what she was going to say to the judge.

Last night we found out more about BM that BM just this week let YSS sleep in the bed with her and her new boyfriend of a month.  And that she again coached OSS not to tell us.  YSS also informed us he was in a bar Wed night watching his papa sing and played some games (this is a very very low class place).  I have called and left the GAL a message with all this.

1.  Is there anything else I can do besides tell the GAL.

2.  Is it unlikely for a judge to go against a GAL's recommendations (I know you don't like to speculate, but I'm asking majority of cases.)

3.  Since we filed for an amendment to a current order for physical custody and not full legal custody but now new information has come to light and the GAL thinks that BM is unfit to have them unsupervised is there anyway to amend the petion we filed without getting another court date?
thanks!