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Will someone please tell me how to post on socrateasers board? I'm serious. Everyone says to post there, but no one has told me how. Is he somewhere on this site? Is there a link here on a certain page? Is it some other site? Please let me know. Thanks

Thank you for your feedback. How do I post on Socrateasers board? When I dropped off my daughter yesterday, her mom asked me if I had signed the temporary orders she had given me. I told her that I had not and that I would not sign over complete custody and control of my daughter to her. She immediately got upset and defensive and said that they were only temporary. I said that even if they are "Temporary" which, nothing is really temporary, I would not even start to do that. I asked her if I was to want comlete control and custody, would she sign the papers? Obviously she said no so, I told her that it's not fair for her to ask me to do that when she would never do that. She got so upset that she said if I want to talk about this any further that I would need a lawyer. I asked her why she is being like this? I told her that if she would just cool out a little bit, we could make this work without running to the courts snitching on eachother and having a war with my Daughter in the middle. She finally calmed down and said that she wants me to have my girl every-other weekend instead of every weekend and that I could still have her on Wednesdays. I said that I would be okay with that. I said, "See, if we both just stop trying to screw eachother and work together in the interest of my daughter, everybody will get what they deserve and everyone will be happy. Most importantly, my Daughter will be happy because her parents aren't at eachother's throats all of the time.

Thank you all for your advice and input. I do appreciate it. I may seem a little hard headed when I ask the questions I ask. I understand that the way a person says something, can determine how it is received from others. Please understand that when I ask questions like these, I am merely wanting to understand the issues at hand. I do have an appointment today with a Divorce Lawyer. Supposedly the best in town. I am banking on that fact. One question though, my ex MIL is the para-legal for my Ex wife's lawyer. Isn't that a conflict of interest? He was our lawyer when we filed for bankruptcy. I will find out later today from my lawyer most likely. Just wondering. I do understand that waiting for a fairy to come and fix my life is not going to happen. I know that we have started a ball rolling that will not change it's course. I just have a real hard time with the fact that some of you are saying that I abandoned my family. I could understand it if I had split and never stayed in contact with her. But, I do have contact with her. I see my Daughter on Wednesday nights after I get out of school, then when I get off of work on Saturdays, I go and pick up my Daughter and keep her until Monday morning when I take her to daycare. I have not just up and left my family. I was told, by my ex, that she was filing for divorce, would wait to file to give me some time to get on my feet and get a roomate. I think she expected me to stay there as long as I could and drag my feet in an attempt to keep our marriage alive. Beleive me, that was my first thought! After a couple of days of thinking real hard on it, I made the decision to go ahead and get an apartment because my boss' grandma would let me move in right then without paying her the rent and deposit upfront. I could stay and be resented by my ex and her mom for delaying, or I could start to take care of myself and look out for my best interest and not wait until she decided to kick me out with nothing, when the apartment would already be rented out. As I stated earlier in this message, we filed bankruptcy, so I don't have credit or the ability to get it at this time. I don't think that she is really going to try and completely keep my Daughter from me because of the damage it will do to my Daughter, I do however believ that she will do everything in her power to make sure that she has all of the control in this situation. And that is what scares me the most. I have seen what she does when I give her power. In the past it was, You willl do this or that or you have lost your family. Then when I did exactly what she wanted, she came up with more demands. Then when I would comply to those demands, she came up with more! She is one of those women are oppressed people that have to control people to make themselves feel good about themselves or that they are worth more than others because they have a position of power and control. That is scary! Sorry for the novel, but I just needed to get this out there. Thanks

Would you help pay for a divorce that you didn't want? I'm wondering because I have never been in this position before and don't know the "Etiquette" involved in divorce.

Okay, she hasn't actually filed because she asked me to help her pay for it. I was mistaken before. I am really pretty sure that she will not accuse me of any abuse. About the abandonment issue, I am very disturbed by this because I would never leave my family. The reason I left, was because I was in a position where my wife had told me she wanted to end our marriage, and I was living in her mom's house, and was totally uncomfortable. It was a place where the woman I had gave my life to for the past 8 years, hated me and would whisper and get quiet when I was around. My ex mom in law systematically destroyed my marriage to her daughter. Could any of you be in a position like that and want to stay there? Would you stay there? In regards to my son, I was 17 when he was born. I was definitely not ready for parenting, and had no clue what my rights were as a Father. Now, his mom controls everything and when he starts to come around and starts to enjoy himself at my house, she takes him away again and won't let me see him. I sure know how to pick them don't I?

I left because she wanted me out. Is that still abandonment? I live in Kansas. She has already filed for the divorce. I just haven't signed the papers.

I was told about a month ago by my wife that she was going to file for divorce. She quickly told me that she wasn't going to file for a while so that I would have time to get on my feet. We made it for 5 years on our own before moving into her mom's house a year and a half ago. I kept asking her to leave with me and get our own place. She always balked at the idea after acting as if she was wanting to be a free standing family again. So, a week later, I found my own place. I only work 20 hours a week because I am a full time student. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together that was completely born with love. My little girl is a "Daddy's Girl!" Knowing how much I love this child, my wife decides 2 weeks after telling me was going to wait a while to file, telss me that she has papers for me to sign. She tried to get me to sign the papers as soon as I saw her. I declined. After reviewing the "Temporary Orders" she had drawn up by her mom, the paralegal for my wifes lawyer, I was astounded to read that the orders were that I would sign over sole custody and control of my daughter. Also that I would have visitation rights. I am not a visitor! I contributed to this childs life, financially and more importantly, her conception. My wife would not have this beautiful little girl if it were't for me! Now she wants to treat me like a criminal and punish me because she wants a divorce? I am already in a position where I don't get to see my 13 year old son because his mom has the state of Colorado on her side. I do not want to be pushed out of another childs life! Especially, because it took me 3 1/2 years before I got my wife pregnant. I wanted to make sure that she would always be my wife and love me because I would not be in this position again. Goes to show you that people can completely fake a person out by acting a certain way for so many years. Anybody ever heard of BTK? She doesn't seem any different than him with acting a certain way but harboring a deep secret that everything says and does is a lie. I will not sign over sole custody! I will ot let her control me anymore! I will not let her drive me away from the only person in this world that still loves me! The only one that I truly love. My daughter.