My daughter's mother has enrolled her in an incredibly expensive language school for daycare. I filed for custody a few months ago because out of no where she stopped letting me see my daughter (please note I have been the one to raise my daughter 75% of the time, so this came out of nowhere). She has told me she has filed for child support in her new home state (only been there 3 months). My question is if I am made to pay child support will I have any say in the daycare my daughter is in? If I were ordered to pay half of this it would be over half of my monthly income gone just to daycare. There is no need for her to be in this expensive place (right now her grandmother is paying for it because her mother cannot afford it). When she was with me, her aunt watched her and she only had to be there 5 hours a day.
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#2
Dear Socrateaser / BM commiting Medicaid Fraud
Nov 15, 2006, 10:31:15 AM
Hello,
I am not sure if you remember my story, but I am a father who was recently granted primary physical, joint legal of my child. I have had her on my insurance for the past 2 years. BM has continually refused to use this (in emails) and continues to use medicaid for her. Even now after I received custody, BM just took our daughter to same doctor this week with Medicaid. I told BM weeks ago that I would like to switch her doctor to one near my home that accepts my insurance and asked again for her to please stop using medicaid.
1. Is she commiting Medicaid Fraud?
2. Should I contact someone about this (Medicaid office directly and ask them to stop coverage and explain situation)?
3. If I report this, even though BM has refused to use my insurance, would I be required to reimburse the state?
4. If BM is found guilty of Medicaid Fraud would this help me at our appeal trial (by reducing credibility)?
I am not sure if you remember my story, but I am a father who was recently granted primary physical, joint legal of my child. I have had her on my insurance for the past 2 years. BM has continually refused to use this (in emails) and continues to use medicaid for her. Even now after I received custody, BM just took our daughter to same doctor this week with Medicaid. I told BM weeks ago that I would like to switch her doctor to one near my home that accepts my insurance and asked again for her to please stop using medicaid.
1. Is she commiting Medicaid Fraud?
2. Should I contact someone about this (Medicaid office directly and ask them to stop coverage and explain situation)?
3. If I report this, even though BM has refused to use my insurance, would I be required to reimburse the state?
4. If BM is found guilty of Medicaid Fraud would this help me at our appeal trial (by reducing credibility)?
#3
Dear Socrateaser / Child Support Question
Nov 10, 2006, 11:07:24 AM
At my custody trial in which I won custody, there was not enough time to hear the child support case, so our trial date for that is in March 2007.
1. Will the judge order BM to pay CS from the date I was awarded custody (October 2006), or from March 2007?
1. Will the judge order BM to pay CS from the date I was awarded custody (October 2006), or from March 2007?
#4
Dear Socrateaser / I won my case, now found out BM is appealing
Nov 10, 2006, 10:32:52 AM
Hello,
I am a father who won custody of my 4 year old daughter 3 weeks ago (primary residential and joint legal). I wrote to you before my trial several times over the past year. Needless to say I am overjoyed with the results! I just found out BM appealed the ruling. Our trial was heard in the Juvenile and Domestic Relations court, so I was told by my attorney that the appeal would be a whole new trial, essentially a "do-over" in the Circuit Court. My daughter is with me now under the court order and is enrolled in preschool.
I am very nervous about this because I had an excellent judge last time, very unbiased who went strictly by the best-interest of the child standard her in VA. I am worried what if I am not as lucky next time. I am $22,000 in the whole from the first trial and have no idea how I will afford an appeal.
1. Do you have any idea how successful these types of appeals are?
2. In our court order it says both parties are entitled to daily phone contact with the child when she is not in their care. BM has not picked up her phone or allowed me to speak to our daughter once since court when she is with her every other weekend. I have our daughter call her every single day. Is this contempt of court by her not allowing me to speak with our daughter?
3. Since our daughter will have been at my home for several months (I am assuming the trial wouldn't be for awhile), would whis help my chances of winning again as well?
I am a father who won custody of my 4 year old daughter 3 weeks ago (primary residential and joint legal). I wrote to you before my trial several times over the past year. Needless to say I am overjoyed with the results! I just found out BM appealed the ruling. Our trial was heard in the Juvenile and Domestic Relations court, so I was told by my attorney that the appeal would be a whole new trial, essentially a "do-over" in the Circuit Court. My daughter is with me now under the court order and is enrolled in preschool.
I am very nervous about this because I had an excellent judge last time, very unbiased who went strictly by the best-interest of the child standard her in VA. I am worried what if I am not as lucky next time. I am $22,000 in the whole from the first trial and have no idea how I will afford an appeal.
1. Do you have any idea how successful these types of appeals are?
2. In our court order it says both parties are entitled to daily phone contact with the child when she is not in their care. BM has not picked up her phone or allowed me to speak to our daughter once since court when she is with her every other weekend. I have our daughter call her every single day. Is this contempt of court by her not allowing me to speak with our daughter?
3. Since our daughter will have been at my home for several months (I am assuming the trial wouldn't be for awhile), would whis help my chances of winning again as well?
#5
Dear Socrateaser / BM making false claim of domestic violence in Discovery
Aug 23, 2006, 07:44:43 AM
BM finally turned in her discovery and I received it yesterday. I couldn't beleive what I was reading. Her main claim as to why she should receive custody is because I was "Physically abusive to her in front of our daughter" and I am "aggressive". This is completley false!
She was extremely physically and verbally abusive in our relationship. She would scratch me, pinch me, kick me, spit in my face and hit me. I never layed a hand on her except to push her off of me when I was being attacked. She has even physically attacked my mother and my younger sister when she was living with me. I can't beleive she is trying to turn this abuse around on me.
She is also claiming that I hit my current wife and under the section for witnesses she is bringing her best friend who claims she has seen me hit my wife. This is so ridiculous and stressful. Her "friend" has seen me and my wife together twice (once at my daughters birthday party, and once recently when I dropped my daughter off with her mom) both for a period of 5 minutes. She also stated that her friend received phone calls from her (BM) when we were together of her crying as I hit her and she has seen the bruises. I can't beleive her friend would lie like this.
BM stated she has no reason to believe I am abusive towards our daughter but she worries that as our daughter gets older and more independent I may abuse her because I am "too possesive". There are several other lies as well, but this is the one of main concern because it is a serious false accusation.
1. What can I do to prove these allegations false since she is bringing a "witness" who is going to lie about seeing this?
2. Will my wife testifying that I have never lied a hand on her help?
3. Will my family testfying that she was in fact the aggressor help at all?
4. How else can I prove these allegations false?
She was extremely physically and verbally abusive in our relationship. She would scratch me, pinch me, kick me, spit in my face and hit me. I never layed a hand on her except to push her off of me when I was being attacked. She has even physically attacked my mother and my younger sister when she was living with me. I can't beleive she is trying to turn this abuse around on me.
She is also claiming that I hit my current wife and under the section for witnesses she is bringing her best friend who claims she has seen me hit my wife. This is so ridiculous and stressful. Her "friend" has seen me and my wife together twice (once at my daughters birthday party, and once recently when I dropped my daughter off with her mom) both for a period of 5 minutes. She also stated that her friend received phone calls from her (BM) when we were together of her crying as I hit her and she has seen the bruises. I can't beleive her friend would lie like this.
BM stated she has no reason to believe I am abusive towards our daughter but she worries that as our daughter gets older and more independent I may abuse her because I am "too possesive". There are several other lies as well, but this is the one of main concern because it is a serious false accusation.
1. What can I do to prove these allegations false since she is bringing a "witness" who is going to lie about seeing this?
2. Will my wife testifying that I have never lied a hand on her help?
3. Will my family testfying that she was in fact the aggressor help at all?
4. How else can I prove these allegations false?
#6
Dear Socrateaser / Daycare Choice
May 11, 2006, 10:43:40 AM
Dear Soc,
BM took daughter from my home in Jan. where she was living 75% of the time and moved with her 40 miles away. She refused to let me see her and I was finally able to get a temp visitation order for every other weekend. We were never married and there were never any court orders.
I think may be an issue of jeoulousy because I am newly married and have a new son.
I have filed for primary physical and joint legal custody.
When BM moved she put my daughter in a Russian preschool. (this is where her family is from) and stated "me and my mother decided this is best for her". I was not consulted at all. The school is taught entirly in Russian.
My questions are:
1. If I lose my case and am made to pay child support, will I have to pay for part of this?
The reason I question if I would or not is because it is not necessary, I was given no say and it is something her mother and grandmother put her in so she could learn their language.
2. The tuition for this school is extremly high. If I am made to pay child support could I request that she be put in a daycare with a more reasonable tuition rate?
BM took daughter from my home in Jan. where she was living 75% of the time and moved with her 40 miles away. She refused to let me see her and I was finally able to get a temp visitation order for every other weekend. We were never married and there were never any court orders.
I think may be an issue of jeoulousy because I am newly married and have a new son.
I have filed for primary physical and joint legal custody.
When BM moved she put my daughter in a Russian preschool. (this is where her family is from) and stated "me and my mother decided this is best for her". I was not consulted at all. The school is taught entirly in Russian.
My questions are:
1. If I lose my case and am made to pay child support, will I have to pay for part of this?
The reason I question if I would or not is because it is not necessary, I was given no say and it is something her mother and grandmother put her in so she could learn their language.
2. The tuition for this school is extremly high. If I am made to pay child support could I request that she be put in a daycare with a more reasonable tuition rate?
#7
Dear Socrateaser / Help with dental question?
May 04, 2006, 10:04:07 AM
I have written to you before but just to give you a quck background:
I am in the middle of a custody battle with my ex (we were never married) for my 4 year old daughter. She is refusing me all contact and all information related to my daughter. I was able to get temp. visitation of every other weekend, but ex will not allow me to speak to, see, or give me any information about daughter's school, appointments, etc.
My daughter had a dentist appointment scheduled for Sat. (she is under my insurance) to get two cavities filled. I got a call from the dentist to day saying my ex had called and moved the appointment to tomorrow mid-day and was that ok. I told them no, to please leave it for Saturday (The only reason they called me for permission is because I told them when I created the account to please inform me of all changes and appointments made without my knowledge).
I them called BM and asked why she did this and informed her that I told them to leave the appointment as was. She proceeded to cuss me out and told me that she would then find a different dentist who was willing to do the work tomorrow and hung up.
I received a call back and she told me she had made an apoointment for tomorrow. I asked her for the location and she hung up. I followed up by sending her an email with the same request.
Questions:
1. What should I do? Can a dentist fix cavities on a child they have never seen before? I thought the procedure was you first have to go for a check-up and then they schedule a later date for the cavity filling?
2. I told her in the email that any appt. that is made that is out of network with my insurance and I am not made aware of, I would not pay for. Can she make me pay for this? There is no court order yet.
3. Should I call around some dentists in the area and try to locate where she is taking her or just leave it alone?
I am in the middle of a custody battle with my ex (we were never married) for my 4 year old daughter. She is refusing me all contact and all information related to my daughter. I was able to get temp. visitation of every other weekend, but ex will not allow me to speak to, see, or give me any information about daughter's school, appointments, etc.
My daughter had a dentist appointment scheduled for Sat. (she is under my insurance) to get two cavities filled. I got a call from the dentist to day saying my ex had called and moved the appointment to tomorrow mid-day and was that ok. I told them no, to please leave it for Saturday (The only reason they called me for permission is because I told them when I created the account to please inform me of all changes and appointments made without my knowledge).
I them called BM and asked why she did this and informed her that I told them to leave the appointment as was. She proceeded to cuss me out and told me that she would then find a different dentist who was willing to do the work tomorrow and hung up.
I received a call back and she told me she had made an apoointment for tomorrow. I asked her for the location and she hung up. I followed up by sending her an email with the same request.
Questions:
1. What should I do? Can a dentist fix cavities on a child they have never seen before? I thought the procedure was you first have to go for a check-up and then they schedule a later date for the cavity filling?
2. I told her in the email that any appt. that is made that is out of network with my insurance and I am not made aware of, I would not pay for. Can she make me pay for this? There is no court order yet.
3. Should I call around some dentists in the area and try to locate where she is taking her or just leave it alone?
#8
Dear Socrateaser / Increased summer visitation prior to trial
Apr 26, 2006, 06:46:35 AM
Hello, I am currently in a custody battle for for 4 year old daughter. I am her father. Our hearing is not until October. My daughter was taken from me by her mother in January 2006 when her mother moved from VA to MD and I was refused all contact with her. I live in VA and this is where my daughter lived her whole life.
I went to court and got and got temporary visitation, but unfortunatly I was only awarded every other weekend. My daughter went from being at my house almost every single day for her entire life to now only being able to see me every other weekend.
Here is a little background on my story:
My daughter is 4.
My daughter's mother and I were never married, we had been dating since our teens. Once my daughter was born her mother was quick to resume her partying lifestyle. I was always there for my daughter. We broke up when she was 18 months old at which point she moved to her mothers house in MD and refused to let me spend time with my daughter for two months.
After two months, she moved back to VA and she came to my home and dropped my daughter off and said "here you deal with her now". My daughter lived with me for six months and her mom would come visit her at my house every once in awhile. At this point I told her mother I was going to take her to court for custody and she quickly began spending more time with our daughter.
We worked out a verbal agreement in which we would have our daughter equally. This didn't last because she quickly began calling me on her scheduled days to take care of our daughter because she wanted to go out. I have always been there for my daughter and put her first.
I got married about a year ago and I now have a son. My daughter's mom (BM) never used to have a problem with my wife being with our daughter, in fact she frequently would call her when I was at work and ask her to watch her daughter. Me and my wife were the ones who always picked herup from the babysitter.
When my wife went on maternity leave last year she also began watching my daughter every day. So my daughter was at my house almost every single day. When it was her mom's scheduled day she would pick her up around 8:00pm.
Well out of nowhere in January BM said she was moving to MD (45 minutes away). We had a verbal agreement to switch off week by week so we could each spend equal time with our daughter, well once she got my daughter she called me and told me she and her mother had decided to enroll my daughter into a russian preschool (they are russian) and I could now only see my daughter on the weekends.
I decided at that time I would file for custody because I refused to be a weekend visitor in my child's life. Well the first weekend came around and she called on Friday and told me I needed to give her my daughter's social security card and birth certificate and i told her I would gladly make her copies or fax them where ever she needed them to go, but I would not give her the originals (my lawyer advised me not to).
From this point on she refused to let me see my daughter at all. I would drive to Maryland every week trying to see my daughter. I took quick action and filed for temp. visitation. We got a trial date two months later and I was given every other weekend.
BM refuses to provide me with any information what so ever regarding my daughter, she will not tell me where her daycare is, when her doctors appts. are or anything. She won't even allow my daughter to speak with me in the phone.
It is really wrong and hurtful what she is doing to my daughter. How can someone put a child through this just because of their own anger. She is hurting my daughter so much. My daughter crys when she has to go back with her mom every time. My daughter went from seeing me almost every single day to not being able to see me hardly at all. I believe one of the reasons she is doing this is simply jealousy over the fact that I am married and have another child.
I have filed for primary physical and joint legal custody. As much as BM has put me through, if I do win, and if BM decides to move back to VA I would be willing to work out a 50/50 arrangement with her, because my daughter deserves that and I will not let my own anger get in the way as she has.
Questions:
1. I am filing a motion for increased summer visitation since our trial isn't until Oct. I am asking for every other week (all 7 days) during the summer. Does this sound like something the judge would agree to? BM is going to try to saythat since daughter is in preschool in MD she can't come to my house during the week.
2. BM is using medicaid for my daughter's insurance, but my daughter has been covered under my new jobs insurance for over a year and it is excellent. I have asked her to please stop using medicaid and to use my insurance but she refuses. I do not want to end up getting in trouble with the state for this and having to reimburse. Should I call medicaid myself and notify them them my daughter no has other insurance?
3. BM refuse to tell me ANYTHING about my daughter. She does not inform me of any medical appts. or sicknesses. My daughter even got a neurology referral recently which I was not made aware of. Is withholding all this information something that will be bad for her in court?
4. BM will never let me talk to my daughter. She doesn't pick up when I call and doesn't have my daughter call me. Is phone contact something I can ask for at the summer visitation hearing?
Thank you
I went to court and got and got temporary visitation, but unfortunatly I was only awarded every other weekend. My daughter went from being at my house almost every single day for her entire life to now only being able to see me every other weekend.
Here is a little background on my story:
My daughter is 4.
My daughter's mother and I were never married, we had been dating since our teens. Once my daughter was born her mother was quick to resume her partying lifestyle. I was always there for my daughter. We broke up when she was 18 months old at which point she moved to her mothers house in MD and refused to let me spend time with my daughter for two months.
After two months, she moved back to VA and she came to my home and dropped my daughter off and said "here you deal with her now". My daughter lived with me for six months and her mom would come visit her at my house every once in awhile. At this point I told her mother I was going to take her to court for custody and she quickly began spending more time with our daughter.
We worked out a verbal agreement in which we would have our daughter equally. This didn't last because she quickly began calling me on her scheduled days to take care of our daughter because she wanted to go out. I have always been there for my daughter and put her first.
I got married about a year ago and I now have a son. My daughter's mom (BM) never used to have a problem with my wife being with our daughter, in fact she frequently would call her when I was at work and ask her to watch her daughter. Me and my wife were the ones who always picked herup from the babysitter.
When my wife went on maternity leave last year she also began watching my daughter every day. So my daughter was at my house almost every single day. When it was her mom's scheduled day she would pick her up around 8:00pm.
Well out of nowhere in January BM said she was moving to MD (45 minutes away). We had a verbal agreement to switch off week by week so we could each spend equal time with our daughter, well once she got my daughter she called me and told me she and her mother had decided to enroll my daughter into a russian preschool (they are russian) and I could now only see my daughter on the weekends.
I decided at that time I would file for custody because I refused to be a weekend visitor in my child's life. Well the first weekend came around and she called on Friday and told me I needed to give her my daughter's social security card and birth certificate and i told her I would gladly make her copies or fax them where ever she needed them to go, but I would not give her the originals (my lawyer advised me not to).
From this point on she refused to let me see my daughter at all. I would drive to Maryland every week trying to see my daughter. I took quick action and filed for temp. visitation. We got a trial date two months later and I was given every other weekend.
BM refuses to provide me with any information what so ever regarding my daughter, she will not tell me where her daycare is, when her doctors appts. are or anything. She won't even allow my daughter to speak with me in the phone.
It is really wrong and hurtful what she is doing to my daughter. How can someone put a child through this just because of their own anger. She is hurting my daughter so much. My daughter crys when she has to go back with her mom every time. My daughter went from seeing me almost every single day to not being able to see me hardly at all. I believe one of the reasons she is doing this is simply jealousy over the fact that I am married and have another child.
I have filed for primary physical and joint legal custody. As much as BM has put me through, if I do win, and if BM decides to move back to VA I would be willing to work out a 50/50 arrangement with her, because my daughter deserves that and I will not let my own anger get in the way as she has.
Questions:
1. I am filing a motion for increased summer visitation since our trial isn't until Oct. I am asking for every other week (all 7 days) during the summer. Does this sound like something the judge would agree to? BM is going to try to saythat since daughter is in preschool in MD she can't come to my house during the week.
2. BM is using medicaid for my daughter's insurance, but my daughter has been covered under my new jobs insurance for over a year and it is excellent. I have asked her to please stop using medicaid and to use my insurance but she refuses. I do not want to end up getting in trouble with the state for this and having to reimburse. Should I call medicaid myself and notify them them my daughter no has other insurance?
3. BM refuse to tell me ANYTHING about my daughter. She does not inform me of any medical appts. or sicknesses. My daughter even got a neurology referral recently which I was not made aware of. Is withholding all this information something that will be bad for her in court?
4. BM will never let me talk to my daughter. She doesn't pick up when I call and doesn't have my daughter call me. Is phone contact something I can ask for at the summer visitation hearing?
Thank you
#9
Father's Issues / I won my case!
Nov 07, 2006, 10:14:21 AM
Hello,
I posted on here a few months ago with questions about my custody trial. I won my case 3 weeks ago! I am so overjoyed. The judge saw right through BM's lies and manipulation. I now have primary physical and joint legal. The bad news is I just found out last week that BM appealled. So since our case was heard in the JDR court, this next trial will be a whole new trial in Circuit Court. I am very nervous about this because what if I don't get such a great, unbiased judge this time?
My daughter is living with me now and going to preschool here so hopefully having this status quo will help. BM shows no signs of changing her manipulating, lying ways and is already claiming I don't allow our daughter to speak with her and never call her, when in fact I call her EVERY SINGLE DAY for my daughter to speak with her. My phone bills will easily show this.
I posted on here a few months ago with questions about my custody trial. I won my case 3 weeks ago! I am so overjoyed. The judge saw right through BM's lies and manipulation. I now have primary physical and joint legal. The bad news is I just found out last week that BM appealled. So since our case was heard in the JDR court, this next trial will be a whole new trial in Circuit Court. I am very nervous about this because what if I don't get such a great, unbiased judge this time?
My daughter is living with me now and going to preschool here so hopefully having this status quo will help. BM shows no signs of changing her manipulating, lying ways and is already claiming I don't allow our daughter to speak with her and never call her, when in fact I call her EVERY SINGLE DAY for my daughter to speak with her. My phone bills will easily show this.
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