Subject: Don't answer that
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,! he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him." The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."
That went good with my coffee this morning!
that has to be one of the funniest things I've read lately! Is that just a joke or did it really happen? If this woman really does exist I'd love to meet her she sounds like my kind of gal!
It's a joke. However it's not surprising that anyone would ask.
Hey I've heard some truely funny things actually happen in court that had me laughing. I wouldn't have been too supprised if it really did happen. Especally if that took place in a small town like the one I'm in. Some of the comments I have heard from the judge here, although true I can't believe she gets away with it. In my friends case she told her ex to "Grow-up-already! Quit whinning like a baby! Get- a- job-and -become-a-man!" In the context of the situation soo true yet so funny to have a judge say that. I think she was fustraited and tired of the case in general. (and you know what he actually did)