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Ok I was screwed , Now at trial the judge asked for case laW OR A LAW THAT permits retro active child support adjustment , trial resumes monday , If any one has any case law to permit that .or knowledge please post , Please for now only post pertinant infoe this is for trial monday ,As A note for those of you that have read my posts about the psycho ,And her MANY ALLEGATIONS, she has shown at trial with no witnesss, Wow what a wierd deal , !! What a relief , I visioned her tryting to bring up a bunch of trumped up witnesses , My atty and I think this is a bit odd , will post later So far trial is good , Really nothing to argue since she hasn't brought a single witness ,Well please try to keep posts that pertain to wash state law for temp child support orders

I have been through this whole thing , the first thing you need to do is post what state you are from , the types of papers you file from state to state will vary ,So You need the right information , And You will see your son !!! I went through the same thing , I made some mistakes along the way , I could write a book but I will keep it short as far as what happened , And what Is likely to happen for You ,
    First All this will be concerning washington state , All things i list are what happened to me ,
        Child born out of wedlock , File motion for establishment of paternity [this is your only chance ] If this is not your child then By what You said you will want out of this if it is not your son ,
    Or bypass that and file a ,parenting plan , [repost] about parenting plans [your state]
     You just need to get it filed
 then You will get the results : She will be likely to make up some allegations like you are a stalker, pedophile, Abuser,  
    If not .you are home free take the parenting plan you get at first , It won't be much. like a couple hours per week , Likely to be supervised , If you don't have money start thinking of a perrson that will supervise,
    If her allegations make a stir,, don't get excited !!! this from here on out will be standard procedure ,
     I am putting this in simmple form, so it is the highly edited version
      Wash state : Standard procedure is to get a Guardian ad Litem appointed by the court ;
     ORDER APPOINTING GUARDIAN AD LITEM ON BEHALF OF MINOR CHILD ;
   THEN ;You will talk to the GAL , Keep cool ;as a man Your bad before you start , Thinking back : I advise :don't bitch about her just say you want to see your son :
    That was one of the smartest things I ever did before a commissioner :
  the commissioner asked her atty "what is she saying ?
   Her atty "bla bla bad guy bla bla "
    commissioner : is there a GAL report? yes
   GAL report say's her allegations don't check out "
   [  the GAL report has to be filed with the court before they will do anything , ]
    Commissioner : What is DAd saying :
      My atty : [forgot ) half my stuff  I told him I just want to see My son
     My atty teels commissioner what I said
       Commissioner smiled at me "
     Her atty: dads a bad guy Bla bla bla "
    commissioner : what's dad saying again
     My atty : he wants to see his son
   commissioner: smiles "what does he want :
      My atty : Asked me what I want ; Atty was even trying to minimise my time ; I tolsd My atty "You work for me tell them I want EVERY WEEKEND"
   Commissioner that doesn't work
     My atty , think of something else
    Me: I am self employed, Every Tuesday so I can take son to a interactive parenting class ' And every other weekend and every other thursday .
  Commissioner "OK"
   So I have an ok plan but
    First you have to have the GAL report in in this state or they wont do any thing . And Previous to this I had to go through PAID supervised visits , But people that don't have money Have other alternatives , YOU have to have the alternative ready , Use some one from your side though or a neutral friend to both of you , the court wouldn't be likely to have one of her relatives do it so don't try , You are going to go through a process , the only way thiswill work is to Go through with it ,
     the help in wash state is located believe it or not at the child support office , ask them for a community help booklet or pamplet, here they have some out dated info But be persistant in calling the numbers with a pen and note pad ready , You will get to a low cost or no cost legal aid group , It will be most likely to be for women , BUT it is legal aid for the unemployed and they can help or point you in the right direction ,
   Next call the court house , there may be court house facilitaters ; I did not get any where with them and hired an atty , next
  ask the court house if they have a night that atty's help pro se  or pro bono litigants , or in other words self representing litigants go there stand in line they help when they get to you
   next call youir state BAr association ask for a list of atty's that help  pro se litigants, and or any info they have about any self help info on the internet , You could very likely find some one on the sparc site that is from your state that will help you the paper work isn't complicated ; this site has an area that is for pro se litigants , with a state by state guide of what to file , click on the drop down menue up above ,
    remmember stay calm when you talk to all these people , and write down what they say be persistant , And make sure you get the info right , they don't care about the particulars , I have learned through this process that all this is run of the mill crap it seems very frustrating at first , But this is the process and you are in it now , the cooler you are through out the better you will fare , If the woman is the typical vendictive bitch she will try to push your buttons and make up any thing she can [My expierience ) DON'T  react ot any thing any accusation or admit anything , Unless she has proof like a picure a witness a police report , the psycho in my case has pulled every cheap shot she can , I simply asked a few people questions and ran into people that know her by chance , she made this out to be a BIG deal , don't even ask or tell any one on her side any thing , UNLESS it is for sure a crime or proveable , And is a detriment to the childs well being and puts the child in harms way other then that , all personal affairs don't effect the child except like e relationship with a convicted pedophile or active drug user or something ,except for the pedophile there isn't much to really get any where , first just get an order for visits then stay cool ,

   My email [email protected]
    I went through exactly what you are about to get into stay cool !!! this is same shit different guy to the court ,,don't engauge don't fight fire with fire , You are now John boy walton period ,

If She called your cell phone then You should have a record of the call on Your billing , I would keep that record , You may want to show it to the judge , If this goes all the way to trial , I have watched a couple trials,Some of the questions asked at trial are like , Did you call the police ? IS there a witness , Did you try to contact Mr XXX , If so why do you contact the alledged abuser ? I saw My atty do very similar questions at a trial He did of another guy ,this abuse crap is so over used and abused , and the restraining order crap , [I think) from watching a couple trials , the judge didn't really pay attention to it , I haven't seen a trial out of three I watched where the psycho's had much to say except HE DID IT!! then under cross examination said like well the reports in BF egypt It really exists but My dog ate the home work assignment and we don't have that document with us , I suggest You watch a couple trials , And read atty selection , Also find an atty that represents mostly men , I did and he really works for men , He said his record for winning for men is 50%,Unlike the atty's I fired that had a hopeless attitude , Also remmember that information given to a GAL And can persuade a GAL , does not fall into the category that evidence at trial does , Like show the GAL she couldn't really be afraid if she calls you , And show the cell phone bill ,remmember this is all about the kids don't let her bait you into nasty correspondence etc , You show all communication on your part as civil and with interest of the children , there will be a history of her crap let her be the one to be nasty ,

First I will vent a bit !
  I have been going through this for several years And there has been some responses that have recognised My great frustration with this kind of crap,
   Here's My response , Some atty's engage in trying to stir things up , There is no doubt that this is more easily recogniseable than You may think, The letter from the atty Is [I believe] Meant to make you very angry and react ,
    Don't react with anger , I have, and it has hurt My case as far as  the GAL report , If I could go Back and get this through My head , If My atty would have took me to a sweat box and put thumb screws on Me and forced Me to listen Iwould Be better off ,[Please listen ]
   This is My advice and My atty's advice, And I am finally getting it ! Respond with a very nice letter that is a document from a civil Mind and personality , Let Your civil responses to this crap Be a longstanding history of interaction , Let Me give the example that will Make you see what I realised ,
    Mom Sends a similar nasty letter About school and that I am NOT to just go to school to [HANG OUT ]  with My son etc , The irony is he is in pre school and is 4 YO , And the school aggreed that I could come and do a small project etc with son ,
   Next line of crap :My visits start while He is in Pre-school, So Hence Another  Nasty letter about My visits interfering with toddlers pre school etc
   My civil response , I would be glad to pick up from school at 3 PM so Mom doesn't have to go get son , And then drop Him off to me at 4:30 PM , And I could travel before rush hour , Making it so Mom doesn;'t have to spend her time from 3PM to 4:30
     Mom Had another Nasty response !! This all went to the GAL ,
  So ask Your self what Is the best way to Make the Mother continue to write nasty letters , And allow you to write civil letters , This makes who's doing what Very obvious ,
    My atty said keep doing it ," keep going to the school keep interacting It pisses her off and she does all this nasty letter writeng" ,
   SO I am saying My expierience is : Let her put a bunch of documents into writeing , And You put a bunch of very nice documents into writeing ,
   As a note My response to Your letter would be .
    Dear Mr atty Please check the court order specifically [Where it shows the pick up times ] And please Be advised , [ quote from My atty to this kind of crap] My client intends to exorcise every right and all court ordered visitation , And use every legal means available to him to ensure that this is carried out , Please inform your client that the court order say's , X,Y,Z and He will be there at the court ordered time to pick up the child and exorcise His rights ,
        Sincerely : John Doe atty ,representing DAD,
   As a note to the predictability of these types My atty has been telling Me all all along that these types will back down before trial ,
   Sure enough Her atty saw Mine at court a few day's ago and asked to settle out of court , Her atty openly stated , He does not want to take this to trial !
   So look at this as an open invitation to show civil behavior and keep interacting , You should have seen the look on the monsters face when I showed up at childs school and asked questions and interacted normally during the schools open house night , I would have loved it if she would have freaked out on Me , I would have just stood there and let her be a jerk , But instead Her and her boy friend ,sheapishly left the meating as soon as it was over , I could feel the tension amoungst the other people there , I am certain that she went and told some fabulous stories to them and I was very nice and they saw a normal person , And there was a bit of hesitation on the part of the teachers etc , But then they saw that I was there for My son and ONLY concentrated on things at the school that pertained to My son