Topics

Soc,

Co oreder simply states which parent has child at this or that time, joint legal, etc. NO stipulations of any kind ie pick up times, exchange of information, out of state travel, moving, etc.......other then bm pick up at beg. dh at end.

We have had our share of problems, bm filed for custody reversal in 2002 (dh has physical during school year). Which the court denied and simply allowed phone calls between parent and child. So that was one thing that was fixed. (as we always had ss call her, she would not allow ss to call dh)

At the time of court our attorney stated we could not bring up issues, ie: pick times, etc. As since there is none stated we pick ss up from bm's the day before school resumes and then must drive 10 hours to get home. Well bm wanted us to wait until 5pm on the day before school resumes.

Our attorney said we had to wait until after court and something to this effect happened again. Well after court we tried to get along with bm and offered to write an agree stipulation.

Well that has fallen through and we have gone back to the co. However there now is a new issue.

Bm meet a man about a year ago and up until T-giving she only spent the night with this man, no mention she moved in, no notice, dh still has continued to send her mail at her old address (along with sending ss letters while he was there over the summer to her old address).

So bm get ss for T-giving the day before or the day of pick up no mention of a move again. So T-giving day ss calls dh but were not home, dh returns call next day.

BM gets on phone, because dh sent her a letter about pick up that Sunday and will meet at her old addy (we meet at the church down the street). Bm starts a fight with dh because she has moved and he must drive all the way there (its another 45 mins. South).

Dh stood his ground and told her she never informed him of a move or provided him with a new addy, and in fact she received her letter at her old addy (she lived with her gp's).  Told her until she does then he will pick up at the old addy, and when she does inform him then great he will meet her there at her new addy.

She told him she lived in a town called Byram, well they got disconnected she called back got voice mail and stated on the voice mail she now lives in Byram but gave no addy.

OKay here is where we are torn, I tried to explain to dh that he must assume bm stays with the bf, Because if we can not reach bm on her cell thats where she can be reached. However, I understand what he says she had/has not informed him of a move and is refusing to give him her addy.

Plus she still gets mail at her old addy (or at least the gp's are still acceptiing dh's letters to bm? as they are signning for them).

I will tell you on my own I reversed the bf's phone number its listed in a town Terry and not Byram. I called info and they stated that the prefix is a Jackson prefix (Mississippi) but infact that number is listed to xxxx at xxxxxx, Terry Ms (the bf) and not Byram.

So as of yet no word from bm, dh has typed up a letter simply stating that due to the issue at T-giving there was a mention of a move and no notice was or has been givin to him or has she provided him with a new address and until she does he will assume she still lives at the old addy and thats where we will pick ss up at the end of her time.


Springbreak is her next visit, if she provides dh with no notice, no new addy. And once dh gets there for pick at the end and she refuses to bring ss to him and dh has to go retrive ss.

1. Would this be enough grounds to file something to clear up the co, all issues, and not just the one here.

This is for a friend, her ex in laws were awarded gardianship of her to children. She was awarded visitation.  Here is what the co reads as for visitation.

16.  It is also in the children's best interest that they enjoy generous visitation with their mother. Therefore, the Court imposes the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines in this case, with the addition of parenting time with xxx for several hours each Saturday or Sunday the children do not have visitation with her according to the Guidelines. To the extent this visitation conflicts with the Natural Father's parenting time, his time is modified due to the fact he lives with the Petitioners and may see the children at all times they do not have parenting time with xxx.      

The guidelines are the normal e/o weekend and mid week visit with alternating holidays.

The ex in-laws state that the father has rights too, the extra vist on her non weekend was put in by mistake. And have only allowed the one extra visit thats ordered which this weekend should have been another but they were not home.

My friends attorney has filed an appeal on the gardianship matter (she did not have an attorney at the time, long story).

For the mid-week visit they are only allowing three hours, however they are allowing her 2 1/2 extra hours during her weekends with the guidelines so you could say that rather evens out.

The guidelines state the following for reg. visits v. Holidays.

1.  Conflicts Between Regular and Holiday Weekends.  

The Holiday Parenting Time Schedule shall take precedence over regularly scheduled and extended parenting time.  Extended parenting time takes precedence over regular parenting time unless otherwise indicated in these Guidelines.

If the non-custodial parent misses a regular weekend because it is the custodial parent's holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume following the holiday.  If the non-custodial parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume the following weekend with the custodial parent.


This year would be the gp's year for New Years Eve/Day Holiday this  is how the guideline reads:

[1]  New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  (The date of the new year will determine odd or even year).  From December 30th at 7:00 P.M to 7:00 P.M. of the evening before school resumes.


But the youngest child's B-day is December 31 and this is how the guidelines read for that:  

[3] Child's Birthday.  In even numbered years the non-custodial parent shall have all of the children on each child's birthday from 9:00 A.M. until 9:00 P.M.  However, if the birthday falls on a school day, then from 5:00 P.M. until 8:00 P.M.  

 
In odd numbered years the non-custodial parent shall have all of the children on each child's birthday on the day before the child's birthday from 9:00 A.M. until 9:00 P.M., however, if such day falls on a school day, then from 5:00 P.M. until 8:00 P.M.    


1. Would the mother still get her extra visit on Saturday or Sunday as in the court order over holidays or is it considered a reg. visit?

2. Would the mother still be intitled to the child for the youngest B-day even though its during a Holiday?

Here is the situation. (9-10 drive one way) Dh and BM have this as the co.


STATE OF INDIANA                                            IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT 1
COUNTY OF KNOX                                                                 CASE NO.

XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXX

V.
XXXX XXXXX XXXXX, XX


AGREEMENT CONCERNING CUSTODY AND VISITTATION
Comes no the parties hereto and herein submit to the Court the following agreement concerning the Custody and Visitation of their minor child.

1. Background: List all parties and child's name, dob's . S.S. number's and what state they will reside.

2. Legal custody: The parties herein agree that they will share joint legal custody of the minor child.

3. Physical Custody: The parties agree that they shall each share the physical custody of their child in the following manner:

Father: The father shall have physical custody of the minor child from 1 week prior to the school year
until 1 week following the school year.

Mother: The mother shall have physical custody of the minor child during times when the child is out of school for any period of time longer than a 3 day weekend.

4. Transportation: The parties acknowledge that this arrangement may lead to considerable expense for transporting the child between residences. After careful consideration and discussion, the parties agree that transportation shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent.

5. Support: The parties agree that any support obligation in this matter would be nearly equal.
Therefore, the parties have agreed that no direct support shall be paid from 1 parent to the other.

6. Visitation: The parties agree that the distance involved will make visitation difficult. The parties agree to any reasonable visitation upon advanced notice.

The Christmas vacation on even years will be spent with the father and the Christmas vacation on odd years will be spent with the mother.

7. Tax Exemption: The father shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependant for tax purposes for the even years. The father agrees to execute any documents necessary for the mother to claim said child during the odd years.

The mother shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependent for tax purposes for the odd years. The mother agrees to execute any documents necessary for the father to claim said child during the even years.

Both parties signed, ordered and dated by the court December 23, 1998.




I will try and keep this short. From 1999-April 2003 BM pick up at 3:30 P.M. the day school is released, Dh at 8:00 A.M. the day before school resumed (during the school months) From summer Bm picked up at 8:00 A.M. on the day one week after school, us at 8:00A.M.

The Summer of 2002 Bm requested we wait until 5:00 PM. Dh said no, so she lethim have him at 7:30 A.M. but later decided that for summer time he would agree to that so we has an attorney send her a modification with regards to all pick ups, and other exchange informations.

But she filed for reversal of custody only stating that it would be in ss's best interest to live with her.  Our attorney told us all these issues could not be brought up, until after this was over and we had problems again we could take it to court then.

The reversal was denyed, but the Court added one call a week.

Bm and I talked and she agreed to a modification with all issues hammered out if in return we meet halfway for exchanges. Dh agreed to all but....we had to meet the day after school was released at 12:00 pm and at 12:00 pm EST, and he would not meet for T-giving. (because we would have to meet on T-giving day)

I had everthing ready to go then the school aproved a new calender that added Wednesday off from school. So I told BM we would agree to meet now and we would wait until after T-giving to sign so this would have given everyone a good feel on meeting half way.

We have since X-mas of last year, but dh will not meet her now beacuse of (below)

BM decided not to meet, she is driving all the way here. I told her we would meet her at 3:30 P.M.  like we used to, Bm wants to pick ss up from school. DH told her no so of course there is war.

(side note I have told dh a judge may say bm could pick up ss from school but we don't want to be at her hand when its time for dh to pick up)(our attorney is over seas right now so dh would have to do this alone, and would like to jump on this as soon as he can)


Questions
1. Can Dh file somethimg with the courts to settle all issues, pick ups, exchange of info, etc.
2. Is it to late to ask Thanksgiving to be split E/O year. (If this is taken back to court)
3. If the answer to 3. is no, how could/should he ask that it would be in ss's best interest to have t-givig E/O year with him.
4. In your experiance or what Pick up Times would you think is fare.

Dear Soc have a questions for you, We are still working on that stipulated order to the co, we wanted to know if there could be wording added pertaining to Taxes, Dh wants the co to still read as below, but  with a stipulation that only the bio parent can claim the child and that if the bio parent is not claiming/filling taxes thus would not be claiming the child in their asigned year they must inform the other parent in writing by such date and provide all necessary documents so that parent may claim the child for that year. This is what the co states as of now:


7. Tax Exemption: The father shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependant for tax purposes for the even years. The father agrees to execute any documents necessary for the mother to claim said child during the odd years.

The mother shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependent for tax purposes for the odd years. The mother agrees to execute any documents necessary for the father to claim said child during the even years.

We know that bm let a boyfriend claim the child in 99 and then in 01 her grandparents did.  Dh wants the right to claim the child if she is unable to.


1. Could something to that effect  be added
2. How should we state it, we don't think it would be necessary to exchange w2s or anything, if it is stated that she must inform she will.

Soc you helped me with  a Motion for entry of stipulated order, I can not find that post but I wanted to say thank you. Also, we live in Indiana were the case is filed and bm lives in Mississippi.

1. Would it matter that she will sign this and have it noterized in Missippippi?

Soc,
I have been working on an amendment/modification  (for my husband and bm) to their  custody order. The custody order was signed/ordered  in 1998 and is very plain as you will see. The bm filed for reversal in 2002 that was denied but the court on its own motion modified the co as you will see.

I think I maybe using the wrong term they ,bm and husband, want things added to the co, and a few things changed but want the joint legal and physical custody  and visitation to remain the same as in the co.

Original custody order:



STATE OF INDIANA                                            IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT 1
COUNTY OF KNOX                                             CAUSE NO.

XXXXXXX, XXXXX, XXXX

V.
XXXX, XXXXX ,XXXXX, XX


AGREEMENT CONCERNING CUSTODY AND VISITTATION
Comes no the parties hereto and herein submit to the Court the following agreement concerning the Custody and Visitation of their minor child.

1. Background: List all parties and child's name, dob's . S.S. number's and what state they will reside.

2. Legal custody: The parties herein agree that they will share joint legal custody of the minor child.

3. Physical Custody: The parties agree that they shall each share the physical custody of their child in the following manner:

Father: The father shall have physical custody of the minor child from 1 week prior to the school year until 1 week following the school year.

Mother: The mother shall have physical custody of the minor child during times when the child is out of school for any period of time longer than a 3 day weekend.

4. Transportation: The parties acknowledge that this arrangement may lead to considerable expense for transporting the child between residences. After careful consideration and discussion, the parties agree that transportation shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent.

5. Support: The parties agree that any support obligation in this matter would be nearly equal. Therefore, the parties have agreed that no direct support shall be paid from 1 parent to the other.

6. Visitation: The parties agree that the distance involved will make visitation difficult. The parties agree to any reasonable visitation upon advanced notice.

The Christmas vacation on even years will be spent with the father and the Christmas vacation on odd years will be spent with the mother.

7. Tax Exemption: The father shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependant for tax purposes for the even years. The father agrees to execute any documents necessary for the mother to claim said child during the odd years.

The mother shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependent for tax purposes for the odd years. The mother agrees to execute any documents necessary for the father to claim said child during the even years.

Both parties signed, ordered and dated by the court December 23, 1998.


*******************************************************
Court Order Denying  co reversal:


STAE OF  INDIANA                       IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT1

COUNTY OF KNOX, SS:                 2003 TERM

IN THE MATTER OF                                                                     CAUSE NO.
THE PATERNITY OF X.X.X.
by next friend
XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXX,
   Petitioner,
               Vs.
XXXX XXXXX XXXXX, XX.
   Respondent



          COURT ORDER DENYING PETITION FOR MODIFICATION
                                        July 11, 2003

         The petitioner/Mother, xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxx,  appears in person and by counsel, xxxxx xxxxxx. The Respondent/Father,  xxxx xxxxx xxxxx, xx.., appears in person and by counsel, xxxxx xxxxxxxxx. The parties appear for hearings in the Knox Superior Court 1 on November 20, 2002 and on April 25, 2003 on the Petitioner/Mother's petition to change Joint Custody, Physical Custody, and for Child Support filed September 16, 2002. The Court hears evidence and testimony at the hearings, and hears arguments of counsel. At the conclusion of the hearing on April 25, 2003, the Court takes matters under advisement.
           The Court having considered these matters and being duly advised in the premises, now FINDS as follows:
                    1. That no substantial and continuing change of circumstances has occurred which necessitates a modification of the Court's present Order in this cause.
             
              The Court having considered the matter and being duly advised in the premises, now ORDERS, ADJUDGES, AND DECREES as follows:

                    1. CUSTODY: The parties shall continue to share joint legal and physical custody of xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, born xxxx xx, xxxxx, with the Court's Order of December 23, 1998, to remain in full force and effect.
                    2. TLEPHONE CONTACT: The Court on its own motion now modifies the existing Order in this cause to provide that the parent not having primary physical custody of xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx  at a particular time may have telephone contact with xxxxx at least one time per week at that parent's expense, at a time mutually agreed upon by the parties.

   
            his Order shall be effective this 11th day of July, 2003

Dated and signed by Judge.

**********************************************************
   
Amendment: (what I am now working on)

STATE OF INDIANA               IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT 1
COUNTY OF KNOX                                                                         CAUSE NO.

XXXXXXX, XXXXX, XXXX
              VS                                                                                          
XXXX, XXXXX, XXXX, XX


 
        AGREED  AMENDMENT  TO THE " AGREEMENT CONCERNING CUSTODY AND VISITATION",  DATED DECEMBER 23, 1998

 
The parties submit to the court the following  amendment  to the Agreement Concerning the Custody and Visitation signed and ordered by the court dated  December 23, 1998.



                        COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PARTIES


Each party shall keep the other in formed of their current address and telephone number. When either party considers a change in residence, a 30 day advance notice shall be provided to the other party.


 __________                                                                                                                                  __________


                                       
             
      COMMUNICATION BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS AND CHILD


Each party,  upon receipt of mail or packages addressed to the child from the non-custodial parent, step-parent, or relative of the non-custodial parent, shall see to it that such mail or packages are given unopened to child. The child shall be allowed to retain possession of such mail or packages , sent by the non-custodial parent, step-parent or other relative of the non-custodial  parent.


__________                                                                                                                                   __________




       TELEPHONIC COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PARENT AND CHILD


When the child is with one parent, the other parent shall have telephonic communication with the child everyday at that parent's expense. The parties will agree upon specific times for said telephonic communication between the hours of 3:30pm and 8:30 pm due to schedules and commitments.
    Note:  It is the non-custodial parent's responsibility to call at the agreed times, if that parent does not call at an agreed time that parent shall be responsible to return the call.
              If the non-custodial parent calls any other time that is not agreed to they shall be allowed to speak to the child if available, if the child is unavailable or the call is missed it is the responsibility of the non-custodial parent to return the call.
              It is the responsibility of the custodial parent to have the child ready for the call at an agreed time, if the custodial parent misses the call at the agreed time then it shall be that parents responsibility to see that the child returns the call.
               The length of the call shall last as long as the child determines the conversation shall last.
               Times would be in the child's time zone if it were different then the non-custodial-parent.
          .


__________                                                                                                                                   __________

         


                     

            EXCHANGE OF  GENERAL HEALTH , MEDICAL, AND      MENTAL                        HEALTH INFORMATION


Both parties shall provide each other with all the names, addresses, and phone numbers of all health care providers of the child, Aaron Louis Mills, in their area. Each party shall notify the other promptly if any such changes regarding this information.

If the child is undergoing evaluation, treatment or routine checkup the custodial parent at the time shall communicate that fact to the non-custodial parent at the time.    
Each parent shall immediately notify the other of any medical emergencies or illness of the child that requires medical attention.

Each year, upon the return of the child to the mother's physical custody for the summer period, the father shall give written authorization to the child's health care providers, in his area ,to release and send copies of  all medical records to the child's health care providers in the mother's area. Upon the return of the child to the father's physical custody at the end of said period the mother shall give written authorization to the child's health care providers, in her area ,to release and send copies of all medical records to the child's health care providers in the father's area.

Furthermore, both parents have equal access to all dental, medical and mental health records of the child, and have the right to request and receive copies of the records for themselves in both area's. Both parents have the right to contact and discuss the child's treatment, evaluation ,or general well being of  the child with the child's health care providers in both areas.


__________                                                                                                                                   __________

                                 

            EXCHANGE OF SCHOOL INFORMATION AND ACTIVITIES


 The father shall provide the mother with copies of the child's report cards and notices from school as they are received. The father shall notify the mother of all school activities.
Both parents have equal access to all the child's school records and may request and receive copies for themselves. Both parents have the right to attend all school activities and to communicate directly with school personnel concerning the child.


__________                                                                                                                                   __________


 

                              OTHER ACTIVITIES


Each parent shall notify the other parent of all organized events in the child's life which permit parental and family participation . A parent shall not interfere with the opportunity of the other  parent to volunteer for or participate in such activities.


__________                                                                                                                                   __________

                                     

 
                       EMERGENCY NOTIFICATION


Both parties shall provide the other  with a minimum of 7 days notice of plans to take the child out of their state of residence for more then a day, such notice shall include the destination, duration of stay, and a telephone number  to contact said child or the absent parent.


__________                                                                                                                                   __________
                                                 
                                           


                       TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS  


The parties agree to meet at a halfway destination between residences in the town of  Steele , in the state of Missouri at certain parenting and visitation times, AND agree to be responsible for their own transportation at certain parenting and visitation times as defined below.  All times defined below are Eastern Standard Time.

        Agreed times parties have agreed to meet at said destination for exchanges:


 During the school months when the mother is to have physical custody of the child and when the mother is to have the child in the odd years for Christmas vacation as defined in the, Agreement Concerning Custody and Visitation, the parties agree to meet at said destination on the day after school is released for the beginning of the periods, and to meet on the day before school resumes for the end of the periods, exchange times shall take place at 12:00 pm.



The parties agree to meet at said destination one week following the school year for the beginning of the mother's summer physical custody period and one week prior to the school year for the end of the period as defined in the, Agreement Concerning Custody and Visitation order. Exchange times shall take place at 12:00 pm.
                 

                 
         Agreed times the parties have agreed to be responsible for own transportation:

For any other visitation as defined in the, Agreement Concerning Custody and Visitation Order, the parent exercising that visitation shall be responsible for all transportation.


__________                                                                                                                                   __________


                                       
                                       
                                                   


                          TRANSPORTATION STIPULATION


 The parties agree that at the certain times when they have agreed to meet at said destination as defined above in the Transportation Arrangements, it is their responsibility to insure that the child is transported to said destination on the days and times specified.  If one parties fails in their duty to meet at said destination one time after this amendment goes into effect, then the transportation stipulation defined below shall apply to any and all future exchanges. All times defined below are Eastern Standard Time.



During the school months when the mother is to have physical custody of the child and when the mother is to have the child for Christmas vacation in the odd years as defined in the, Agreement Concerning Custody and Visitation, the mother shall be responsible for all transportation at the beginning of the periods, the father shall have the child ready for exchange no later then 3:30 pm on the day school is released for the periods. The father shall be responsible for all transportation at the end of the periods, the mother shall have the child ready no later then 8:00 am on the day before school resumes.


The mother shall be responsible for all transportation at the beginning of  her summer physical custody period,  the father shall have the child ready for exchange, one week  following the school year, for the beginning of the period as defined in the, Agreement Concerning Custody and Visitation, no later then 8:00 am.   The father shall be responsible for all transportation at the end of  the period , the mother shall have the child ready for exchange, one week prior to the school year,  for the end of the period as defined in the, Agreement Concerning Custody and Visitation, no later then 8:00 pm.


For any other  visitation  as defined in the, Agreement Concerning  Custody and Visitation Order,  the parent exercising that visitation shall be responsible for all transportation.



__________                                                                                                                                   __________


                                                       

                        OTHER AGREEMENTS


Either parent may authorize a third party to transport the child for an exchange, this party must be at least 18 years of age with a valid drivers license,  have had at least one year's driving experience and a person the child is familiar with.


In the event of death in the immediate family additional parenting time shall be allowed so the said child may attend the funeral of the deceased family member. "immediate family" shall be defined as follows: a parent, sibling, half-sibling, step-sibling, grandparent, great-grandparent, step-parent, step-grandparent, and step-great grandparent.  Four consecutive days shall be granted.



If the custodial parent at the time shall be away from the child for longer then  31 consecutive days , the child shall temporarily be placed in the non-custodial  parent's care until the custodial parent returns. Once the custodial parent returns the child must be returned to that parent.


__________                                                                                                                                  __________  


1. What the difference between a modification and an amendment /  Which term should I be using?

2.  Should it be placed in this that the joint legal and physical  and visitation remains the same as ordered in the 1998 court order.? If it can be where to I place it.

3. The bm no longer lives in the state that it stated in the 1998 court order should that be addressed since it was in the 1998 court order? If so where should I place it.

4. The Court modified the co and added telephone contact, bm wants that changed to read as above,  how do I address that they want to modify the courts modification?  Should it be placed at the very beginning where it says the parties now summit the court, etc.....?

I am in no way second questioning you or anything, my huasband has told me about a new law??? I am the one below whom asked questions about my husband and his custody and deploment. This questions is for me due to the fact my husband will not listen to me and will only listen to his Jag officers whom condridict all the information I have found. We live in Indiana and bm lives in Mississippi. I have even been incontact with the attorney general's office in Mississippi. After today I thought maybe I missed something or didn't give you all information, or anyone else for that matter.

1.The Jag officer's told my husband that no matter if bm gets emergency temp custody here (Indiana) that he will get physical custody back, even if he is gone 6 months-2 years, deployment it not grounds for change of custody.
Is this true?

2. That if bm gets emergency temp custody in Miss. the same thing applies as above, but there is a new law that the custody case remains in Indiana (ie. once he returns after 6 months-2 years the case returns to Indiana).  Again the above applies since deployment is not grounds for change of custody.
Is this true?

3. I have been reading a little about the sailor's and soldier's act.  To my understanding of that a final judgement can not be made until he is back or is able to be in court, and it has nothing to do with him losing custody. Can you explain any thing about this act.

DH has one week before the school year until one week after, e/o x-mas, Bm has anytime the child is out longer then three days. Bm lives in Mississippi, we in Indiana, case filed in Indiana in'98. Dh is in the gaurds he has been activated. We are not 100% sure hes going but,


Our attorney is also the jag officer. Dh tried to contact him today and he was not in, we did find out attorney is going, he got a hold of another attorney in the office. He informed my husband that Bm can file and get temp. custody in Mississippi but when he returns the custody case will stay in Indiana because she needs his permission to change jurisdication, and he will get custody back.


1. Wouldn't she have to file for temp. custody here?

2. Am I reading the Jurisdication act wrong, because I see now where that she will  need his permission, just the courts ?

3. If bm did get Temp. custody, and dh returns before the week before school starts he will have to go to court to have the Temp. custody thrown out? something along the lines right? He can not just go pick him up as if she has Temp. custody she doesn't have to release him?

4. If he is gone 6-12 months what are the odds he would get ss back, wouldn't she have more statas, since the child would be there that long and be granted Custody once he returns? And he would have to prove a change in her home to regain custody?

This may seem a little strange but non the less, hubby is the cp in his case. Bm gets ss one week after school ends until one week before school starts, and anytme he is out longer then three days,e/o x-mas. So ss has a doc. here in Indiana, plus on in Mississippi as he should due to distance.

We have tried since August to get ss records from Miss., bm said she signed for them to be released twice, I know I have twice here by filling out a form from our doc.'s office.

Hubby sent a letter off this site, (SPARC SITE). A few sentances in this letter, state he is exercising his rights under state and federal law, etc.

Well the doc.'s office there now want the federal law that states both parents have access to medical records.

They do have joint legal, and I found the state statues, but nothing under federal.

1. Is there a federal law/ or statue?

I had problems loging on. My old name was stepmother1978.

Anyway I'm eleven weeks, I told hubby it better be a girl or he will be.
We have four boys.

I have a "friend" that I have been talking to for about 2 years on another site.

Her mother took her to court for gp visitation well at the court hearing last min the gm backed out but the judge ordered my "friend" her ex and my "friend's" mother to take parenting classes or to come to a written agreement but not file it with the courts.

Now my "friend" and her ex are on the same page its not that they don't want the gm to visit she wanted visitation like a ncp would get heck even more thus would take the dad's time.

The gm told dad that her attorney sent my "friend's" attorney a letter asking for this week since her (gm's) attorney did not receive a response she gets the child by defult......without thinking the dad gives her the child.

At 2pm sunday my "friend" goes to meet dad and dad is a no show so she calls him and he tells her what her mom has told him that she was taking the child to the beach.

So my "friend" gets ahold of her attorney and the WAS NO LETTER sent to him......The police (including her state), prosecutor's office, etc. will not help in anymanner.

Come to find out this gm even has taken the child out of state and refuses to tell her where they are.......

NOW we all know if this had been the dad his ball$ would be in the wringer....

I have not really posted that much,,,I do check. So much going on with my husband...national gaurd....and custody that it caused alot of problems with my pregnancy. Things are getting better since I made my decision. 7 weeks 4 days to go,,,another little boy do that makes 5 total. Well I guess my dream of a little girl has washed away...lol...

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Should this or could this be changed, (this is  long distance custody issues) current custody agreement states for visitation they agree to any reasonable visitation with advance notice for both parties. This is also where c-mas vacation is listed dad has even years mom has odd.

Bm does not want to split x-mas, I already asked her about that.


We had the problem of her telling ss she can not visit because dad will not let her,etc other then the time listed in the co. When hubby talked to her she first was like she didn't know she could then she said she was told it was up to him etc.etc. Long story short.


She does live 9 hours away, co-----we have one week before school until one week after, she has anytime child is out longer then three days. co---covers, 9 1/2 weeks of summer, Thansgiving, e/o Christmas vacation, Spring break ,for her.  

Could the visitation part be reworded someother way? Could or should it it address other Holidays or special days in a way if the non-custodial parent  wishes he/she sould have first choice of their respected special day, or year, with 2 week notice.

Ex. Mother's & Father's day weekend are not addressed nor their b-day's nor is ss b-day.  We always have ss for mother's day and visversa, we never have ss on, around or near his b-day.  Their are other holiday's listed in the Indiana guidelines that are not in co, that would give her more time........................here is the big kicker the ncp at the time is responsable for all transportation and we will be keeping that the same due to distance, but could rearange the times that are listed in the guidelines so ss could be picked up sooner and droped off later,etc.

I have a really rough draft and my husband thinks is stupided, I told him I'm trying to get it to read in away that if the ncp at the time chooses to exercise a visitation on any of the special days, or holidays, and an agreement can not be made for a visit on their respected special day or year for the Holiday then the following shall apply:
Then I listed for mom with extened time
Then for dad,etc.

He thinks we should let it be I thought mabe if it were rewored maybe? What do you guys think.

Some may remember me asking for advise pertaining to transportation. CO reads the ncp at the time is responsible for transportation. Bm had asked for about three years to meet halfway, we agreed if she would sign a modification she said she would, she told me all the things she wanted I added them, WE (hubby and I) wanted a stipulation that if one party failed to show the transportation would fall back to the ncp at the time being resopnsible in the future with pick up/drop off times added. As there is none in the co right now.  I turned it in th our lawyer and he said to give it a try first, he did not disagree with the modification but he said she could take us to court with a sob sorry and the judge might bit. So we agree to meet this x-mas all went ok she was late for return, but called. I think we should try a few time before anything.

But how hard would it be if she took us back to court down the road and say we have been meeting since xxxxx I want the co changed? Then we would have no recourse ie no stipulation and would be stuck taking her for contempt right.

I understand our attorney, right now we can fall back to the co, but hubby and I have a strong feeling she will take us for custody again and this will be changed since we have been meeting per say.

How do you all feel should we just not change the co and hope for the best?

Also posted to Soc, but he is away so I thought I would ask others oppions, please be aware there are alot of issues here that I can tell you if you think that would help.

           Here is the situation. (9-10 drive one way) Dh and BM have this as the co.


STATE OF INDIANA IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT 1
COUNTY OF KNOX CASE NO.

XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXX

V.
XXXX XXXXX XXXXX, XX


AGREEMENT CONCERNING CUSTODY AND VISITTATION
Comes no the parties hereto and herein submit to the Court the following agreement concerning the Custody and Visitation of their minor child.

1. Background: List all parties and child's name, dob's . S.S. number's and what state they will reside.

2. Legal custody: The parties herein agree that they will share joint legal custody of the minor child.

3. Physical Custody: The parties agree that they shall each share the physical custody of their child in the following manner:

Father: The father shall have physical custody of the minor child from 1 week prior to the school year
until 1 week following the school year.

Mother: The mother shall have physical custody of the minor child during times when the child is out of school for any period of time longer than a 3 day weekend.

4. Transportation: The parties acknowledge that this arrangement may lead to considerable expense for transporting the child between residences. After careful consideration and discussion, the parties agree that transportation shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent.

5. Support: The parties agree that any support obligation in this matter would be nearly equal.
Therefore, the parties have agreed that no direct support shall be paid from 1 parent to the other.

6. Visitation: The parties agree that the distance involved will make visitation difficult. The parties agree to any reasonable visitation upon advanced notice.

The Christmas vacation on even years will be spent with the father and the Christmas vacation on odd years will be spent with the mother.

7. Tax Exemption: The father shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependant for tax purposes for the even years. The father agrees to execute any documents necessary for the mother to claim said child during the odd years.

The mother shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependent for tax purposes for the odd years. The mother agrees to execute any documents necessary for the father to claim said child during the even years.

Both parties signed, ordered and dated by the court December 23, 1998.




I will try and keep this short. From 1999-April 2003 BM pick up at 3:30 P.M. the day school is released, Dh at 8:00 A.M. the day before school resumed (during the school months) From summer Bm picked up at 8:00 A.M. on the day one week after school, us at 8:00A.M.

The Summer of 2002 Bm requested we wait until 5:00 PM. Dh said no, so she lethim have him at 7:30 A.M. but later decided that for summer time he would agree to that so we has an attorney send her a modification with regards to all pick ups, and other exchange informations.

But she filed for reversal of custody only stating that it would be in ss's best interest to live with her. Our attorney told us all these issues could not be brought up, until after this was over and we had problems again we could take it to court then.

The reversal was denyed, but the Court added one call a week.

Bm and I talked and she agreed to a modification with all issues hammered out if in return we meet halfway for exchanges. Dh agreed to all but....we had to meet the day after school was released at 12:00 pm and at 12:00 pm EST, and he would not meet for T-giving. (because we would have to meet on T-giving day)

I had everthing ready to go then the school aproved a new calender that added Wednesday off from school. So I told BM we would agree to meet now and we would wait until after T-giving to sign so this would have given everyone a good feel on meeting half way.

We have since X-mas of last year, but dh will not meet her now beacuse of (below)

BM decided not to meet, she is driving all the way here. I told her we would meet her at 3:30 P.M. like we used to, Bm wants to pick ss up from school. DH told her no so of course there is war.

(side note I have told dh a judge may say bm could pick up ss from school but we don't want to be at her hand when its time for dh to pick up)(our attorney is over seas right now so dh would have to do this alone, and would like to jump on this as soon as he can)


Questions
1. Can Dh file somethimg with the courts to settle all issues, pick ups, exchange of info, etc.
2. Is it to late to ask Thanksgiving to be split E/O year. (If this is taken back to court)
3. If the answer to 3. is no, how could/should he ask that it would be in ss's best interest to have t-givig E/O year with him.
4. In your experiance or what Pick up Times would you think is fare
 

I will answer questions if asked.........But my question is how long does the appeal process take/ or should you hear spmething. My friend lost her kids to her ex-in-laws. (Guardianship). She did not have an attorney at that time (Court Oct. 14-Ruling Nov. 3) but does now (appeal filed Nov. 10th).

There is a guy on the Indian board that has no visitation, I gave him a little advise but I think he needs advise on how to go pro se , as he lives in another state then the child and does not have a lot of money, If there is anyone here from Indiana and/or could give him advise how to do that because I don't know my self how too, I told him to stop by these boards to ask??????????

Need some help. I checked into flying with delta as they only charge 50 for the minor fee. The problem is they do not take this fee until booking in........have you ran into this problem is there a way to go around this, There is no way dh would mail bm that money...lol. I called the Jackson AirPort but all I get is a recording that gives the same number I already have.....that told me we had to may at the desk......I wonder if they would take a check or money order?????

We can not use SW as their is no direct flights.

How do you guys feel about the ncp providing your child with a cell? Child's age 10.


The cell to be used as a secondary phone line to reach the child is the child was not at home for the weekly alowed call. Or for the child to call the ncp or return a call.

What about a calling card provided by the ncp.

How would you feel if the cp took these things from the child and is baring access??????

Anyone know how to save email to disks?

I posted this on Soc's board but wanted to know what you all think while I am waiting.


First thing there is no stipulations, etc. in the co re. providing address, phone number, exchange dates / times / places of physical custody.

Here is dh's problem Thanksgiving bm informs dh she moved (the day before pick up dh is cp but mom get T-givings). But would not tell him her new physical address.

She wanted to meet him at an exit in the town x.

During their conversation at that time they got cut off, bm calls back and leaves a message that she has moved to town x and that dh must drive all the way there.

Dh refused to, he told her until she informs him in writing that she has moved an provides him with her address he will assume she still lives in town y. And thats where he will pick ss up at. BM did bring ss.

On December 31 dh mails her a letter re other stuff but adds that she still has not provided him with her addy. he will continue to assume she lives in town y as thats where he sends letters to her and they are accepted.

(bm lives/lived with her grandparents thats where dh continues to send her letters and they sign for her letters, bm signed for one in December)


Now I will be truthful but it may not matter, We do have bm's phone number she gave that to us about 6-8 months ago but at that time it was her bf's and she only stayed there on the weekends she explained that ss would be there for most of the summer with her but now she says she lives there.

I reversed that number and it is in the bf's name but its listed in town z. I asked for adivse from someone on a different board and they said not to send anything there until she does inform dh.

I called information and asked for the bf's number and that the number with the addy but again in town z.


The only issue is dh wants the address provided to him. We have a feeling bm will refuse to bring ss to town y come this spring break. We got advise from ss's therapist but he is not an attorney either. He simply stated he would not let ss go.


Dh really does not want to get into that kind of mess.

1. Could one say dh was informed she moved he has her number and can get her address on his own?

2. Would this be contempt?

3. What advise could you give?

 

I was wondering if anyone are using this or have used it. I would like to know if you can change the preffered numbers at anytime. We would like to send one with ss when he goes with mom, but want to be able to change the preferred number to an unknown one once ss returns so she can not use it to call here. SS is only nine so she will take it from him, yes she will let him use it  to call dh, but will not let him control it plus she will not return it.

We sent a letter from here for medical records, they want the federal law thats states both parents have access.

Just wanted to let you all know that not only ncp have problems so do some cp. Our situation maybe a little different but non the less. SS goes with mom for 9 1/2 weeks during the summer, Thanksgiving, e/o x-mas break and spring break to Mississippi, we live in Indiana.  Joint legal, shared physical, so of course he has a doc in both states as he should.  Well bm wanted for us to send the records to her when he comes for the summer then visa versa, we agreed (sending them last May to her doc) hoping this would speed things up, you know how slow doc's are (medical record department anyway). Well ss has been back since August and our doc still does not have them from there, bm said she requested for them to be sent twice and I have through our doc's office twice too. So hubby sent the letter off of here, a copy of the co etc. They got it Friday I sent it Express Mail, now lets see what happens? How long should we wait?

We have xp, one phone line, a lexmark x75.
The Computer runs off a cable modem.
The Lexmark has a fax feat. We are trying to get working.....
Hubby hooked it up to our computer and phone line and but the voice mail picks up at four rings, so we set the fax up at 3 rings? What if someone needs to leave a message?  A friend told him about a switch we can get that tells the differents, we went to several place and they said we would not be able to find it anymore.....but we can get multirings on our phone line then set one up as the fax line.......Looked at Sbc web (our phone company) and found that feat. This is what it says on the web Multiring 1( 2.95 a month)------2 phone numbers on 1 line each with a distinctive ring.  Multiring 2 (2.00 a month)-----up to 3 phone numbers on 1 phone line each with a distinctive ring. So I call them and add the 2.00 one, he asked me how I wanted them listed, under hubby's name I said.......later on I ask him are these different phone numbers he said no?  Ok so what am I missing here how does this work?

Another question we can not get it to fax from The lexmark its self, if you pull up the lexmark all in one center and use the send a fax with your computer's modem button it scans and everything but then says line down, but if you go through control panal you can send a fax that you type up.

I will first type cutody order:

STATE OF INDIANA                                                                                                                                             IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT 1  
COUNTY OF KNOX                          CASE NO.

XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXX                                                                                                      

                   V.
XXXX XXXXX XXXXX, XX


           AGREEMENT CONCERNING CUSTODY AND VISITTATION
Comes no the parties hereto and herein submit to the Court  the following agreement concerning the Custody and Visitation of their minor child.

1. Background: List all parties a child's name, dob. S.S. number  and what state they will reside.

2. Legal custody: The parties herein agree that they will share joint legal custody of the minor child.

3. Physical Custody:  The parties agree that they shall each share the physical custody of their child in the                following manner:

     Father: The father shall have physical custody of the minor child from 1 week prior to the school year  
until 1 week  following the school year.

     Mother:  The mother shall have physical custody of the minor child during times when the child is out of school for any period of time longer  than a 3 day weekend.

4. Transportation: The parties acknowledge that this arrangement may lead to considerable expense for transporting the child between residences. After careful consideration and discussion, the parties agree that transportation  shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent.

5. Support: The parties agree that any support  obligation in this matter would be nearly equal.
Therefore, the parties have agreed that no direct support shall be paid from 1 parent to the other.

6. Visitation: The parties agree that the distance involved will make visitation difficult. The parties agree to any reasonable visitation upon advanced notice.

The Christmas vacation on even years will be spent  with the father and the Christmas vacation on odd years will be spent with the mother.

7. Tax Exemption: The father shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependant for tax purposes for the even years. The father agrees to execute any documents necessary for the mother to claim said child during the odd years.

    The mother shall be allowed to claim the child, xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, as a dependent for tax purposes for the odd years. The mother agrees to execute any documents necessary for the father to claim said child during the even years.

Both parties signed, ordered and dated by the court  December 23, 1998.


Very plain co, we have agreed to meet bm at certain times and want to modify co. So here that is:

 STATE OF INDIANA                         IN THE KNOX SUPERIOR COURT 1
COUNTY OF KNOX  
XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXX                        CAUSE NO.
        VS.
XXXX XXXXX XXXXX, XX.

    AGREED MODIFICATON TO THE CURRENT AGREEMENT                      CONCERNING CUSTODY AND VISITATION

 
The parties submit to the court the following  agreed  modification  to the current Agreement Concerning the Custody and Visitation of their minor child signed by the court dated  December 23, 1998.

                                                                 COMMUNICATION
Each party shall keep the other in formed of their current address and telephone number. When either party considers a change in residence, a 30 day advance notice shall be provided to the other party.

 ____________                                                                                                                      ____________
                                                   
                                             COMMUNICATION BETWWEN PARENT AND CHILD
A parent and child shall have the right to communicate privately by cards, letters, and packages with out interference by the other parent.
The custodial parent at the time shall deliver said unopened cards, letters, and packages to said child promptly.


____________                                                                                                                       _____________


                       EXCHANGE OF  GENERAL HEALTH , MEDICAL, AND MENTAL HEALTH INFORMATION
Both parties shall provide each other with all the names, addresses, and phone numbers of all health care providers of the said child ,XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX, in their area. Each party shall notify the other promptly if any such changes regarding this information.
The custodial parent at the time must keep the non-custodial parent informed of all medical appointments and communicate with the non-custodial parent any out come of said appointments. And must immediately notify the non-custodial parent at the time of any medical emergencies or illness of the said child that requires medical attention.
Upon the return of said child to the mothers physical custody for the summer periods , the father shall give written authorization to the child's health care providers ,in his area, to release and send copies of  all medical  records to the child's health care providers in the mothers area.  Upon the return of said child to the fathers physical custody  at the end  of said period the mother shall give written authorization to the  child's health care providers, in her area, to release and send copies of all medical records  to the child's health care providers in the father's area.
Both parents have equal access  to all medical and mental health records of said child. Both parents have the right to contact and discuss the child's  treatment , or evaluation  or well being of  said child with the child's health care providers in both areas.


_____________                                                                                                                     ____________

                                           EXCHANGE OF SCHOOL INFORMATION AND ACTIVITIES
 The father shall provide the mother with copies of the said child's report cards and notices from school as they are received. The father shall notify the mother of all school activities.
Both parents have equal access  to all the said child's school records. Both parents have the right to attend all school activities and to communicate directly with school personnel concerning the said child.


__________                                                                                                                           __________
 

                                                                  OTHER ACTIVITIES
The custodial  parent at the time shall notify the non-custodial parent at the time of all organized events in the child's life which permit parental and family participation . The custodial parent at the time shall not interfere with the opportunity of the non-custodial parent at the time to volunteer for or participate in such activities.


___________                                                                                                                              __________
                                     

 
                                                       EMERGENCY NOTIFICATION
Both parties shall provide the other  with a minimum of 7 days notice of plans to take said child out of their state of residence for more then a day, such notice shall include the destination, duration of stay,  and a telephone number  to contact said child or the absent parent.


__________                                                                                                                             __________        



                            TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS

The parties agree to meet at a halfway destination between residences in the town of Hayti, in the state of Missouri at certain parenting and visitation times . AND agree to be responsible for their own transportation at certain parenting times and visitation times as defined below:
For times when the mother is to have physical custody of said child for 7 days or more during the school months the parties agree to meet at said destination for the child's return to the mothers physical custody on the day after the child is released from school at 12:00 pm for said periods. The parties also agree to meet at the said destination for the child's return to the fathers  physical custody after said periods end on the day before school resumes at 12:00 pm.

For times when the mother has physical custody of said child for periods of less then 7 days during the school months, the parties agree at the beginning of said periods the mother shall be responsible for all transportation . The father shall have the child ready for exchange no later the 3:30 pm on the day school is released for said periods. At the end of said periods the father shall be responsible for all transportation . The mother shall have the child ready for exchange no later then 8:00 am on the day before school resumes.


The parties agree to meet at the said destination between  residences  for the return of  the child to the mother's  physical custody  for the summer period ,on the day that is one week after school ends at 12:00 pm. The parties agree to meet at said destination  between residences after said period for the return of  the child to the father's  physical custody on the day that is one week before school resumes at 12:00 pm.

For visitation the parties agree to meet at said destination  for the mother's Christmas vacation  in the odd years on the day after school  is released for said vacation at 12:00pm. The parties agree to meet at said destination on the day before school resumes at 12:00 pm for the return of the child back to father's custody.

 For any other visitation listed in the current agreement concerning custody and visitation all transportation shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent at the time exercising the visitation.

The parties understand and agree a little leeway on time may need to be given due to unplanned circumstances with this arrangement.


__________                                                                                                    __________

                                         TRANSPORTATION STIPULATION
The parties agree that at the certain parenting times when they have agreed to meet at said destination  it is their responsibility to insure the said child is transported to said destination  on said days and times.
If one parties fails in their duty to meet at said destination one time after this modification goes into effect, then the default  transportation shall apply to all future  exchanges.

During the school months when the mother is to have physical custody of said child  she shall be responsible for all transportation at the beginning of said periods. The father shall have the child ready for exchange no later then  3:30 pm. on they day the child is released from school for said periods. The father shall be responsible for all transportation at the end of said periods the mother shall have the child ready no later then 8:00 am on the day before school resumes.

The mother shall be responsible for all transportation  at the beginning of  her summer physical custody periods.  The father shall have the child ready no later then 8:00 am on the day that is  one week after school ends. The father shall be responsible for all transportation  after said period.  The mother shall have the child ready no later the 8:00 pm on the day that is one week before school resumes.

The mother shall be responsible for all transportation at the beginning of her said Christmas vacation period in the odd years, The father shall have the child ready no later then 3:30 pm the day the child is released  from school. The father shall be responsible for all transportation  at the end of said vacation the mother shall have the child ready for exchange no later then 8:00 am the day before school resumes.

 For any other  visitation listed in the current agreement concerning custody and visitation all transportation shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent at the time exercising the visitation.


__________                                                                                                                               __________


                                                        OTHER AGREEMENTS
In the event of death in the immediate family additional parenting time shall be allowed so the said child may attend the funeral of the deceased family member. "immediate family" shall be defined as follows:
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This is not done yet, so her goes.

The modifiaction looks so much formal the the co so that might be why it seems different to me. Let me start with what they were told so you know why it reads ncp at the time, or cp at the time. When this was first done they were told by an attorney when bd has physical custody he is the cp, bm is the ncp........then when bm had physical custody she was the cp and bd was the ncp. Bm did file for reversal in 2002 it was denyed but the courts on it own motion added a modification The parent not having primary physical custody of xxxxx at a particular time may have telephone contact with xxxxx at least once a week at that parent's expence, at a time mutually agreed upon by parties.


#1 in the first paragh should it mention anything about the modification the courts made if no then if bm wants to change it to at least twice a week then should it.
#2 From there to right before Transportation should anythig be rewored differently ( bm wants us to send the medical records to her visvera thats way its worded like that)

#3The bigest thing is transportation it is a nine hour drive one way thats why we are meeting the day after school is released for certatin periods, and not for others. The only time as of now bd wont meet is Thanksgiving because if we meet the next day we'll that day it Thanksgiving...........that may seem unfair but.........we are not asking she is.  Plus on certain visitations (the reasonable part we want to keeo the same with the ncp at the time being responsable for transportation). They have alway split her christmas vacation transpotation in the odd years,she picked up at beg. he did at end.
No time for pick up's/ drop off's are in the current co and we would like to add them.
Should any of that part be reworded in any way.

#4The stipulation we want in to cover our butts, we know there are emergancies,etc but..........you never know. Should that be reworded.

#5 How can it be worded that everything else in the current co remains the same.

I know this is asking alot but this is the best place to get help so if anyone can help thank you.

My husband has life insurance through gaurds, he had bm as benificary (sp?)at one time until they split, I am now, and his mother is if we both go. Bm states she will get it all if he shall pass because they have ss together. Is this right? I thought it went to the benificary that is state on the policy.  She also told me she would get all claim to s.s. too and the children he and I have would not. They were never married, I am his first wife, and he is my first husband. Is this correct?  I was told ss would have a claim, but she wouldn't since they were never married.
I though some on here would now about this kind of stuff.