SPARC Forums

Last night, I took my son to a birthday party for one of his classmates. When I got home, there was a message from son's dad. He called at 6:11 p.m. to say that he was headed to his first daughter's musical, and he had a last minute thought that maybe Zachary could go with him. Sorry it was so last minute, blah blah blah, but he wasn't sure if even he was going to be able to go, blah blah blah.

First off, does he think it is nice to always be hearing the things he takes time off from work for, or makes time for, when they are for his first child, but not for our son? Like he could make it to her dance recital but not to the memorial service for our son's grandmother (my mom) to be supportive of son? Or to son's back to school night? Or to parent teacher conferences? Or to birthday parties? And now he calls last minute to see if he can go with him to daughter's musical? (And, for the record, had we been home I'd have been thrilled to say "yes! come get him! He'd love that!")

Oh, but wait, this is the same guy who wanted me to reduce child support (again...we did that last year too) so he could work less hours to spend more time with our son (so he says). The same man to whom I offered to reimburse him for wages missed for hours not worked if he actually took extra time with our son...and he never responded. Seems to me he's able to make the time and make do financially with less to attend some children's events just fine. I guess there just isn't enough left to go around after he's invested the time and money in the others?

I know...I sound resentful and petty...but I am just so tired of our son coming last. No, I don't really expect it to ever change. But there are times I really wonder why he bothers with being on the scene at all.

--------------------

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

Amy,

you've been at this for how long???

at least you understand what's really going on.

be happy that you are the primary residential parent and give that child of yours a great big hug!