When we went through getting her on state medical they wanted to go after him for child support, however, unless there is a paternity test and I push for support they don't bother and he skated through w/out being forced to prove paternity, yet. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with the fact that we were legally seperated with a divorce in progress before we ever learned I was pregnant. I was in the military and "had the flu" for so long that my command actually made me see a doctor...Even the doc thought I had the flu. Then my ex bought a test and sure enough it said I was pregnant..Then I went and got blood tests and they confirmed. By then our divorce was so close to final that maybe that's the states issue with it.
Either way I don't mind...Money's not the problem.
I don't want to force anything on him either way. I did decide to email him pictures and just give him an update on her progress as far as speech and abilities and such. You know, how well she does her ABC's and whatnot. I sent him her pictures from Christmas and left it at that, I didn't say anything to him about visiting her or what have you. So far no response but I only sent it last night, I just figured that'd be the right thing to do-he missed Christmas so he should at lease see pictures of her going bonkers with wrapping paper. I also wanted to re-open the door, in that sense, because as I said, I'm not aware of anything happening to make him uncomfortable or angry enough to stop seeing his daughter.
When I move, I never had the intention of making him suffer because of my extreme distaste for california...I had talked to him about moving in the past, he had even mentioned following to stay near our daughter, I never had an issue with that. I know that his girlfriend took serious issue with him not taking the paternity test and still comng to visit his daughter and such. She got really angry and they split up for a whlie over it...Now she has moved in with him and literally all that happens in their apartment is a lot of things not proper for a child to be around. My daughters dad agreed that was the case and has not been arguementative at all about me asking that he not take her to his home anymore.
In any case, as I said before, I've always had an open door policy when it comes to my daughters dad. If he wanted to visit all he had to do was show up...or call...or whatever. Neither my husband nor I had an issue with him coming around, in fact he even kept a car he was rebuilding in our garage for several months...We asked him to remove only because we needed to be able to pull our cars in at night for a while thanks to the lack of trust we had during my husbands custody battle with his kids mother. Her very violent (and drug dealing) boyfriend had made some pretty serious threats to us or to other people about us...So there just wasn't a lot of tension when it came to my daughters dad and us. There were some things that did get me upset a couple of times, and when all was said and done we talked them over and hashed out our differences and it never hindered his and her visits. That wouldn't change with a move, a good portion of my family lives in california as does all of his. We would be here a lot, if not all of us at least the kids and I as their mother lives here too and none of our kids are old enough to travel alone nor will they be for a few years...
In any case, thanks for the advice, if he does finally start seeing her again I think that I'll do that, just to avoid any potential drama. I'll keep him updated whether he sees her or not, in any case.
Either way I don't mind...Money's not the problem.
I don't want to force anything on him either way. I did decide to email him pictures and just give him an update on her progress as far as speech and abilities and such. You know, how well she does her ABC's and whatnot. I sent him her pictures from Christmas and left it at that, I didn't say anything to him about visiting her or what have you. So far no response but I only sent it last night, I just figured that'd be the right thing to do-he missed Christmas so he should at lease see pictures of her going bonkers with wrapping paper. I also wanted to re-open the door, in that sense, because as I said, I'm not aware of anything happening to make him uncomfortable or angry enough to stop seeing his daughter.
When I move, I never had the intention of making him suffer because of my extreme distaste for california...I had talked to him about moving in the past, he had even mentioned following to stay near our daughter, I never had an issue with that. I know that his girlfriend took serious issue with him not taking the paternity test and still comng to visit his daughter and such. She got really angry and they split up for a whlie over it...Now she has moved in with him and literally all that happens in their apartment is a lot of things not proper for a child to be around. My daughters dad agreed that was the case and has not been arguementative at all about me asking that he not take her to his home anymore.
In any case, as I said before, I've always had an open door policy when it comes to my daughters dad. If he wanted to visit all he had to do was show up...or call...or whatever. Neither my husband nor I had an issue with him coming around, in fact he even kept a car he was rebuilding in our garage for several months...We asked him to remove only because we needed to be able to pull our cars in at night for a while thanks to the lack of trust we had during my husbands custody battle with his kids mother. Her very violent (and drug dealing) boyfriend had made some pretty serious threats to us or to other people about us...So there just wasn't a lot of tension when it came to my daughters dad and us. There were some things that did get me upset a couple of times, and when all was said and done we talked them over and hashed out our differences and it never hindered his and her visits. That wouldn't change with a move, a good portion of my family lives in california as does all of his. We would be here a lot, if not all of us at least the kids and I as their mother lives here too and none of our kids are old enough to travel alone nor will they be for a few years...
In any case, thanks for the advice, if he does finally start seeing her again I think that I'll do that, just to avoid any potential drama. I'll keep him updated whether he sees her or not, in any case.