SPARC Forums

It's hard to even start. We caught SS12 abusing DD5 two nights ago. SS12 states it was the first time and that he has not done anything like that with his other two sisters at his mom's house. I do not know if I believe him. His relationship with his mother has become lately weirdly close compared to SS11 relationship with her. When we go to pick them up she will hug SS11 but clings to SS12 for what feels like forever. She had manipulated SS12 back during the divorce to not even come see his dad for a long time. She was abused as a child as well and is very open (as well as her mother who the kids spend a lot of time with) about her sexuality. She was separated from her husband for about 7 months about lived with her mom with all 5 of her kids. She had a lot of different guys during that period that she was "hooking" up with. I don't want to think SS12 has been abused himself but I think it could be highly likely. I just want to protect my little girl and now it has become a full time job just making sure they are not in the same room together by themselves, I don't care if its just the kitchen. My life is flipping upside down right now and I hurt so bad.

I realize that you are probably in shock and feeling a little numb right now. However, if you do nothing, there is the high possibility of him abusing other children. You cannot keep them apart forever; you will slip at some point.
How will your SS get help unless you report? You need to have your DD in counseling immediately.
By not reporting the abuse of your daughter, you are telling her that it is OK to be abused. She was the victim here. But your SS may also be a victim. You will also be telling your SS that there is nothing wrong with what he did. And don't believe him; there are probably others.
If you can't bear to report- and not reporting may cost your custody of all of your children- then take her to a mandatory reporter. Doctor, nurse, EMT, teacher.