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If no change in circumstance has happened, it doesn't matter if they try to discredit you.  No change has happened, so none of it matters.  Her pregnancy can't be used since it occured after she filed the motion.

Ok, so first let's deal with the motion to modify the original order.  In order for that to happen, the petitioner must show that a "material change in circumstance" has occured.  There's some confusion about what this actually means.  This site has a good article on the subject that can be found here:  http://deltabravo.net/custody/circumstances.php (http://deltabravo.net/custody/circumstances.php)

So, unless that test has been met, you can expect that the judge won't approve any changes.  You should bring this up right out of the gate and ask that the case be dismissed because no material change in circumstances has occured.  The judge will probably hear both sides before determining whether or not that's true... and then after hearing everything should deny her motion.  (I say "should" cause anything goes in family court.)  Focus on that issue.

Regarding your side...  I would ask for supervised custody exchanges.  That way she can't deny you, and if she tries to upset the child before the exchange it will be witnessed and reported to the court.  You'll probably have to pay - but in this case I think it would be worth it.

If her lawyer is as slick as you say, I would ask for a court reporter to have a transcript of the proceedings (if it's not automatic where you live).  If the judge approves a change to the CO with no matertial change in circumstances you can appeal it.  But you will need transcripts.  Judges are a lot more cautious about what they say or do when there's going to be a record.

Yeah... there must have been a little bit of time in there where no fighting was going on. 

Go back and ask the judge for specific pick-up and drop off times, and make a specific location.

I also recommend that the person who is beginning the parenting time pick up the child.  So, when their parenting time ends you pick up the child; when they start visitation they pick up the child.  It reduces lateness because no one wants to miss out on their parenting time.

There's really nothing you can do about the grandparents picking up or dropping off.

No one ever said it was.  But just because he's not doing what he should doesn't mean you no longer have an obligation to do what's right for your son.  If it will help your son grow up happier with fewer problems why wouldn't you want to?  Quit worrying about what he should or shouldn't be doing and look at your own actions.

Like another poster said - a good parent makes sacrifices for their child.  Trust me, we've all done it ourselves.  No one here is expecting you to do anything we don't do ourselves.  It's not easy to do when you have an ex that you disagree with.  But we do it, and we make the best of it, because we love our kids and it's what's best for them.

She can't dictate to you what pictures you can put on your facebook.  Just do as the other posters advised and make sure she can't see anything on your FB page. 

You, your fiance, and anyone else she's contacting about this should just put it on "ignore" and don't respond to her about it. 

Does BM have a lawyer?  Who filed the original motion, and for what.  Are there counter motions?

I agree.  Her posts are typical of a hostile-aggressive parent, who is willfully alienating her child from his father.  This type of person does everything they can to make the other parents life miserable, to push them away from the child.  Then when the other parent backs away to protect themselves, or because they can't deal with it anymore, the alienating parent points the finger and says they're a bad parent.

We've all seen this before.  I feel sad for the child who is stuck in the middle.

A conviction for contempt of court doesn't mean anything will happen to her.  In most cases she'll get a slap on the wrist and be told not to do it anymore.  You can also ask for additional parenting time to make up for what you missed due to her refusals.  You can also ask for specific sanctions should the denials continue - such as having to pay for your attorney fees should she be found in contempt in the future.

If she continues to deny visitation, after several trips to court, you might have a chance at getting primary custody.  But nothing is set in stone, and it all depends on the judge and the specifics to your situation.  The thing is, for family court to actually do anything, you have to move all your pawns to the right places.  That usually means documenting everything, and several trips to court so that the judge sees the history in the file.

I know you don't want to waste money, but the longer you do nothing the more empowered she will feel.  If you have a specific CO and you have documentation of the denial, you really don't need an attorney. 

Is phone communication covered in your CO?  If not, ask for it while you're there.  If there's nothing in there about bad-mouthing, ask for that as well.

Lots of people here have experience with denied visitation.  What do you need to know?