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I am the CF of my 7 year old daughter. We live in Texas. The BM has a drug problem and along with it comes abuse/neglect issues. BM has been on supervised visits in the past and I served her in April to modify to get her back on supervised visits. After mediation my attorney advised it would be best to wait on a hearing until she gets back on the drugs. By the time we got to mediation CPS had closed the case,she completed their safety plan, had two clean drug tests, got an apartment, etc. Since this is not the first go around with this and she is like closk work I anticipate she will be back to her old tricks by December. My concern is Texas has a mandatory 45 day wait until a hearing is scheduled and she always manages to get clean during that time but then go right back to it. Does anyone have advice on what I need to get a judge to see this isnt going to stop. What kind of evidence do I need? Since my lawyer is paid for it I am to call him when I am positive she is back on the drugs and living that life. I know I have to report things but I have to be careful because everytime she gets reported she learns a little more about the system and how to beat it. Has anyone else had this type of problem? What advice can you give me to help put an end to this?

I am also the custdial father and have these same issues. You can roll the dice in court and probably have a good case but nothing will change after. There is a reason you are CP and I wouldnt expect her to ever comply. She gave you her goal of all this "you arent going to control her" I hear this from my ex all the time. In time your child will get tired of missing out on everything and listening to her pitty party. Women like her (and my ex) are self centered and want to be in control of the situation. When there is no drama or game left in it she will hit the road. In my experience I win the contempts but she doesnt change so now we go specifically by the court order, when there are extra activities I ask her in front of the child if she will take her (then if she doesnt take child it is her lie), I follow the court order to the letter and she follows none. I have also been burned on the compromising (extra time) but I learned my lesson and now she gets nothing extra. Unfortunately some parents only care about themselves and someday the child will get tired of it.

There seems to be more to this story. If abuse/neglect was never substantiated then it shouldnt be hard to modify. I dont know what state your in but evidence cant be introduced twice. Generally you cant talk about things that happened prior to the last court hearing. If nothing has happened then you should be able to modify. A natural parent has preference over a grandparent unless there has been something substantiated at the time.

The problem is in family law you can only go from the date of last court orders. Nothing prior to that can be brought up. The orders werent signed until after the incident therefore it is considered in the time frame of last hearing. We dont get to choose mediators here. There is one facility and it is whoever is up when you schedule. He was a horrible mediator (retired circuit court lawyer) but it doesnt matter because when I get to court the judge will throw that out. I opted to vacate the motion and let BM get back on her drugs then take her back. The lawyer is paid so whenever I am ready.

I went through this during the first few years after divorcing husband. DH has still never paid one dime over child support (hasnt been faithful with support either). I decided that I would pay for whatever my boys want or need and will never ask or depend on DH. It actually works out great. I dont have to listen to lame excuses,poor me stories, and there is nothing for us to fight about.I also went through the certified letter game. For two years I sent cert. letters (medical bills,school functions,doctor appts,insurance papers,etc). He picked up the first letter and mailed mine back to me by certified mail then he never picked up another one. After about two years of this he decided I was in contempt and filed. When we went to court he was liable for every dime of medical bills and premiums (over 5,000.00) even though he didnt pick them up. Your orders dont state ex has to pick them up just that you have to send them. The judge also added interest,increased child support,put restrictions on visitation, gave him 30 days in jail, and cited him on four contempts and of course the contempt against me was unfounded. Basically just do on your part what your orders state and realize you cant control the other parent. I also always remember that family law judges have seen 100 people before your ex that have tried the same crap (trying to get out of being a parent) and they get tired of it and know the game better than the ex does.

I went to mediation last week (served BM with motion to modify seeking supervised visits). I took a big blow. A lot of evidence cant be used due to timing. Went to court last November but judge didnt sign orders until January therefore all of the abuse,CPS reports,safety plans, and safety plans cant be used against her. It is frustrating to be told even though you child got abused and neglected and it is proven you cant mention it. Now we have to vacate the hearing and give her another chance to abuse/neglect (and go through the horrible process of proving it). Life seems to work out for the drug addicted criminals. this isnt the first substantiated abuse/neglect or positive drug test.

I am assuming you have no court orders yet. If the child is school age you can call the superintendent of the districts she may be in until you locate him. If you have no orders once located you can technically take child because neither of you have custody over the other by law. I had a similar situation and I used the internet to find BM. Anywhere you can post the message and give her name post it. People will give you details if they have them. If she has any kind of proffessional license you can find her that way. Court documents are public record and if she updated address with other father it will be in court records. You can also find out through DMV her last address reported for drivers license.

Does anyone know how to calculate child support in texas? NCP BM has 3 children with 3 fathers. 1 child lives with BM and other 2 children live with CF. How would I calculate it?

CPS sent a letter stating they couldnt substantiate the abuse (we arent concerned with them because the child has told her counselor. CPS is not reliable and the courts hate them in this town)

We dont have a court hearing yet (she was served in April but the courts are backed up so I am waiting. A mediation is being scheduled soon only because the courts require mediation here)

Her positive drug test was in April (three days after I served her to go back to court)

I am not concerned with the court case. This is the third time to take her to court in 18 months and the third positive drug test in 18 months. I have a lot of things against her and I am pretty confident there are going to be some changes and more restrictions. I am just tired of following court orders and she does as she pleases and will not take care of her child.

I live in Texas and have served NC BM to go back to court for supervised visits. Since we havent been to court yet BM got 30 day visit this month. CPS closed investigation on BM last week and now she is nowhere to be found. While CPS was watching her she moved into her daddys and played the game. She has moved 4 times since last court hearing (Nov. 06), had 3 different men live with her, and yet another positive drug test. She is obviously getting back into the drug lifestyle and drugs (I have done this with her for 5 years she's like clockwork). I know I have a contempt for change of address but is there anything else I can do. I am concerned because of the type of men she associates with and what may be happening to my daughter. Why is it I have to follow every court order but she can do as she pleases and continuously put child in harms way and nothing seems to happen?