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Messages - FireFighterDAD

#11
Child Support Issues / Re: Are braces elective?
Feb 19, 2011, 06:47:57 AM
Thank you all for the great advice (again)!  I will contact the orthodontist to see if this is necessary but even if it's not if they can make a payment plan low enough for me to manage each month I will find a way to swing it so that my son can get his teeth straightened.

I like the idea of having my account separate from my ex wife largely because she is notorious for making late (or missing) payments and I have spent to past 5 years trying to dig myself out of a lousy credit rating due to those actions on her part and I really don't want her dragging my credit back down again.

I'm thinking that if my account is separate from hers that even though both accounts are going toward the same patient's braces if she is late in making payment it wont affect my rating.  I hope that's the case.

Thanks again everyone!

FFD
#12
Child Support Issues / Re: Are braces elective?
Feb 18, 2011, 11:54:12 AM
Sorry, I wasn't clear--she is asking for $2,400 from me total, but over $1 k to start with.

I looked over my order and there is not specifically concerning orthodontia, just dental.

I will call the orthodontist and ask for the specific reasons for needing braces -- if it's purely cosmetic or not.  My ex is required by the order to provide me with the name of the medical professional and the order entitles me access to all information so that shouldn't be a problem.  We have joint custody and I can bring the order with me.

My son is almost 14.

Thanks so much for all of the help!  You guys are great!
#13
Child Support Issues / Are braces elective?
Feb 18, 2011, 09:53:58 AM
I am dealing with a visitation order violation issue with my ex wife so she is already very upset with me.

She sent me a note today stating that she took our son to the orthodontist and gave me a number (over a thousand dollars) that I will be responsible for since, according to her "orthodontist falls under dental".

If I had the money to pay for braces for my son I would go for it but my salary is not high and I have zero dental coverage myself so I can't get any help from that.

I had always thought that braces were an elective/cosmetic procedure, at least in most cases.  My son's teeth are not straight but there isn't a problem with chewing, etc.

If I'm required to pay then I'm required to pay and I can go apply for a loan.  If I'm not required to pay and she wants to go forward with it I can always contribute what I can even if it's not all that she wants.

I am interested to know if anyone has dealt with this issue before and if braces are required to be covered in the same way that dental expenses are?

FFD
#14
Kitty, me ex wife actually had the nerve to laugh in the face of one judge.  That judge put a 24 hour jail term in place should my ex be found guilty of violation the order again.

SS, my new counsel is pretty wise and has found a way (will post details after to help others, don't want TMI out there in case she reads here) to address this prior to the actual denial.

Our order is clear cut and I am even willing to give up one of my weekends so the fact that my ex won't accept that and wants it all her way should shed some light on her general attitude towards my visitation.

Thanks for the replies.  I really DO NOT enjoy any of this, despite having a strong case in my favor.  To my way of thinking a document that spells it all out in black and white is pretty simple to follow--especially when one party (me) is willing to compromise.

FFD
#15
I posted here in the past and gotten so great help.  For some reason my account wouldn't work and I had to register again.  Anyway, my ex wife is again refusing to follow the C&V order.  It's a very clear cut order.  I get 2 weekends per month and the visitation schedule is to be created around my work schedule because, as a firefighter, there are only 2 weekends per month that I do not have to work.  I understand this can be frustrating for my ex wife but it's the job I've had all of my life, which includes all of our married life (20+ years) so she does understand that my schedule is not my choice.  She has access to my schedule more than a year in advance.

She wrote to "inform" me that she will be taking our son to Florida on vacation in May 2011 (he is 13 and school is in session) and she is taking him over the 2 weekends that I would be able to have him for visitation, which means I would not get to see him at all in May.

Per the order we each get 2 vacations per year with him--Summer for 10-14 days and "Other" for 7-8 days.  She states in an email that she is using "10 of her 14 days."  The problem for her is that summer vacation's start and end dates have to be agreed upon by both parties.  I do not agree to her dates as they would prevent me from having visitation.  The "other" vacation would mean that she would have to return with our son in time for me to have one of my visitations--that is why the judge wrote it that way.

I'm willing to compromise and give up one of my weekends, but not both.  My ex wife wants it all her way and won't agree to that.

My counsel has advised me that my ex wife will be found guilty of violating the order (she has been found guilty before).  He has also advised me not to let her run up my bill by having her counsel contact him over and over (that has happened before too).  She asked for his info to send to her counsel and I told her to send it to me and I would consult with my counsel if necessary.

I am really hoping this is the LAST time we have to return to court over something that is so clear cut.  My ex wife keeps saying that the order is "just a suggestion."  I respectfully disagree--it is a legally binding document.  I am so tired of this.  The stress is not anything that anyone needs and I always hear from my children when something like this comes up so I know that she is sharing with them.  Sigh...

FFD