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I am the custodial step parent of my SD12.  She has not seen or spoken to her mom for over 1 year.  My DH and I would like her to be able to have a relationship with her mother, but it is not acceptable for her to go 'hang out' at her moms house.  BM has an order for Supervised visits due to alcohol abuse and neglect.   A family member who lives with SD's mother molested SD.  I really want SD to have contact with her mom, but her safety is #1.  Her mom so far has refused to come to the supervised visits.  She said she cant afford them.  My DH is thinking about sending SD's mother a letter offering to pay for the visits for a few months, if she comes consistently for say 6 months he will consider supervising the visits himself in the town she lives in so she does not have to travel so far (she doesnot have a car/DL so she has to take the bus)

Does anyone have any suggestions or would anyone share if they had a difficult situation where they were worried about the childs safety, how they maintained the safety as well as the relationship between the child and the parent.  We are at a loss for what to do and SD is really missing her mom, and her mom is making no effort to help the situation

So my SD asked BM today on the phone, (this is the first time she has talked to her in over a year) if she would be willing to sign a passport application so SD could go to Mexico with my family, DH (her father whom has sole physical custody of her and joint legal, only because he agreed to it in mediation because he never imagined having this problem)  and I. BM said no, that we were planning on taking her there and not bringing her back, or leaving her there. We would never do either, my family is all from the US, we have no ties in Mexico, we just want to vacation there. BM has no tangible evidence and could never convince a judge that we were flight risk. DH said, fine F her we are going back to court asking for sole legal custody so we don't need her signature. He does not think it will be a problem since BM has not seen SD in 16 months and has not contacted her in any way in over a year.

So....we need to write a statement as for why we are requesting sole legal custody. Anyone who might be able to help us write a statement, please post ideas you might have. FYI we are going to do this with out an attorney. BM will not have an attorney and is REALLY ignorant, she is a druggie type, no job, never paid support ect. I was so pissed she said no, I told DH we should go to court and have her parental rights terminate. (I did not mean it, I just said it out of anger) But It really would not matter because BM NEVER contacts us or has any consern for SD.