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As you may remember, I live in Virginia.  He has been served for motion to amend custody for his two sons.   I asked about my best line of defense and you said I have not provided facts of his opponenets allegations.  Thats it, really, there are none.  She stated in her motion that she has their two (half) siblings living with her, and her home is "more suitable".

So my question is

1)  Any ideas what I am walking into for a 7 minute hearing on Monday?

2)  How do we appear more suitable than her?

As always, THANK YOU!

I live in the State of Virginia along with the BM and the two children the BF has custody of.  We (he and I the live in girlfriend) have had the boys ages 13 and 11 for 3 years.  She gave him custody after 2 or the 4 children were proven to not be his and she could no longer care for all 4 of them financially.

The BM has recently gotten married, bought a home, and quit working.  She has served him with a motion to amend custody and support based off the fact that she is financially stable,her home is "more suitable", and has their 2 siblings (half) living with her.

There have been a variety of things that have happened in the last three years that were not in the best interest of the boys, such as letting the 13 yo drive the car in a parking lot, locking him in a car and refusing to bring him home when they had a disagreement.  Allowing the boys to jump off a second story deck onto a trampoline.

We have a 7 minute hearing on the 26th of July.

1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as required by Virginia law to change custody.

2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on other such court precedings?

3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the 26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the last year that show her house to not be in the best interest of the boys.

I hope I have posted this correctly your advice is much appreciated!

Thanks,

I live in the State of Virginia along with the BM and the two children the BF has custody of.  We (he and I the live in girlfriend) have had the boys ages 13 and 11 for 3 years.  She gave him custody after 2 or the 4 children were proven to not be his and she could no longer care for all 4 of them financially.

The BM has recently gotten married, bought a home, and quit working.  She has served him with a motion to amend custody and support based off the fact that she is financially stable,her home is "more suitable", and has their 2 siblings (half) living with her.

There have been a variety of things that have happened in the last three years that were not in the best interest of the boys, such as letting the 13 yo drive the car in a parking lot, locking him in a car and refusing to bring him home when they had a disagreement.  Allowing the boys to jump off a second story deck onto a trampoline.

We have a 7 minute hearing on the 26th of July.

1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as required by Virginia law to change custody.

2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on other such court precedings?

3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the 26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the last year that show her house to not be in the best interest of the boys.

I hope I have posted this correctly your advice is much appreciated!

Thanks,

heart of the problem is total disreguard for the rules.  He is not only acting out at home, but has been suspended from school for fighting, and skipping.  He is 14 and thinks he is making the rules.

I live in the state of Virginia, had a HORRIBLE custody battle some 3 years ago.  Live with a man who has custody of his two sons now 14 and 16, through the custody battle she got JOINT custody we retained physical custody. We (being dad and I unmarried).

We have now had the boys, along with my three daughters for some 6 1/2 years.  His youngest son is really starting to test the boundaries of his father and I.  He has run away twice, we have called the police both times.  The first time he ended up at his mothers house at 2 in the morning.  We never received a phone call only to find him in school the next morning.  

He ran away again Friday night, Dad called mom and asked her not to take him (the son) in and call if she had any information.  She called and said she had heard from him (the son)  but refused to give Dad the number in which he called from, yet she did call him on three way.  Dad put the police on the phone to mom she said she had no knowledge, and preceeded to bash dad.  

Question in all of this is, because the child is having growing pains...... is that grounds for change of circumstance?

thanks for the advice, will NEVER stop documenting, I truely believe thats what saved us here.  I had been keeping track long before she ever filed for the change of circumstance.

She got Wednesday nights, we started them immediately instead of like the judge said in three weeks.  BM told BD today she can't make it next week. She who wanted them, can't manage to do it two weeks in a row GO FIGURE!

Thanks!

Court was yesterday and dad won!  Judge saw no reason for a change of custody.

BM did get Joint custody, which only gives her access to school and medical records which we never had a problem with anyway.  She got set visitation which she didn't need she was able to see the boys whenever she wanted anyway.

So alls well that ends well.

I hear she is filling an appeal, does anyone know what that means? Does that mean a new trial? Is an appeal a guarantee or does she have to meet certain criteria to get one?

Thanks for your ears and kind words!

I can tell you when BM filed for us, all the papers said was change of custody

then it had a few lines to write why she wanted the change of custody and she wrote

she had a better house for the children

she also filed papers to ammend child support as she wants the boys so she shouldn't pay child support.

If you ask the clerk who you got the papers from she/he should be able to help you fill them out, although can't give legal advice.

To change custody you will almost HAVE to have a lawyer.  

GOOD LUCK to you and your SD.

lol thanks for the smile,

Some will probably remember others choose to block it out haha.  Court date is finally approaching.

BF has custody, BM wants them back after 5 years.  She has remarried and lives a "better" life than before.

Court is May 31 and I am more than scared.  He and I are still unmarried by choice, GAL says that doesn't matter.  GAL and SS both have said they see no reason for a change of custody.  GAL called BM and told her that their was no reason for a change.  BM sent SS home (it was her weekend, and she blamed him for the GAL saying there was no reason for a change, clearly he didn't do what she had told him to do and say)  that weekend, and told him to never return.  Which for the record he did go back on the next weekend that was hers.

Any words of wisdom for in court?  A few prayers would always be helpful as well!  Thanks, for always putting up with my endless STUPID and repeditive (sp) questions!