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Does your family court website have a list of criteria when determining custody?  At ours we have the 12 custody factors that they basically go down the list and choose a parent that either "wins" the point or it is equal.  After all 12 have gone through, the parent who "won" the most factors is generally awarded custody.  The factors in our state include the capacity to care for the child's medical, schooling, etc.  It also has the "moral fiber" as one and so on.  Some are considered ties such as they both have love, affection and emotional ties to the children.  My list shows the factors and explains them.  I would go through each factor and write down how you personify it with your child.

nope our court here in california doesnt have any criteria just the "BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD" with my situation i think i have a good shot of keeping the custody coz i had them for 4yrs straight already, same school district, same house, ame doctor, same set of friends..if u dont mind can u pls post the link of the 12 criteria so i can make notes from that and use it as a reference when i go to my mediation and trial..thanks a lot!!!

Getting close for my mediation on the 20th..im just trying to gather up my thoughts and my papers...Im just going there with the facts and reality that i was taking care of both my kids for the last 4 yrs..and i should be the full physical custodian of both my kids...thats it!! comments and suggestions are more welcome..

GOOD JOB!!!! I cant also wait for my time to come...very stressful process..im glad yours is over...

All i want is SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY and if i can get the LEGAL too why not? coz i dont want her to disrupt the kids school and life..her life is so miserable i dont want her to drag the kids with her..she doesnt have a permanent place to stay, she has a newborn baby, NO JOB for 3 yrs now, on welfare, got busted for methempethamine..i dont know whats wrong with the judge why she got that rediculous amount of support..because she's unemploted? or she's a loser? im just gathering up all my ammunition for my mediation and for my trial..any suggestions or comments are more welcome..

Whats next?? i just got a letter from my payroll department and they're taking away $854 a month on my paycheck for the temporary child support..that is so rediculous..she hasnt even seen the kids or took care of them..I still have them from day one she took off 4 yrs ago...i have a mediation on nov 20th and trial on dec 11th, can the judge order to return all the money that she recieved coz she didnt take care of the kids..this is my and the kids rent money...im so lost with this..pls help!!!

It's not the fault of your payroll department, it's the fault of whoever issued the order.

If you currently have custody of the children, under no circumstances should you be paying child support to the mother.

Do you have an attorney?

I know its not the payrolls fault, its my ex who enforced it its a pendente lite order from our first OSC..i dont even know why did she enforced it and she knows that i have the custody and she doesnt even call or visit the kids..she's not following the court order..all iknow that all she wants is the support money..she dont care about the kids..she abandoned them 4 yrs ago...i dont have a lawyer.. too expensive and i cant afford it from the very beginning, ishe had a lawyer before but the lawyer quit on her now she's also a PRO-PER...hopefully on the trial the judge will see where im coming from..i dont think he look or read or ask about our situations...

Whats next?? i just got a letter from my payroll department and they're taking away $854 a month on my paycheck for the temporary child support..that is so rediculous..she hasnt even seen the kids or took care of them..I still have them from day one she took off 4 yrs ago...i have a mediation on nov 20th and trial on dec 11th, can the judge order to return all the money that she recieved coz she didnt take care of the kids..this is my and the kids rent money...im so lost with this..pls help!!!

I think you are getting lots of good advice here.  And unfortunately nobody can give you any sort of idea what the outcome may be.  We can't say 50 50 chance or 90% likely or anything.  Because we just don't know.

I certainly understand your worries and need to find some answers, but the answers are really only going to come from the mediation and the judge.

I don't remember, but are you doing this without a lawyer?

Have you filed a motion for Sole Physical custoday since the 50/50 earlier this year?

I can't remember what others have said, but I'd look into filing for Sole Physical Custody now if you haven't already.

Keep us posted.

YES!!! i did file for a SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY thats why we're going for another mediation and trial after..this time Im not going to be the Mr. Niceguy who gives way to all her request, I will be firm on my sole physical custody and then ask the judge to review my child support order coz its to high and i have the kids 100% of the time..all i know is she's trying to screw me up and the kids by asking or taking money from me for the support..my PLAN-B is is the child support is still gonna be still the same $850/month i will tell her ok u want that money? take care of the kids and house them, take them to school and maintain their current lifestyle, with that rediculous amount of support i wont be able to pay our rent, i rented this place coz its the best environment for kids, best school district, best neighbors and neigborhood, 2 miles away from my work etc..if the judge didnt change the support order, i got myself ready and prepared for the worse which is give her the kids and i will just take them on the weekends and holidays and i will move to a lower rent area that i can afford..feel free to respond or comment on my case..thanks in advance...i really dont want to lose custody of my kids but the support is killing me and they dont even wanna go with her or even see her at all...

You just want primary custody...even if it is joint is not the end of the world. If it is joint she has a say if you wanted to change schools or dr appointments...but they live with you and it would be a joint decision.
With you having them for 4 years, you have a high shot of keeping custody. You can also say that you would like the child support to reflect the custody as it is making it harder for you to keep up with the kids cost. Why are you paying that much again? Is that temp support ? Why was that ordered if you have kids?

that was only a temporary support order while our case is in litigation "PENDENTE LITE ORDER"..i have No idea where did the judge get that figure, coz during the first OSC that she filed we agreed to 50-50 i think thats why she get that kind of money but since that order pushed thru she only saw the kids twice for 5 hours each visit..so i re-filed for another OSC to modify the support and custody, we went to another mediation and the mediator's report said clearly in papers " THAT THE FATHER WILL HAVE SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY" went to court when the judge is about to finalize it she didnt agree to it now we have to go to another mediation on nov 20th and a trial on dec 11th, i dont think the judge put an IMPUTED income whe he did the numbers on support coz she's unemployed and just dont wanna work at all...the judge also ordered for our next mediation that make the kids available at all times for the mediator or evaluator, the kids are 13 and 11..so what do u guys think?

You can make a year calendar and make all the days you had the kids blue and all the days she saw them in orange....
Great picture all in one shot so they can see.

Can do the same thing for phone calls...if you kept records...

Just say "I have been the primary parent for the last 4 years. Ex left the home and did not return until XX. In the 4 years she has called the children XX times and saw them XX days" Since the court papers have been filed she has seen the kids XX times and called XX times. I have been the kids primary parent since XX month, XX year and have done all the school events, activities, and dr appointments. They are both doing well in school. I want to work with XX to give her ample time to see our children but at the same time give them the stability that they need."

Also fit in there that "last week that she filed for a TRo that was denied" (not sure how to word that part)>
You can have a little speech ready in your head to say...sometimes you will be able to speak...others times..judge will just keep asking questions...some of your speech can come out during those questions...

So with my situation what are my chances of getting "SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY"? pls somebody be honest; is it slim to none? 90%? 100% so I can get myself ready and the kids for the worst...also she's killing me with false accusations and temporary support, i nver got credit for taking care of the kids for 4 yrs..gimme a break..if i lose this case i dont know what to do anymore, i will lose my kids, money that i barely make and evrything coz my kids are everything to me..if she keep on pushing the $850.00/ month support she moght as well take the kids in her apartment coz i wont be able to afford the rent..thats why i rented the place is for me and my 2 kids for them to have a secure house and environment..i wont be able to afford it anymore...pls help!!!

I have one more question...Like what I wrote earlier that the kids stayed with me for the last 4yrs 100% of the time..how do I present my case to the mediator and to the judge about it..or how am I going to let them know to just follow "STATUS QUO"..Im sorry im just totally lost when it comes to this custody,divorce and child support legalities..