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Messages - nemesis68

#1
I have posted previously about issues with my children and it has taken a turn for the worse. My last post was about "forcing my daughter back into school". I won't go into details but my oldest daughter (16) has completely turned against me as she has now came over to my with BM and attempted to cause damage to my home and belongings. Although I could have had her arrested, I did not ... she is going through enough already and doesn't need this added on.

The reason I ask can you have a lawyer removed from a case is this ... the BM lawyer is also her Father. There is currently a CPS investigation being undertaken as we speak and I have had to issue an arrest warrant for the BM as she has phoned and threatened me several times since start of investigation. I'm sure her Father will defend her on the arrest warrant so my question is are there any grounds for having him removed when and if I have to go to Family Court for custody of my youngest daughter?

He has been involved in all her cases since the beginning but now with impending charges and others against her that i'm aware of, is conflict of interest enough grounds to have him removed from any impending court matters in regards to my children?
#2
DROOGLE, CPS is a no go. She is 16 now and has the right to drop out if that is her choice. Even were she not, as stated in one of my earlier posts, she had missed many days during course of school year prior to her pregnancy. Found out that there is a little known law on the books that states a child has to "only" attend school one day out of every 28 to avoid prosecution. Again, as long as custodial parent doesn't seek assistance with that child, my hands are tied. Even sicker still is that for that one day, a child merely has to report to school yet never attend any classes and the cycle starts over again. This is state regulations that determines how the school districts receive their funding based on number of attending children in school.

Tried several times to have emergency Academic Intervention program started for her but as I was the only person who attended any of these meetings. nothing was/could be done. This program included counselors, psychologists and workers from the CPS who were aware of the situation but yet no one intervened beyond looking at me. I attended these meetings and even signed my child up but can't force her to attend.

I doubt if she will get much if any support from the BF of her child as from what i'm told, my daughters BM has not allowed him to see the baby nor does he work to the best of my knowledge. Have no grounds with which to threaten to stop support, nor is that ever easy here in NY. I had 3 modification cases thrown out because the referee didn't think my petition was worded correctly. I have no desire to return to court any more, too much bs, i'd rather just pay the money and do what I can to make sure my children have a fighting chance at a decent life.
#3
TO ksmarks, thanks for the advice and info. As for the PINS program, I can't have it enforced or executed as long as her mom acknowledges that she is aware and approving of her missing school. Before becoming pregnant, she was in jeapordy of not being able to qualify to even receive any grade in school due to her absences. Went through all routes to end this ... school district, school board, city council etc ... but again being non-custodial parent my rights are limited even though I have joint legal custody. Primary residence is with mom so i'm over ruled on these matters mostly.
I'm hesitant to force a court issue as this may cause my child to further alienate herself from me and no matter what her decision is right now, I know she will need me at some point so i'm trying to keep all doors open for her to come to me when she is ready. Also appreciate the offer of speaking with her directly but at this point in time, I doubt she would,  she barely speaks to me when it comes to this matter. I actually had her in a program for young women that encouraged her education that was conducted at the University of Rochester headed by a former high school principal (a family friend) but she bailed on that. The head of the program tried in vain to reach out to her on many occassions but she just avoided all contact with her. Again, thanks for the advice and offer, I had to see what other ideas anyone may have had. Thanks to all
#4
To Ocean ... all you said is true which i'm aware of. Unfortunately BM is not on board with my feelings about our children, never has been which is why we rarely speak. As for support question, I do pay full support but that is a non-issue for me .. the money means nothing to me if my child suffers, I only want her to have best possible chance at succeeding. I have talked with her about returning to school, but she pulls away mainly because she knows i'm not going to agree with any other option and so she gravitates towards mom who sides with her.
Kitty, that is my stance at this point but it doesn't make it easier to accept. I agree that she is old enough to know what is right and wrong and I have to let her learn from mistakes, but if possible this is one i'd like to help her avoid.
#5
Unfortunately truancy laws can't be applied. Here in NY, as with several states that i've found, as long as the custodial parent is aware of and allows/excuses the child from school, there is nothing that the police can/will do. Spoke with district officials, city council and several others on this matter and the answers were the same. There is a program here called PINS much like you mentioned but because she doesn't live with me, I can't legally enforce or implement it. I'm also at a cross roads as to how far I want to push this issue with her for fear of my daughter completely abandoning our relationship but I know how important it is for her to have some form of education, especially being a young mother raising this child alone.
As a side note, I know nothing of the father of the child as my daughter and her mother have refused to speak with me on the matter since her pregnancy. BF of baby is no longer involved to the best of my knowledge and worrying about him or support for the child is moot point as he is most likely young teen also unemployed. Besides, support will not help either my daughter or her baby in the long run as she will need an education to care for the both of them more than what child support will provide. The father is not an issue for me at this point, only my daughter and grand child are.
#6
Hello to all. I live in NY and my question is concerning my 16 yo daughter TJ. At the age of 15 she became pregnant and her mother allowed her to drop out of school without finishing the 9th grade. As it stands right now, there have been no plans or decisions made for her to attend any type of night school or tutoring beyond the one she was provided with during pregnancy. Since the tutor stopped, TJ has not attented any classes. I have pretty much given up on this school year as it was too late for her to catch up, the baby was born in August. My question is are there any grounds that I can set stipulations for her return to school even though she is 16 and has some legal right in our state to drop out of school short of emancipation (something I will not consider or do).

My court order is basic in that it covers mainly financial and visitation, I never envisioned one of my children not finishing school. So there are no references to schooling or the like. Also, since becoming pregnant, TJ has also chosen to avoid me at all costs, at one point I had not spoken to nor seen her for over a year even though I still spent time with her younger sister. This was by her choice along with her mother's coersion but since the birth she has sporadically spoken with me. Are there any grounds with which I can proceed to have her required to return to school as I fear for her ability to care for herself and her child as she gets older without at least a fundamental education?