My wife called me from a payphone telling me she filed for divorce. I need help. Anyone in the St. Louis Area, i need to talk to someone knowledgeable.
I cant go a day without seeing my daughter.
I am so scared right now.
How long can she keep her from me?
I have never been violent to anyone.
Please! I need help!
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/firstaid.htm
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm
And most of all: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/protect.htm
Freeze all joint bank accounts
Freeze all joint credit cards
Find an attorney TODAY
File for custody EX PARTE today!
File a TRO TODAY!
DO NOT move out of the house!
Stay away from alcohol, drugs, etc.
Good luck!
Kent!
Also, take copies of all financial stuff, tax returns ect, pack an overnight bag and keep these things at a friends house.
DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE stay. If she wants to leave let her BUT tell her the kids must stay. No matter how horribe it gets DO NOT leave the marital home until forced to by the courts.
do as Kent said above.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
What is the TRO for?
It is not a TRO against her presence, it is a TRO against her taking the child(ren) from the residence.
Kent!
Ok, so here is the situation.
I do not want a divorce and i do not want anything on record that says i am ok with that.
My goal in all of this is to have my girl back in my home. My wife as well.
I love them both to death and fear that my wife may be manic depresive.
I am very affraid of filing anything.
Luckily we are broke, so she cant run with money.
I do not know where she is and have no way to contact her. I do not want to get the police involved maybe because i am naive, i just dont want this to go wrong and am very nervouse.
It has been 30+ hours now since i have seen them. I am not sure but in missouri i think that if she takes my daughter out of the state without my permission, there is legal recourse i can take.
If there is anyone i can talk to that is knowledgeable about the law, i would love to call you.
I have tried to contact a few lawyers but when i say im poor, they hang up.
Thanks
-
Mike
You are really setting yourself up to have not only your wife out of your life, but your children too. Please take the advice given on this board VERY seriously. Many of us have gone through what you are and know what we would if we could do it all again.
Find your wife and your kids. Call her family. Call her friends. Protect yourself. Don't leave the house. Document EVERYTHING that is going on as if you were ready to fight for your children's lives.
Friend, you may not want a divorce, but you can't stop it if she is going for it. Cover your butt and get all the paperwork rolling ESPECIALLY CUSTODY. You don't have to sign a divorce certificate if you don't want to, but it will be your undoing if you don't watch your back.
You have to get your kids back. If she has them out of your custody for any period of time, you may lose your right to tuck them in at night. Also, not to be mean about your wife, but she is an unstable person. To be able to pick-up and leave like this is NOT normal. You do not want your kids to be left alone with her at this point any longer than they have to. Again, of your ex shows that she cares for them independently and gets her divorce, she will be the one raising them. Not sounding very good.
If you have legal questions, go on the dear socreteaser board. He is very helpful and VERY truthful. You may not hear what you want, but 99% of the time he is right on.
I made the mistake of thinking my wife would change her mind when she did this and I did nothing. I now haven't seen my son since 7/10/04.
There was a website somewhere (I'll look for the link) that explains how to get a police report filed for a missing person (your child), and to get the law on your side right away.
DON'T SIT AROUND WAITING, DO SOMETHING, NOW!!!
Hey Mike please wake up! The family court system will screw over 99% of the male population. Please get with the program!..... fact:
... The system does not treat fathers on equal footing. It is severely slanted towards mothers. The Family Court has long been infiltrated by chivilous male judges and radical feminist female judges.
... Even men who are not fathers are charged with punitive CS awards against them... it is called paternity fraud.
... Servicemen who defend our freedoms will come home to find their family destroyed, life changed to the point where they are now criminal simply because their ex wanted a no-fault divorce over their objections and they were not allowed equal protection under the law.
... Most men did not walk out on their marriage.... 80% of divorces are filed by mothers and for reasons amounting to a "growing-apart" or "looking for greener pastures". Politicans, the media and society still blame males for every ill of divorce despite those facts listed above. Ask any politican for help and the standard answer is "There is nothing I can do to help" ..... simply because you are male and it is not PC.
... The system is set up along standards that favor mothers while discriminating against fathers. They call this gender neutral, LOL!
... The default ruling is usually sole custody to moms whenever mom asks for it. All she has to do is incite that the 2 of you don't get along even if the main reason is that she is trying to rip the children out of your life. Your life will become sabotaged in the worst way if you dare go down that road!
... PAS! I don't even want to start on that subject, OUCH!
... I can go on and on and never write enough about the injustices suffered by non-custodials (mostly fathers) and their children... but stay here longer and learn before you become a statistic like the many before you. I suggest you read every single article on this website. I wish I did before I became a seasoned veteran by default. Learn before you are forced to live the horror! Don't get me wrong... there are many great mothers in this world. But the system will lead so many of them along a path of golden dreams (and big government), turning them against what is really in the best interest of their children ..... Since when is the presumption of joint custody not in the best interest of the children?... Only when the role of fathers becomes marginalized and demonized. Already has :(.
I was once in your position and thought very much like you. But there is no way one person can "object" to his own divorce... The divorce will happen even though there is no wrong-doing involved..... I know... and you will be blamed regardless. I ended up being nice to the point where I was taken advantage of and now I have to take this extreme injustice with my children and myself to my grave.... DON'T GO THERE! I see it all the time and it is worse than hell. You and your children don't deserve it either. You will not be treated any better than any other disenfrachised father... You will become a statistic..... DON'T!!!!!!!!! Listen and act accordingly to protect yourself and your children!
My sincere & humble greetings go out to everyone here, especially Waylon, Childrenfirst, KND, Socrateaser, ~Chills and anyone I else I have missed through the recent years.
Thank you all for your help and advice. Unfortunately i could not find a lawyer who thought it was worth anything to file anything today (holiday... they all want to get out of the office im sure... i dont blame them). I will have to wait until tuesday.
As it stands, i have no clue where my child is. I am not even sure she is in the state. I have an idea of 2 place she might be. Tennessee with my wifes mother (who despises me) or one of my wifes older friends who lives a few miles away. I have dropped off letters, a pre-paid cell phone, cash and flowers on the friends doorstep. I am not sure she is there.
3 people today told me to file a Ex Parte. I dont understand exactly how that works or what i need to do but i am researching it.
I havent slept or eaten in 2 days and i am starting to feel shakey.
I still dont know how i am going to afford these lawyers.
the going rate arround here is 250.00 dollars an hour.
Is there a fund or organization that provides assistance to people in my situation ?
Mike,
If you are "low-income", you may get some help from Friend of the Court. But don't count on it.
Ex Parte means an immediate emergency hearing without the other party present. Difficult to get unless you can make a plausible argument that your child may be in danger.
Keep in mind: your wife will screw you over in any way she can, and no place sees more lies than a court room. I.e. tell the judge that your wife is mentally unstable, and has mentioned to harm your child when in a situation like this.
Ask for the world, settle for less. Never ask what you want, because you won't get all you ask for. Ask for more to leave room for negotiations.
And yes, $250.00 is a reasonable fee for an attorney.
You can also go to Socrateaser's board and ask him how to file for an Ex Parte yourself.
Kent!
Mike,
This is a woman talking. Listen to what the posters are saying here and follow their words to the letter.
You sound like a nice guy. Chances are, being a "nice guy", you'll be relegated to every other weekends and rotating holidays if you do not do EVERYTHING in your power to start sending paperwork flying through the courthouse.
A lawyer is not a supreme being. If a lawyer tells you that he doesn't think something is worth filing, then you walk down the sidewalk to the next lawyers office. And the next. And the next. You are not at the whim of a lawyer who obviously doesn't have time for you. This is a business relationship where HE/SHE works for YOU, and does as you request. They are there to guide, not to disregard.
You may not want a divorce, but she does and that is all that matters right now. The memory of love that you have is going to be your undoing if you do not, from this moment on, think of this as a war. You, Mike, are getting ready to be erased from the picture. Don't doubt it for a moment. She's already gone who knows where. Let her do it long enough and not file papers to say "WHOA-WAIT A DAMN SECOND!" and you will be viewed as apathetic to the situation.
You'd be suprised how much money you have when you need it. Get a cash advance on a credit card. Take out a loan on a vehicle. Go pawn everything pawnable you have. Sell your grandmother's prized china that you inherited. What I'm getting at is this: If you every needed to throw all your pennies into one pond, now is that time. Yeah, you'll be eating macaroni and cheese, baked beans and ramen noodles for the forseeable future, but your child will be smiling at you from the other side of the table, enjoying every single bite.
You are now fighting your soon to be ex wife for a relationship with your daughter. It's going to be a long hard battle. She's already made the mistake of taking off and denying you what is your right---to raise your child together. Make it tick you off. Dwell on it. Fight for your child as if
your life depended on it. Right now, having your child IN your life depends on what you do RIGHT NOW.
Good Luck,
FLMom
Call the police! File a missing persons report. Get a report number. Find out if they are out of state and if so, get the feds involved.
I agree. Call the Police and file at the very least a missing persons report if not outright KIDNAPPING. I am NOT kidding! Youcan drop the charges later if that is appropo. However, she HAS kidnapped your child. The sooner you treat that as such, the sooner you will get assistance from the authorities. THis is very very serious sir! TREAT IT LIKE THAT! IFight this battle to WIN. Otherwise you are at a very real disadvantage.
Best of luck to you!
Danae