SPARC Forums

Hi again everyone
my son resides with his BM in another state from me though I do have him 6 months of the year for the past two years. We have joint custody of him. Can I legaly take him to a doctor in my state, without have to get prior permission from BM, I had no say in the Dr that she takes him to and dont agree with most that I hear from them, so would like to get a second opinion of my own for him, he has autism and I dont believe everything the BM is telling to Drs to be true and correct. Any help would be much obliged, thanks.

I can't imagine why ANY mother OR father wouldn't want a second opinion on something like that!

Unless your order specifically states that you can't, it shouldn't be an issue.  Now, I would notify her of the appt, the how, when, and whys, but there should be nothing stopping you if you have joint physical and joint legal.  Also, I would suggest that you get records transfered to your doc and to the one at her home so that no one is in the dark about what is going on (your doc might miss something if they don't have the records and full history and the same can be said of the one that she chooses.)  Good luck to you!

Joint Legal for medical, then YES you can take the child for non-emergency evaluation on your time. Make sure you get a full copy of the other doctor's records and take them with you to the appointment.

Be up front with the 2nd opinion Dr. that you are seeking a second opinion. Offer the other records when the Dr. Asks, but be clear that you want an INDEPENDENT opinion.

And yes, you will have to notify the other parent. If you notify her with little notice, there is little chance she will/can interfere. However, this will likely have negative effects on your co-parenting with BM. You will have to weight the benefit to your child of the second opinion vs. the risk of the goodwill of the other parent.

Keep in mind, that the second opinion is for the child, not for your peace of mind. Address the issue as if you are trying to see if there are any other therapies/treatments that might benefit your child that the current doctor is not aware of.

It has to be all about the child.