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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: liknunotha on Oct 09, 2007, 11:40:37 AM

Title: I'm lost
Post by: liknunotha on Oct 09, 2007, 11:40:37 AM
my wife resently left me and she took my three daugther with her. I have anger issuses and I'm trying to get help with it, but I've put them throught so much already. but I've changed so much too. is it selfish of me to want her to come back? I want to be the best dad, but I do have a lot of issuse that need to be changed. do I let them go , or do I fight for my kids and her if she will come back? I can't give up my kids. they are my world. what can I do to get the help I need?
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: mistoffolees on Oct 09, 2007, 02:02:47 PM
Get yourself in to see a good counselor. It's impossible for anyone who is not intimately familiar with the issues to suggest what you should do. Even a good counselor can't make that kind of suggestion, but they can help you to figure it out for yourself.

If you can't afford a counselor or your insurance doesn't cover it, talk with a priest/minister/etc to see if you can get some help and advice.

Good luck.
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: liknunotha on Oct 09, 2007, 06:44:57 PM
thank you
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: Hawkeye on Oct 09, 2007, 09:14:45 PM
Visit //www.Iowafathers.com.... <--- Find yourself here. We're with Ya'all.
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: LT Cole on Oct 10, 2007, 10:26:01 AM
get yourself into counseling, this will show your willingness to put forth the effort...and while you may never get your wife back, you can ask for supervised visitation of your children...

if you can prove you want it and are willing to work at it you might just prove to her your worty of that time

good luck
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: liknunotha on Oct 10, 2007, 12:04:21 PM
thank you all very much. I have made an appointment to see a counselor. I just hope she will take me back. I have been looking online and I think I might have PTSD. either that or I'm bipolar. My father is bipolar, and I didn't want to think I do. but maybe I do. GOD I hope I'm not. why would she want to come back to someone who is messed up for life?
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: LT Cole on Oct 10, 2007, 12:50:23 PM
the great thing about most mood disorders, is that there are medications that can be perscribed that can even out your mood swings and stabalise you.  yes it means taking medication for the rest of your life, but it also means you can get back to being you instead of being someone ruled by a chemical shift of the brain!
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: LT Cole on Oct 10, 2007, 10:26:01 AM
get yourself into counseling, this will show your willingness to put forth the effort...and while you may never get your wife back, you can ask for supervised visitation of your children...

if you can prove you want it and are willing to work at it you might just prove to her your worty of that time

good luck
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: liknunotha on Oct 10, 2007, 12:04:21 PM
thank you all very much. I have made an appointment to see a counselor. I just hope she will take me back. I have been looking online and I think I might have PTSD. either that or I'm bipolar. My father is bipolar, and I didn't want to think I do. but maybe I do. GOD I hope I'm not. why would she want to come back to someone who is messed up for life?
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: LT Cole on Oct 10, 2007, 12:50:23 PM
the great thing about most mood disorders, is that there are medications that can be perscribed that can even out your mood swings and stabalise you.  yes it means taking medication for the rest of your life, but it also means you can get back to being you instead of being someone ruled by a chemical shift of the brain!
Title: RE: I'm lost
Post by: mistoffolees on Oct 10, 2007, 01:05:31 PM
>thank you all very much. I have made an appointment to see a
>counselor. I just hope she will take me back. I have been
>looking online and I think I might have PTSD. either that or
>I'm bipolar. My father is bipolar, and I didn't want to think
>I do. but maybe I do. GOD I hope I'm not. why would she want
>to come back to someone who is messed up for life?

Don't get too excited about self-diagnosis.

There are two common fallacies:
- thinking everything you read applies to you
- thinking that nothing you read applies to you

Let the counselor do the diagnosing - otherwise, you'll waste emotional energy on something that may not even be real - and you need to reserve as much energy as you can.