I have JLC of my 3yr 4m old daughter. Do I have any rights over the decision to have my daughter properly immunized under the state guidlines? Health records show that she had her first round of shots during first 2 months of birth......but nothing afterward. I confronted cp over this matter several times and was promised that her shots would be up to date by the time she was 2. However, nothing has been done. I will get my daughter caught up on immunization shots by myself if I have to during the E/O weekend schedule that I have custody but I am concerned of a few things. if I did this against CP's will, I would have some serious drama to deal with and more legal problems. I'm stuck on what to do...that is, if I can do anything. CP has only said that she's afraid that our daughter might get sick or even die from an immunization shot. I'm sure everyone has heard the controversy over that. This has nothing to do with religion or serious health risk, just getting our daughter in school on time. Is it possible I could get custody due to the lack of CP's intrest in our daughters health. Health records show nothing after 2 months of age other than 2 emergency visits, 1 for an ear infec. and 1 for a virus.
Others can tell you about the custody angle, but so far as the shots, as long as you have legal custody you can get them. What is the exact wording about health care in your CO? No school allows a child to be enrolled without updated shot records.
So far as the child becoming ill, at times they may contract a cold from the immunizations, but they do NOT die. If they are allergic, then your child could have to go to the ER but thats about it.
I have joint legal custody. The CO only states that I am obligated to pay for major medical and health ins. Which I do. CP stated that she intended on signing off on a few shots. What shots, I don't know. CP has bipolar and is kind of nutty at times. But I can't prove anything. So would it be smart for me to take this to a mediator first? Is this something that can be taken in front of a mediator? Or should I go ahead and do my thing and take alot of fodder from CP? Any takers? lol
Frankly, I think you should take them to the dr and get their shots, it is more dangerous for them not to have them. as for her 'signing off' the shots, she can't a nurse or the dr has to sign the shot record and they will write the date on it.
Here's another idea. You said the child has not been to the doctor to your knowledge. If you have joint custody go to the local pharmacies in your area, hopefully not too many and ask for a list of the medications your child has been given since birth. With Joint custody you have the right to do this usually. After you get the list it will also tell you the doctor's the child has seen, etc. and you can go from there about contacting them.
I think you have no choice than to act in the best interest of your child and get these immunization. Usually with JLC, you can seek medical attention while the child is in your care. The longer you go along with this, the longer you also add to the negligence.
Your child will get these diseases without these shots. Your child could die without these shots. There is no substantiated link to autism, illness or mercury poisoning because of these shots. The viruses in these shots are dead. Most shots administered are single unit doses without mercury. Even if there was mercury, it would be so minute that it would out of their system with 1-2 months. You stand the chance to get more mercury poisoning by consuming albacore tuna more than once a week.
Your child stands more of a chance of inheriting the bipolar disorder from their mother than from anything from immunizations. So she gets pissed, so she takes you to court.....so what? How would that prove that you did something negligent and not in the best interest of your child. It wouldn't. She'd look like the idiot.
Send her a fed ex letter (people often refuse certified). Inform her that based on your JLC, you will be taking your child to update their immunization and that you're doing this as a responsible parent who's acting in the best interest of your child.
Thank you, thats exactly what I'm going to do, and exactly what I think. I guess I just wanted to see someone else post what I have thought all along. Although I'm still concerned over the effect of the relationship I have with our daughter. CP and her husband are going to go nuts over this. I mean they crapped their pants when I trimmed my daughters bangs 1 weekend to get the hair out of her eyes. So if I start recording their reaction to this I might eventually get a chance at custody? maybe?
You should be recording at all times anyway. Not only will it possibly give you a chance for custody at a later time, it can also save your behind if they start throwing out accusations of abuse.
I agree with the recording....for your own refernce and use. It's against the law to tape another party without their knowledge, but it wouldn't hurt to document her and save it for prosperity.
Custody of children is all about control and punishment. Much more, IMO than it is about their best interest. That's why many of us are here with their problems.
Unfortunately, your Ex has enlisted her new husband as part of her entourage...ergo, validating everything she does to you. I agree, trimming bangs is not a big deal and justified. Ignore them and act sincerely for your child. Always take the higher road and treat the other party with respect....although it may not be earned...it will reward you in the long run. Some day your daughter will have her mother's number and be able to see the forest for the trees....and the games she plays.
If your attorney is still on your dime....just drop him a memo and make him aware of the issue with the immuization and what you're doing to cover your butt.
>
> Always take the
>higher road and treat the other party with respect....although
>it may not be earned...it will reward you in the long run.
>Some day your daughter will have her mother's number and be
>able to see the forest for the trees....and the games she
>plays.
I 've thought that from the beginning. I just haven't come to realize that people can act the way they do. Or maybe its the whole bi polar thing. Any how, this whole thing is bigger than just the shots; even though thats the most important issue to me right now.CP is bi polar, like I said, But I hate to give her an excuse for her actions. We were never married although CP was and still is. CP can't think for herself so she relies on her husband and father to do it for her. As a result, I didn't get to be in my daughters life until she was 9 months. I had to deal with alot of mind games but I just pushed forward in court, which was my last choice. SPARC did help me to inform myself before I made the choices I made. I've tried to record exchanges before but its hard to hear because we meet inside a mall. CP won't budge on that one. I have other problems, like missed birthday time and a day short on my summer vac. with our daughter. I refuse to argue and try to explain to CP what the CO means, but she refuses what I have to say and stands by her husbands explaination of the CO. (which is written very plainly)How can I record these missed times?
file a contempt motion for missed parenting time.....every time. eventually, I hope, it would piss off the judge and reflect badly on her. I wish we had done that during my husband's divorce proceeding but our atty discouraged us. I think it was a huge mistake.
It gets expensive. Maybe you can file these motions on your own. Ask for a bond to be placed on mother, held by court. If any visitations are missed, she forfeits the bond.
Your a kind man to rationalize this with her BP and her father and husband controlling her. But you have to draw the line in the sand and say enough is enough...it all stops now. We are all here for the same reason....BS by CPs. I don't know why they do it. I don't know how they can look their children in the eye and say I love you and in the same breath screw the NCP in the name of their child...using their child.
We drew our line back in February. We allowed the mother to move from MI to NY (we're in IL) in exchange for JLC rights and privledges (no title though). The first thing we did at the winter break was take my SD to the eye doctor and dentist. As a 6 y.o., she had never been to either. Been telling her mom that her teeth bother her and she can't see at school.
Teeth were in horrible condition, one needed to be pulled, eyesight was -200. Mother stroked to hear what we did. Said we were trying to make her look negligent (well...if the shoe fits) and look like a bad mom. Mom was more upset that she didn't get to pick out her daughter's glass frames (something that a mommy should do with her daughter....WTF?????) than she was about her daughter's poor vision.
Mom's atty called my husband's atty. Atty phoned me and I told her, per my DH, she should take better care of her daughter. If she won't, he will, he's got the CO to do this. End of story. Go back to court, change the CO.
It was a very liberating time for us. This was the first time we told her to pound dirt. Enough kissin' her butt. It's gotten us nowhere in 4 years. You know what though, much less BS since we did that and drew our line in the sand.
sixstringdad....as my grandma always says, you gotta lie down to be a doormat. as long as your MO is sincere for your child and in your child's best interest, follow your heart and do the right thing....for you daughter. everything else will fall into place.