We just got a call to give us a brief synopsis of evaluators 30 report.
Here goes:
BM has severe psychological/psychopathic problems, she is a threat to society. She has severe BPD and Antisocial Personality Disorder. She abuses the court system to get her way and is a threat to DH and the children. She has proven deceptive on all the tests and in verbal examination. The children were obviously coached when in private interview. BM met SF in a chatroom while he was under house arrest for DV and spent time in prison for DV, weapons assault, arson, etc. and traveled 100's of miles to visit/meet him. She believes in him even though he is currently on probation for patronizing a prostitute during the marriage. The 2 personalities together create an enormous risk to the children.
He added, DH and I are in a very stable relationship but DH is somewhat self-centered with extreme anxiety which is likely, at least partially caused by the actions of BM. DH has consistently worked on his issues in continued thrapy. BM was most probably severly mistreated as a child and in any relationship she is likely to be abusive. BM has a total lack of regard and the children should be removed immediately awarding DH full sole custody.
OMG I can't believe this, this guy saw everything that was going on, he didn't miss a beat. The best $4,000 ever spent. (she paid for half)
The irony of this whole thing is BM brought DH to court to have his rights revoked because he has "OCD" which is not true, not even a mention in the report. And it was BM's lawyer that requested the forensics evaluation be done in the first place. I bet their kicking themselves for this one.
KARMA!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
When do you get the kids? Like YESTERDAY?!
Frame that baby and put it somewhere! That is great! When does the judge get to see it????? When do the kids come to you? Do you just need to call CPS and show them the report or what????
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Good for you! I know what it is like to start thinking no one else will ever see the craziness.
Is a forensic evaluation the same as a psych eval? Daughter is going to court for pretrial next week and this is what they are requesting the ex go thru. She understands she will probably have to do it also. I want to make sure I tell her the correct teminology to use when requesting this.
Your husband's ex sounds like a female version of Daughter's ex. He too likes to abuse the courts and police to his advantage and to harrass!Unfortunately he is working on marrigae # 3 in 3 yrs so he is not avail at moment but will be within the yr,lol!
She is currently NCP due to ex forging modification of custody papers and her not discovering it for 15 months! Long involved story.
Thanks for any information!
Congratulations. I hope it the kids adjust quickly. DOes she get visitation? Please tell me it will be supervised!
But my last question is, does this evaluator travel? I'm in Ohio and I need an evaluator that can see those same things about DH's ex.
Thank you!
The trial was originally scheduled for 9/27 but was postponed due to the delay in this report. We still must go on with the entire trial set for 10/27. If this isn't enough for the judge I'm going to supreme court.
Nothing is set in stone yet, but we're a whole lot more confident.
The evaluator was recommended from the GAL and requested by BM's lawyer first. We thought he was a wise choice because he is a police psychologist and teaches for the FBI in like 30 countries. Given the SF background we thought someone in law enforcement would be best. I do not believe he travels.
What I believe proved to be most helpful was the 14 page chronology I sent over prior to the 1st interview. Although they do not read it until the end, he had it for review with the 100's of pages to back up everything we said. I started with a chronology of the facts that we could prove. I later summarized some here say and some facts. We were easily able to prove that each time she failed in court or did not get her way she filed charges against DH or his truck was blown up or CPS was called, etc.
During the last interview we were allowed to share with the interviewer what we wanted. We brought tape recordings of BM violently threatening me in front of the children, of BM thretening to have DH arrested if he picked the kids up on his weekend. He could not believe the language they used and his persona change immediately.
I also did all kinds of searches on the SF aside from the criminal check, he was married 4 times(the evaluator doesn't believe 2nd marriages work), numerous orders of protection that were or almost were obtained against him, etc. I'd be happy to send over my info after the trial if that helps and give you info on the website's I used for my background checks. I got some of them off of webdetective so I'd be happy to share.
The most important thing was we were completely honest and offered the evaluator what ever he wanted and they were not.
And a forensics evaluation is very different from a psychological evaluation I'm not quite sure specifics but I know there is info on this site.
start with this one
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/evaluations.htm - size 16kb - 20 Oct 2003
If in Columbus ohio, DO not got to Dr. Tannenbaum. He will side with the BM and doesn't not see PAS as a problem.
Stoneburner and Lilly Does recognize PAS.
Congrats!
For what it's worth, my attorney told me that sometimes attorneys know that their client is a nutjob and potentially harmful to the kids, but they still have to advocate for their clients. He said that a "legal" way some of the more ethical attorneys try to really help the situation (despite that their client may be the evil one) is to suggest an evaluation. That way, they still have to advocate for their client, but they've pointed the direction of the case to uncover what they already suspect but can't tell anyone.... and it's still truly acting in their client's interest if an evaluation can be the catalyst to get the client into therapy/treatment for his/her own good.
I wondered tht myself. I'd like to believe this lawyer has some ethics but seeing his actions on BM's behalf it is highly unlikely. We actually were forced to bring a sanction motion against him for illegally obtaining my husbands medical records 3 weeks after the judge told him not to. The GAL is at her wits end with him as well. It is of our understanding that BM's lawyer went through an extremely bitter divorce and it comes out in his cases. I would not be surprises if he had not given some very poor advise to BM, i.e moving the children a 6th time in two years w/o any knowledge to joint custody DH just weeks before a custody trial.
Their digging a whole.
Please excuse me he did NOT put my husband on a pedestal stating he had extreme bouts with anxiety, showed compulsive tendencies, often self-centered and viewed himself as a victim even whiney at times but he was not OCD and of the same threat to the children as BM.
I just hope we got a judge with a little guts, but even then there will likely be violence and criminal acts taken against us. It will be hard on the children, hard on our relationship and our unborn child,but I'd rather that than see these children in jail or worse in a few years which is bound to happen even the evaluator thinks so.
Regardless of why the eval happened, it seems like you've got a slam dunk here.
It's not going to stop the kids' mom from being who she is, but at least you'll get court orders with much more bite and legal protection for you and the kids.
DD
Congrats. Our situation seems similar in many ways but thankfully not so violent and dangerous.
I have one question for you...How long did the whole process take? We are starting month eight and though each parent has sent an occasional letter (last one about 2 weeks ago) about new situations arising we haven't heard a word from him or had to go in for a meeting/testing since June.
Congrats on your pregnancy. Take care of yourself and your baby!
It was 6 weeks of evaluation, 1st 3 weeks DH met with evaluator for an hour each week, 4th week for 3 hours, 5th week a playsession with DH and the children and the 6th week was me/SM for 45 minutes and DH and myself to tell him what we thought he should know. BM did the same. It took him a little over a month to process the report (which we were told is quite fast) during which time we left him a message on one occassion informing him of a unilateral 6th move BM made with the children and only informed us a week after the evaluation and I sent him the transcript from our latest criminal trial where the judge state BM was shifty and her testimony was racked with inconsistencies.
I would'nt just call the evaluator for any reason as SF did after he felt he made a bad impression which the evaluator equated to BM's interference and sociopathic tendencies. Everything this man did was for a purpose. He messed up his waiting room a bit to see if DH would fix up, BM said he had severe OCD. He put BM and DH in back to back meetings so they would run into each other and see their reactions. He had camera's everywhere and we were under constant surveilllance. I find the process kind of facinating.
Now, we are not entitled to see this report by law. A few people read us bits and pieces. So there are at least 18 pages that we have not heard and probably never will. I do hear that those 18 pages get's more involved with BM's pyschosis and her danger to the kids and I believe we heard the worst of his findings on DH. Anxiety, hey, I've got tons of it, even more so since all this crap started, so I'm not at all worried.
I hope our judge has the guts to make this change as even the evaluator stated the children will very possible wind up in the system, the criminal system themselves if they are not out of this situation.
He stated and I agree that whomever gets physical custody will be the sole decision maker that joint custody simply can not work.
I hope you are right! And I hope we get some legal protection, up until now when the BM would walk into a police station, cry that she was terrified of DH they listened only to her side when we brought them proof she was lieing they said "tell it to the judge" and horrifingly DH would get arrested. When DH or myself would tell the police SF or BM threatened us with tape recorded proof I'd be lucky to get an incident report. There's nothing we can do, they'd say!
I'll be honest with you I am afraid of these people they have no regard for the law, they have no conscience and feel no remorse. It frightens me when the children don't show empathy for our pets or other people. We have installed surveillance cameras outside our home. We have requested, even in court papers, for a year now that BM and SF have no verbal contact with us that everything must be handled via fax, email or written certified letter yet SF just called the house last week to tell us they will not allow the children to spend Halloween with us. Halloween is quite sometime away, their was plenty of time to send us letter. Mind you this same SF testified in court in August that DH had threatened him over the phone. We requested all pick-up and drop-off be done at the local police stations but if they get there before us they corner us in the parking lot.
First we must get the judge to write this into an order. Second, someone must enforce the orders.
The evaluator stated BM was unlikely to ever follow court orders and must be punished monetarily for her actions, we'll see if this will work.
He also stated if a transfer in custody does take place it is likely BM will become violent for whomever she feels is responsible and not just her but her sick husband and just as psycho family.
We have a responsiblity to these children, to not doom them for life and help them, become the very best human beings they can be. I just hope someone starts watching out for us.
I'm down in Cincinnati. Mom has tried PAS but thankfully the kids were old enough that it was never fully successful. But mom has a serious case of BPD, but she refuses to ever see counseloers/psychologists, so we've never gotten it diagnosed. But on those little tests where they say if you have 5 of the 9 symptoms you're probably BPD, she's generally got 8 of 9. Problem is we don't have the money to fight this unless we know the psychologist is really going to look at the fact and understand PAS, etc. Thanks!