A dear friend of mine is embarking on a potential custody battle with his STBXW to gain custody of their 6-year-old son.
The mother is chronically mentally ill (schizophrenia), and recently the child started having trouble in school. His therapist has also recommended the child see a child psychiatrist. It is well documented that children of mentally ill parents have significant problems.
Has anyone gone through a custody situation where mental illness is a factor? Would a Guardian Ad Litem and/or a Parental Evaluation be appropriate here?
The man is a wonderful and caring father, and would allow generous and frequent contact/visitation with the mother when she was well, but would limit contact when she is ill.
Help!
Cat
Personally I would stay far far away from a GAL...
The most effective thing I have seen for families with mental health issues is the use of a forensic psychologist to do a parenting evaluation.
A forensic psychologist has specialized training in making reports to the court, generally has had training in dynamics of families and is better adept at dealing with the complex issues that come in a family that experiences a serious mental health illness.
JMO
TM
"The mother is chronically mentally ill (schizophrenia)"
---Is this documented? Is STBX on medication for this condition? Has STBX had recent episodes? Please take this as my opinion but unless STBX has had recent episodes that have threatened harm to the 6yo then why would this be used against her?
"recently the child started having trouble in school"
---Is the trouble in school due to the (schizophrenia)? The trouble in school might be a temporary problem due to the fact that 6yo's parents are getting a divorce.
"His therapist has also recommended the child see a child psychiatrist."
---My DD saw a child psychiatrist for a year following our divorce. Just to deal with the divorce...it would be good thing for the child regardless of the circumstance at 6yo to have counseling.
"The man is a wonderful and caring father, and would allow generous and frequent contact/visitation with the mother when she was well, but would limit contact when she is ill."
---Is the STBX a wonderful and caring mother? Has she allowed generous and frequent contact/visitaion with the father during the proceedings?
Like I stated above... this is just my opinion but understand the other side in this situation. Now, if she was not controlled and having manic episodes then it would definitely be in the best interest of the child.
The mother's illness is well documented. She has had multiple hospitalizations (both voluntary and involuntary commitments), sees several psychiatrists and is on medication. Unfortunately, her illness is not easily controlled and the onset of menopause has aggrevated the illness. We're not talking your average upset-but-basically-normal person here. I know a lot of people throw the words "mentally ill" and "crazy" around, so I appreciate the opportunity to clarify.
The child started school (full-day kindergarten) this year. Parents have been separated for two years. Some of the child's problems may be due to the pending divorce, but some of it may be attributable to her illness. According to the child's therapist (been seeing the child for more than a year), the mother has not been cooperative and the therapist had not been advised that CPS had taken the child away from the mother previously.
The mother is a caring mother, but limited due to her illness. Her illness and medication makes her demotivated, so often the child is not bathed or readied for school in time. Her illness also manifests itself in hostility towards her STBXH and paranoia centered on him. She has shown up at his apartment unannounced (with the child in tow) screaming obscenities and behaving in such a manner that the police had to be called. She is unreliable in terms of allowing her STBXH contact with the child. Sometimes things are relatively calm, other times she denies access.
They are currently having the child evaluated, and from that, a custody evaluation may be performed.
I hope this answers your questions.
Thanks for clarifying as you understood the reasonings that I was thinking :)
"She has shown up at his apartment unannounced (with the child in tow) screaming obscenities and behaving in such a manner that the police had to be called."
--- Are there Police reports?
Document everything! There are more individuals on this board that has more experience than I do (going through a Custody Mod myself) but what I would be questioning rather than a GAL or an Evaluator is if he can get a Temp Custody Order granted on all of the reasonings above since they are going through the divorce now???
Is there a Temporary Custody Order issued yet?
Long story regarding the divorce.
Two years ago, when she was very ill, he got a temporary custody order (did not need to file for divorce in this instance). She immediately filed for divorce (had been seeing an attorney on the sly preparing divorce papers, which is very sad).
She then took the child back during a visit to the pediatrician. Sadly, my friend did not press the issue. After two years of court dates and back-and-forth, she suddenly dropped the divorce petition. They now must wait a specific period before refiling. The judge was highly irritated.
There are police reports galore documenting her behavior. When she is unwilling to go to the hospital, the procedure recommended by NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) is to have the police come. They will call an ambulance and transport the individual for an examination and possibly involuntary commitment. There are several incidents documented by police reports, including a recent automobile accident where she deliberately ran a red light because she was agitated and confused. The child was in the car.
It's really sad. I feel so badly for everyone, but particularly the child. He hears and sees so much negative right now. What is best is if he petitions for custody, but she will fight it and be very ugly. He actually developed what I think is a pretty fair parenting plan, but she will have nothing to do with it.
He's going to have to engage in what will likely be a very intense and hurtful battle. She has also threatened to flee with the child, which is a concern as well.
Thanks for understanding. The parenting plan my friend developed is quite generous--almost equal time with each parent when she is well, but much more restricted during periods of illness. Since she, like most mentally ill individuals, does not have any perception into her illness or what she is like when she is sick, she perceives this as a threat.
Has your friend consulted with an attorney to see if the Temp Cust Order would still be in place?
Temp order has expired. He really needs to pursue full custody at this point. Certainly he could get another temp order, but that is, by nature, temporary.
It is a potentially ugly and hurtful situation. The woman has threatened to flee with the child.
You need a forensic custody eval. We will be going through one shortly. It is about $1000 per person.
Good luck!
Thanks.
I just want to see this little guy in a stable situation. His mother loves him very much, but cannot care for him. He doesn't get bathed or cleaned on a regular basis, let alone has any structure in terms of homework.
Dad is willing to take full custody and let Mom have generous access when she is well; restricted access when she is sick. She does not want this, as she does not have any perspective into how bad her illness is.
Thanks.
PS: the school is doing an evaluation right now, which may help in waking the parties up to having a full forensic parenting evaluation.
Had to put in my .02. My Dh is mentally ill. Bipolar disorder and addictions. He is well now. He has been sober for almost five years. Prior to that time he was undiagnosed and of course unmediacted. the only therapy he got was D&A treatment. The average D&A counselor is NOT qualified to deal with a dually diagnosed client! He current has an excellent therapist who does D&A work as well as ofhter issues.
When we first go together I was able to have joint custody of my kids. Their dad was getting settled after the divorce. He wanted to go fishing and was dating up a storm. The kids sis welland were happy. He even used me for daycare on his days! SO I had the kids about 70% of the time.
Well, he remarried. The new wife wants to be mom to my kids as she messed upher own and wants to have another go. After all the time the kids were with us 50/50 Dh brings up thr mental illness trump card adn I loose custody. We now get to see my kids EOW and half of all summer and vacations.
I feel I was burned by the system on this. First of all, I am not mentally ill although I had to have a $1500 forensic eval of myself to prove so to the judge! Second of all, my DH is now stable. Even more so than when we had 50/50. My ex was allowed to cry "victim" and "danger" without ever having to account for the year and ten months that we shared custody 50/50 with no problems to the kids.
In the forensic reports Dh's condition is outlined in full detail with everything spelled out abput whay can happen during a manic episode. Yet the psych testing of the other parties is not clearly detailed at all. When I requested to have the results reviewed by someone other than the professional who conducted the testing the court would not allow it even thoguh te evaluator never gave scaled scores or any other objective measures. The eval just gave thier own rahter biased opinions on the effect that bipolar can have on a family. Geesh, my ex is very controlling and manipulatve. There was no opinion about what the likely effects of that would be on adolescent children. The eval also interviewed Dh's therapist. But he did not state what they had said. Everything was favorable. But that isn't noted. What is nothed is that the kids say they saw beer cans lying around my house. Dh offered to take periodic randon urines but the eval never states that in his report and it was never done. Yet it was taken as gospel truth that the kids saw all this alcohol around my home. It never said what the supposed effect on them was. They see a family counselor with us, they saw a mediator adn thier dad and I saw the mediator at least four times prior to the eval and no one mentioned these mythical beer cans. But let the kids bring them up and I do not get any more time with them because my DH must be drinking and is therefore unstable and danger to the kids. The eval never made a child line report even thoguh he is mandated as a psychologist here in PA and we have our own two kids living here full time.
As far as I am concerned forensic evals are a dog and pony show. My very manipulative ex mesmerises the evals and get away with murder.
Within three months of the eval my DS experienced unexplained weight loss. Doc diagnosed depression. Eval said he was so well adjusted. Well, now he is failing in school- three subjects. This last evl just wrapped up last August and the evaluator blasted me for not allowing the IEP my son had to be abolished. I had to fight the dad not the school to keep it. The evaluator is off the hook scott free after calling me "controlling" for having insited that it remain.
In my very humble opinion forsensic evals are at best a joke and at their worst very harmful.
The Temp order is all the paperwork that has been filed on both sides if I am reading this correctly, right?
If so, then take the old temp order and file another temp order for custody then follow through with it.
Did DH consult with an attorney yet?
To change custody, you will need more than the fact that the other parent suffers from a mental illness. Mental illnesses are controllable. You must concentrate on its effect on the child.
To seek a change of custody, a Motion must be filed along with an affidavit (a sworn statement) supporting that position.
If the matter does proceed to court, it is important to understand the standard that the Court will apply when deciding whether to modify the existing custody arrangement. Different standards apply in different states. However, there are two common elements. In almost all jurisdictions:
1. a parent seeking to change custody through the court usually must show that the conditions have changed substantially since the last custody order;
2. Additionally, it is generally presumed that the court should retain the current custody arrangement unless the party seeking the change custody demonstrates that it has met the statutory criteria by a preponderance of the evidence.
This is where state laws diverge into three general standards that are applied in different states.
ENDANGERMENT STANDARD
In a minority of states, once custody has been determined, it is very difficult to change. To do so, the party seeking the change must file a motion supported by evidence that the children are endangered physically, psychologically or developmentally in their current situation. Courts must also find that the benefit of the change outweighs any harm that would occur by the change. Obviously, this burden is very high and requires that the moving party have a significant amount of new evidence since the last custody order was entered to support their case. Any incidents or information predating the previous custody order is largely irrelevant unless it can be tied into a pattern related to more recent conduct.
Some evidence supporting endangerment claims may include:
1. Police Reports. Police reports showing numerous disturbances at the custodial parents home can be a sign of instability and may support a change of custody. This is particularly true if the children were present at the time of the disturbances
2. Criminal Records. Criminal offenses that endanger the children or that leave them without supervision can also be used as powerful evidence in any motion to change custody.
3. Child Protection Reports. Reports of abuse or neglect relates specifically to the care of the children and are often the strongest possible evidence for a change of custody where the negligence or abuse has been substantiated.
4. School Records. School records showing significant absenteeism, behavior problems or falling grades cans support claims of instability ion the child's custodial home.
5. Counseling Records. Counseling or psychological records may reveal problems in the home that lead to symptoms of poor socialization, development or depression issues.
6. Medical Records. Medical records related to injuries may point to a general lack of care and attention by a custodial parent.
BEST INTERESTS STANDARD
A majority of states use a "best interests of the child" standard when determining whether to modify existing custody arrangements. That means the Courts will look at all circumstances affecting the child and determine whether a change of custody is in the child's best interests. Even under this standard there is generally a presumption to retain the current custodial arrangement. When applying this standard, the Court is often guided by specific factors to consider set out in the family law code. Some factors may include:
1. The wishes of each of the parents;
2. The physical and psychological capacity of each parent to provide care for the child;
3. The desires of any child who is of a suitable age and maturity to express a desire;
4. The residential and employment stability of each parent;
5. Where there have been any incidents of neglect or abuse;
6. Each parents past history of providing care for the child which is often referred to as determining the child's primary caretaker.
7. The child's relationship with siblings or other in home family members including potential second family members.
8. The ability of the parents to communicate and cooperate on child rearing issues;
9. Each parent's willingness to facilitate and encourage the child's relationship with the other parent.
10. The child's adjustment to home, school, and community;
11. The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;
One of the most common questions asked is when a child can decide where they will live. In almost all states, the child's wishes are only one factor out of many and are never dispositive with regard to the issue. However, as each child matures, their wishes will carry greater weight in contested custody proceedings. There is also one notable exception to the rule. In the State of Georgia, it is presumed that a child age fourteen (14) or older can decide where they will reside. Even that presumption, however, may be rebutted with contrary evidence.
HYBRID APPROACH
In order to discourage parents from constantly litigating custody, some states use a hybrid approach which makes it more difficult to change custody shortly after a custody order has been entered. In such states for a certain period of time after a custody order has been entered (generally one or two years), any motion for a modification must show not only a change of circumstances, but also that the child is endangered by the child's current environment. After expiration of the one-or two year period, the standard is reduced to a review of what is in the child's best interests.
CUSTODY EVALUATIONS
If a Court hears a motion for a change of custody and believes as a result that there may be a basis for the change, it may require a custody evaluation performed. How each parent presents their issues in the custody evaluation can be a critical part of the cases success or failure.