SPARC Forums

Hi,
   I have a step daughter who is here on her 2 week summer visitation and has decided that she doesn't want to go home, probably due to CP's love life (boyfriend) and lack of being at home.  She has very little adult supervision (an elderly grandmother) there.  We are trying to find out what our options are, if any; i.e., can she stay or do we have to file something, does she have to go home first, etc?  Any advice or a place to go for help would be greatly appreciated.  THanks,

She cannot stay without a court order.  Your DH will have to send her home and file for a modification of the order asking for custody in the county where the mother lives.  The fact the 16 year old wants to live there will help your husbands chances to get custody of his dd.

take her back so you will not be violating a visitation order but in the meantime get a motion filed to adjust custody due to child's request.  She will probably have to talk to the judge to let them know for sure she wants to move in with you.  But if you don't go to court and get all this changed before the time you are to bring her back explain to her that you have to or her mother can file against you and the judge won't look at the change in a good light.  The likely hood that you'll get her is pretty good.  Techniqually the judge doesn't have to let her stay with you but at 16  they pretty much know what they are asking.  GOOD LUCK

Yes, the child has to be returned by dad at the scheduled time.  

How far do they live from one another?  Is she within walking-biking-busing distance?

CONSIDER THIS.....

There's a informal court saying "let them vote with their feet" (yes Kitty...your mantra).  Basically what this is saying is when a child is old enough to manage to go where they want to go, whether it's a friend's house, or the mall or dad's house....the judge should appreciate the child chose to go their on their own.  It wasn't like dad brought them there or forced them to stay.

Like the child goes to the mall on her own, would mom send the police to bring her back home?  It's not illegal for a 16 y.o. to go to the mall.  Same iwth the house, the police show up, this kid is less than 24 months from telling mom to "F" off anyway.  The child tells the police, I don't want to go to my mom's....I drove myself here.

Get it?

Post your question on the Dear Socrateaser forum for more advice.