SPARC Forums

Hello!
So here's the  basics of the scenario...my bf of over 2 years, found out that he had a daughter in Iowa when she was like 1. Mother lived in Iowa and he lived there with her until they planned to move to Wisconsin after she finished school. She dropped him off in WI, but never came back or called. It was months later that he finally got ahold of her and she stated she lost the child. almost a year later he got an anonymous phone call letting him know that he did have a daughter and that she lied about the miscarriage. He doesnt know to this day who told him. When I found out about this months later, I helped him hire a lawyer after our emails and phone calls to her husband and sister failed to do anything.

Fast forward to visitation...after she tried to not allow me to not go to visitation with my bf and he went to court for this...the judge refused to come into the room and said this should be resolved amongst themselves. The judge also made it clear that I could go to all the visitations if I wanted to.

Stage 1 was 3 months of the first 3 weekends for 2 hour supervision in her home one day and 2 hours outside her home in a public place of her choosing.

Stage 2 was unsupervised visits for 3 hours.

Following stage 2 was pretrial. During these 2 stages, there were no specified time periods so the mother made it difficult and never considered the fact we had to drive 3 hours one way. She wanted visits to be at 9am! we often got a hotel 3 weekends a month just to make things work. She even once flatout refused him a visit because of her husband's brother coming home from Iraq and she thought her 2 yr old daughter (my bf's daughter) that it was more important for her to welcome him home than to see her dad for a visit.

She lied to us repeatedly about plans to make the time to meet difficult and even lied about her sister going out of  the state and acted like we were the reason she couldnt take her sister to the airport anymore...we found out her sister was already out of state by that time so she was lying to us..

fast forward to pretrial

because he wanted to get things over with and save money on a trial, he settled for :every other year holidays (he gets her every holiday every other year) he let her have her for thanksgiving and xmas day every year..he gets her every other weekend with 1 week this summer and next summer and thereafter only 2 weeks.

After the 3 phases of sat 10-7 and sun 10-1 in iowa...then overnight in iowa from 10-1...then finally wisconsin sat 10-sun-6 to the last stage of wisconsin fri 8-sun 6...
She has refused the idea of webcams to help them interact...she has lied on several more occassions...sent her in dirty and mildewy clothes to us....his daughter has now been saying "my mom doesn't like you"  every weekend and she calls him by his first name whenever she sees her mom when we go to drop her off.

She does not allow him extra time with her when he asks and most of the time doesn't respond to emails and everytime they have a disagreement, his daughter has an attitude the next time we see her.

Is there any way he can get the order changed in the future to allow him more summer time and other time with his daughter? We are 3 hours away and just 4 days a month isn't enough, especially if her mom is talking shit the 2 weeks in between. He thought the agreement would work, but her lack of cooperation and willingness to support her daughters relationship isn't working.

Did I mention that in her affidavit she flat out said "My daughter and I had a wonderful life until he came into the picture. It's messed everything up....I thought it was in her best interest to not allow a man like that in her life"..so she basically admits that she lied about losing her.

Can he get more time with her and change the court order without rehiring his first lawyer?where can we get these forms to do it ourselves? or should we hire a mediator or guardian ad litem and just rehire the lawyer????
there are a lot more things I could bring up, but it's your basic mother lies all the time and cant keep her lies straight and she doesnt support the relationship but knows enough to follow the court order, but still finds ways to make things difficult.

she even said recently in an email "I regret every day that she never met you!"
In showing a judge these things, would my bf automatically get granted more time?isnt it he best interest of the child and easier to go extended periods of time since there is distance between them????

the child is 3 1/2 now....and she was 2 when he came into her life...

Has he established paternity?