SPARC Forums

Hi, I am in the middle of a very contentious divorce...we have been separated for over a year and the stuggle is over the 2 children...13 and soon to be 18.    the kids are with my wife and she has very sucessfully turned them againest me...My wife and I fought alot during our marriage and did not set a good example for the kids.  My wife is also on an undisclosed SS disability for some type of mental illness..  We have a GAL for the kids.   I am working with a therapist and the kids because they say they have no desire to see me.   We have temporarily put off a full custody psychological evaluation of my wife and me to see if therapy goes anywhere.   I love my kids dearly and my dilema is do I keep forcing the full evaluation, which further prolongs things and may result in me getting custody of the minor child who does not want to be with me; or try and settle with some type of visitation that my wife of the kids will not abide by (because they don't want to see me...).     I am very stable...same job for 25 years, great references, etc.   My wife has worked on and off-never steady and very controlling....help!

How is therapy going? Is the therapist good? Is ex in room during the sessions?
If you are making progress in therapy then keep trying. Go each time, bring pictures and memories of happy times. Ask to take them to dinner or pick them up from school. Make new memories. Is there family you can go to for visits or cousins you can take along to make it easier? You can meet up somewhere have fun then drop them back off. Slowly win them back. Tell them in therapy that you love them and divorcing their mother not them. That you will try to respect their mother because she is the mother of your children and want to start fresh with them.
Good luck....PAS is very hard to compete with...

And pick up a copy of Divorce Poison -- that you can find on Ebay or Amazon.

Frankly, I would push for the evaluation.

In the meantime, read these articles as soon as possible:

http://deltabravo.net/custody/protect.php (http://deltabravo.net/custody/protect.php)

http://deltabravo.net/custody/thelist.php (http://deltabravo.net/custody/protect.php)

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.php (http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.php)

http://deltabravo.net/custody/survivalguide.php