If a parent wanting to change a current custody order is being driven by alterior motives (like wanting to collect child support) would it be possible to subpeona that parent's credit report to show how financially screwed up they are?
Has anyone ever heard of that being done?
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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
>If a parent wanting to change a current custody order is
>being driven by alterior motives (like wanting to collect
>child support) would it be possible to subpeona that parent's
>credit report to show how financially screwed up they are?
I would suggest talking with an attorney.
My gut says that a credit report has no place in a custody battle (unless there's evidence in the credit report of something that will directly harm the kid(s)).
The credit report might be relevant in a decision on support, but it could backfire. If the person has a lot of debt, they could argue that they need MORE credit support, not less (although I don't think it would show up in most state's calculations).
however, it could be argued that as one of the best interests standards, the ability to financially support the kids is an important one .... if your credit is so so very bad that you can't even support yourself, let alone kids.
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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Back in the days of the dot.com bust, I really struggled to make it. I was late on payments when I couldn't get enough work to pay for the house and keep current on my CS order for my older son.
My ex (Dman's dad) tried to use that against me, saying I was ruining his credit because I kept being late on payments...(actually nothing was shared but he used it as a defense). The judge ordered him to pay an additional $500 a month in CS to alleviate that problem...probably not like he wanted it to turn out....but he didn't want more time or custody...he basically just wanted to bitch...LOL.
Are you actually worried there will be a custody change when she hasn't had custody in years? Forget about her credit...what about her nomadic moves and how many boyfriends, jobs and what have you, has she gone through in the past few years???? She isn't stable.
But I'm willing to bet that it will be so full of lies that it's gonna be a lot of work to dispute. Not that everything she will claim is factual - just a lot of subpeoning of paperwork to prove her wrong. Yes, the paranoid part of me worries that she will get custody. So much is riding on YSS and how he feels at the time and what claims he wants to make against us. However, I do feel fairly confident that no matter what she lies about, she won't get them back. DH's lawyer said that we might not get what we want, but there is NO WAY a judge would give her custody back.
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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
I have forgotten, how old are the older boys? It won't be long until they are so wrapped up in friends and what have you, that even with a great relationship with a wonderful mom, they aren't going to be very willing to split to spend holidays with her or go off on her erratic little jaunts. Not to say they shouldn't but to say they simply won't be as willing.
I am seeing this with my own son. His dad moved about 40 minutes away and Dman dreads having to go out of town....he does love his dad, just doesn't want to be away from friends. I think that is part of the age.
they are 14 and almost 10. OSS found out in a class he is taking that you can apply to a local grocery store at the age of 14. He told me he wants to work there this summer to save money (I suggested to help him buy a car!). Well, she is supposed to get 6 weeks but I can already see what you are saying .... why would he want to give up working and saving money to sit in a crappy apartment for 6 weeks, bored and gaining weight? Oh yeah, but it's my job to encourage him to go. Whoops.
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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Exactly! And I told my ex that he really should consider staying in the same town, as when Dman got older, it would make a world of difference..even the mediator said the very same thing.
So now, I am sort of torn...he's 40 minutes away, there is no where for Dman to play, as it is a condo, with a garden walkway. The street is too busy and he simply doesn't know anyone.
How long have you had custody of your kids? My ex tried to use the same method/theory against me regarding a credit report but the judges don't care that you have a charge off or delq. they rather that happen than let the child go without.
But anyway how long have you had custody and what would her contentions be on trying to prove you unfit or not qualified?
my DH has custody - I am custodial stepmom. She wants custody because she relied on the child support and hasn't done so well since she gave us custody (she had primary for 2 yrs prior which first led me to these sites because she was so horrible) and DH recently got a HUGE pay raise and she knows it. She is in arrears 13,000 to date and pays sporadically. She is working the "abuse angle" and my YSS is very emotionally damaged and she constantly undermines our parenting - using this false claim to her advantage. i.e. My YSS gets mad at DH, me or his brothers, she calls and he lies to her. She reassures him that she thinks he is perfect, no one has a right to treat him badly and he isn't our favorite. This child is ADHD and is VERY hard to deal with, let alone all of the emotional manipulation he is subjected to by her. That's the short story! lol!
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"In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect." - Jimmy Carter
so let me get this straight. you think she is going to try to attempt to regain custody based on needing child supprt?
with regards to the credit report anything can be asked for during discovery, but it wouldn't be harmful if you had a charge off or delq. one thing they can ask for as well is all statements since your husband has had custody to see if there are any negative charges on the card such as bars, gentelman clubs, 900 #'s etc to try to show the environment isn't good for the kids. if no of those are on there you don't have nothing to fear.
DH is taking her to court for the first time with multiple issues requesting some changes to the custody order. We think she may file a countersuit for custody based on alleged abuse of one of the kids. In reality, she wants them back because of child support and to be vindicated in her role as caring mother, when her actions say she is not.
I had asked about a credit report because if needed we would like to subpeona her credit report to prove that she is in dire financial straights and cannot support herself, let alone the kids. I am pretty sure there is a lot more on hers than one or two chargeoffs .....we are talking enormous defaults in all areas of her life since divorce. It's not a make or break issue, just more ammunition to what we already have in our own defense of her assumed custody countermotion.
DH remembers what it was like to be the NCP so tries to remain fair. Child support isn't the issue that ruined her life - DH actually gave her the first year of the custody change free from owing any child support so she could get on her feet. Then it was set at her making $10 an hour - nothing extreme. She is an idiot though and has never followed the agreement, and most likely never will. We need our asses covered though and that is why DH is taking her to court.
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"In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect." - Jimmy Carter
>DH is taking her to court for the first time with multiple
>issues requesting some changes to the custody order. We think
>she may file a countersuit for custody based on alleged abuse
>of one of the kids. In reality, she wants them back because
>of child support and to be vindicated in her role as caring
>mother, when her actions say she is not.
>
>I had asked about a credit report because if needed we would
>like to subpeona her credit report to prove that she is in
>dire financial straights and cannot support herself, let alone
>the kids. I am pretty sure there is a lot more on hers than
>one or two chargeoffs .....we are talking enormous defaults in
>all areas of her life since divorce. It's not a make or break
>issue, just more ammunition to what we already have in our own
>defense of her assumed custody countermotion.
Go back to my initial response. I don't think you're going to have much success denying custody because she's broke. More likely is that the judge will make the custody decision independent of finances and then ask NCP to pay more in support. I doubt if the credit report would even be admissible in a custody hearing unless there's something in there that proves she's unfit.
But see an attorney.