SPARC Forums

I Haven't seen my infant son for 3 months.  My Ex-fience disappeared for 5 days, came back and took our son, and 2 months later told me I would have to go to court if I wanted to see him again.   After a month of trying to work out some visitation, I went to knock on her door, and she filed for a restraining order against me.  I have a hearing coming up soon, but my attorney doesn't seem to think we can do anything to stop the Restraing order from happening.  My ex lies in the order, claiming I said "I'm coming in your house no matter what" and that I drive by her house.  All of this is fiction.  She called the police while we were knocking that night, and when they came my sister and I were off of the property, as we were leaving.  In the police report it says that my sister and I were the one's who requested the report to be taken, and that my Ex admitted to getting angry when my sister said something.  However, there is no mention of me threatening to come in the house, her feeling threatened, or any complaint on her part as to anything I did.  Can't I use the police report as evidence that her claims in the restaining order were fabricated.  If these things really happened, wouldn't she have told the police? If I had threatened to come in her house, wouldn't that be in the police report?  If she felt threatened that night, shouldn't that be in the police report?   Wouldn't a judge consider this?  My lawyer doesn't seem to want to even fight the restraining order.  I did nothing wrong that night.  I have never threatened or lifted a finger against her.  She has repeatedly hit me, and I did nothing.  

You should be able to have it dropped. Just tell the judge exacctly what happend and bring your sister with you as a witness. Bring the police report too and show them that. Be calm and tell the truth. Judges can see what is going on with a custody case. IF the judge looks like they are going to give mom the RO, ask to be able to contact her by phone for visitation and that this does not include the baby involved and limit parenting time.

Get to court and file for custody and a parenting plan right away. Ask for drop-offsaway from her house at a mutal location (mcdonald's?). Be very specific. Use this site. IT is very helpful with the whole process and gives you parenting plans for infants.

Good luck!

"My lawyer doesn't seem to want to even fight the restraining order. I did nothing wrong that night. I have never threatened or lifted a finger against her. She has repeatedly hit me, and I did nothing."

Restraining Orders are a wicked way to keep you from your child. If this lawyer is not willing to fight and get it dropped or dismissed, it will haunt you for a very long time. Get another attorney.

RO's are handed out like candy. In family courts their used for the BMs advantage.

Do some research on RO's. They are supposed to include that the person requesting one is "in fear of imminent danger or harm."Get exchanges at a Police Department if you have to. Never go alone to exchanges, bring a camera or camcorder. Protect yourself at all costs.

Use the Police report and anything of 3rd party documentation that will help show you are not being aggressive. Phone records, if you have not called her and so on. Anyone see her hit you? Bring them as a witness.

Once you get into court, always stay calm, never show aggressive behavior. Wear a suit if you have one. Paper work should be well organized. Handle it like a business.

Has this ex got a history or drinking or drugs?