Hi everyone, I'm posting this here because I'm hoping to get some quick advice.
I received a visit from a CPS worker this past tuesday. I listened to the usual allegations, filthy house, filthy children (son will turn 17 next month-really appreciated being called filthy), bug bites (fleas-but not a big problem), something else I can't remember.....but then she mentioned HOMESCHOOLING!
Satan and his minion strike again. The last time the baby was there, she told them that her and her brother were going to be homeschooled. Well they told her that she could NOT be homeschooled. More about that some other time.
My kids were out of town staying with their sister. I politely refused to let her in the house, stating that I had a right to refuse admittance. We spoke on the porch and I answered her questions. I can't believe how nosy she was about things like probate, etc. I cut that short, politely explaining that it had nothing to do with the reason she was here.
I called my daughter and let her know what was going on, and that her brother and sister had to talk to her over the phone. He was out, but the girl did talk to the social worker on the phone. Her sister was spitting nails and had her father paged at work. I don't know why she wastes the energy dialing the man's number. My son had no intention of talking to the worker, but since he came home and the worker called this morning, he had no choice. Now I have to retrieve the youngest from her vacation, and bring her back down so the worker can see them.
Okay here is the problem. I feel that she has no right to inspect my home. I am in the process of packing and sorting over 50 yrs of belongings. I have tons of paperwork, phone calls, and other time wasting crap to deal with. Yes I know many of you all do too, but I don't feel comfortable with this woman's insistence of getting into the house. There isn't anything to hide except years old water damage, but we're moving for chrissakes. Everything is all over the place being sorted. I can't get this stuff straightened out just like that. I just cleaned all the important stuff over the weekend for a triple birthday party.
There is another thing. She is pressuring me to sign an affidavit giving a statement refuting the allegations. At the original interview, I told her that I would prefer to consult legal advice before putting anything in writing. I do not like this one bit. The form # is DCFS 853 (Rev 5/90) She said to me on the phone that this was for my benefit. Riiiight.
Now I realize how important it is to remain cooperative, because I have no choice. How do I enforce my right to privacy and redress against false and frivolous complaints? The worker told me that they get a lot of these complaints, so they know what to expect when they go out. This will last for the next 8 years. I guess I should bring in all their medical cards/records/school records into the San Bernardino Co CPS office when we move, so I can introduce myself and cut to the damn chase.
Can't afford a lawyer. Don't have time to look for one. She'll be out next week to poke around. The Prince of Darkness smells blood. Like I said, they pump her for info when they aren't ignoring her. We found out that just because my mom was mentally disabled when she rewrote the will in favor of her youngest sister it still stands because I trusted my aunt. She played us for several years. When she came out for the funeral, she removed papers from the house, the wills that my folks made many years ago in particular. My aunt of all people. Just damn. So we'll be staying with my daughter for several months. If CPS shows up there, my daughter's bf will show up at her daddy's house.
Thanks for any advice....(I know a couple of things don't quite make sense but I have to get off the computer)
>There is another thing. She is pressuring me to sign an
>affidavit giving a statement refuting the allegations. At
>the original interview, I told her that I would prefer to
>consult legal advice before putting anything in writing. I do
>not like this one bit. The form # is DCFS 853 (Rev 5/90) She
>said to me on the phone that this was for my benefit.
>Riiiight.
SIGN NOTHING without talking to an attorney!!!!! Never EVER believe them when they give you that bullshit about "it's for your benefit"- I've never EVER seen a case where that was true. Talk to an attorney ASAP, and DON'T SIGN ANYTHING.
Thank you, that's what I thought. She tried to get me to pencil whip that form Tuesday, but my brain kicked in.
This didn't happen last time. No one asked me to sign anything. I wonder what's up? I mentioned to this lady that the last case was closed and I was advised to seek legal action against the ex...by her agency. No comment from her.
I think I have a link on my bookmarks about CPS abuse. I've seen something somewhere about a legal letter or something that you can present to social workers.
If I find it, I'll post it for everyone. Thanks for your input, Brent.
so if you don't want her in the house, you can wait on that. she probably will get one, but it will give you some time.
When CPS came out, she hid inside & wouldn't answer the door. She didn't respond to the notices on the door, either. After a few weeks, he called to find out what was going on. They were supposed to start action against her for the time she beat his DD's face. They told him that they dropped the case because she was never home & they couldn't interview her. No interview, no case. Go figure.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!
I fell asleep on the couch, and the next thing I know is my son handing me the phone. My little one was in a car wreck late last night. She and my daughter's best friend were airlifted to medical centers. I called my daughter and she drove until she tracked down the wreck.
She's going to be fine, but she has a broken right femur (thigh bone) and she's under heavy sedation and morphine. They have her leg in traction to straighten it out. I don't know what J's condition is. There were 4 cars involved on a dark two lane hwy. Little one was going to spend the night at J's house.
The problem is that J is one week away from turning 21, and they found a small amount of alcohol in her blood system. A margarita at a restaurant. I know, because she was on a date with my daughter's bf's brother. She's been cited for a DUI.
We're driving out tomorrow as soon as my son does an oil change and tune up...and of course pick up some flowers,toys, etc. I can't drive at night, and she's sedated so she wouldn't know who's there anyway. Her sister drove down to sit with her for a while, but the puppies all seem to have gotten Parvo despite getting their shots. It's a mess at her house, and the baby is in the midst of the terrible two's, so she's needed at home.
Sooo, after the initial shock, guess what I'm thinking next???? We're in the middle of a CPS investigation, oh God what will they think!
Screw this. I'll take care of it. No one is coming into my house, no one is going to further harass me or my kids, and this case is going to be closed.
What state was that in? How can she get away with that?
was that she was female & also the kids were not there anymore. My son already had custody of the boys & he got his daughter, by ex parte order, the day she was beaten so badly. Since there were no children in the house, they weren't about to prosecute a woman, no matter what she did.
We live in Texas.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!
Sorry to hear about your daughter. Because of my "Research" ;) I've had to deal with the law on many occasions so here is what I would suggest:
1) Never talk to investigators! If its child related then you have to let the investigator see the children, but you don't have to let the investigators TALK to them (in Michigan at least.). Make them get a warrant (If its a legit complaint then your ex would have had your children talk to investigators while they were with her.).
2) Have more then 1 attorney. Make sure they are specialized. (1) Divorce/child support, (1) Criminal, etc. Personally I have 6 in 3 states and don't even have a conviction for speeding . ;)
3) If you can't afford an attorney then get the names of GOOD attorneys and tell Police/CPS,etc. to contact them and not to speak to you directly ( Investigators NEVER call them.).
4) No matter how much like an idiot the investigators play you for, NEVER disrespect them! Two reasons for that: 1) You are currently one of a dozen cases they currently have to deal with and you don't want to be their favorite! 2) Their job sucks! They have to deal with REAL losers doing REAL damage to children every single day and the last thing they need is to deal with someone with an attitude.
Keep in mind that your problem is with the Court system, and sometimes your ex, it is not with the investigators. Besides, with the huge divorce rate among investigators chances are YOUR investigator is getting screwed over by the same court system. :)
Good luck to ya!
I'm hoping that we'll be gone by then. The accident changes things, though. I'm on my way back up to the hospital, but I have to take my car in for a tune up and a diagnostic. It's doing something weird, and I can't take the chance of my car dying.
From what I've read last week on different sites, this is a civil matter not a criminal investigation. I'm going to be at the hospital most of this week and will tell my son not to answer the door or the phone, unless he knows who it is.
I'll update the original post in a couple of minutes.
>From what I've read last week on different sites, this is a
>civil matter not a criminal investigation. I'm going to be at
>the hospital most of this week and will tell my son not to
>answer the door or the phone, unless he knows who it is.
Be aware that they will often try to force their way into your home by bringing a police officer with them. They will imply that they have a right to come in, but they don't.
Read these for more information:
Guidelines On Handling Home Visits From Social Workers
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/socialworkers.htm
Dealing With CPS: Demand a Copy of the Search Warrant
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/cpswarrant.htm
I'm so glad you posted that message. I'm ready to strangle people right now.
I actually have a probate attorney, who is pretty useless. I could give them his name. Unfortunately I did talk to her, politely but firmly. The kids were out of town at their sisters, and my daughter called the worker and told her what the situation was. My son refused to talk. He came home and the little one stayed. The worker called up friday and I handed the phone to my son. He talked with her for about 20 min. I can be just as condescending as she can, and we just sat on the phone patting each other on the back. Disgusting waste of my time and taxpayers money.
The thing I don't get is why she kept asking me about my taking them to the doctor. Since I have never asked my ex for his part of every stinking co-pay, I asked him to take the youngest to the dentist. I guess that makes me neglectful? This woman wants my kids shot records? You wouldn't believe want these people want!
I will keep your advice in mind when/if I have to talk to these people again.
I'm running behind. I haven't had much sleep, and I'm slower than cold molasses.
My girl is in a lot of pain. In addition to the broken thigh bone, she has a broken finger on her right hand, and the usual bruises and abrasions. They put flexible metal rods in her leg, but the doctor doesn't see the need to put her in a cast? She has dreams where she's running or walking up steps, then her leg jerks. Fill in the reaction. Because of the level of pain she's in, the nurse thinks there's something else. I think I'll raise that point with the doctor.
Here is what happened Saturday:
We were all there and X and his wife showed up Saturday, but we stayed in the hallway, except for my son in law. My kid unleashed on them about CPS to the point that her blood pressure spiked, the alarm went off at the nurses station, and a couple of nurses ran in there. SOL was there, but left the room when that happened. That woman admitted to my kid that she called. She is the same type of person as X. She told her that she is a "mandatory reporter, and it's her job". She apparently replied that it is not your job, I have a mother, and you are a bitch. That's when my SOL left.
I'm in a hurry, so I copied and pasted the above from my email to my aunt. I edited the names out.
I'm exhausted. Her father spent the night last night with her, as is his legal constitutional right. That's okay Satan, when I get done with you both, you'll wish you all hadn't started this crap.
I have a plan(rolling my eyes)
Please say prayers for my girl, and the girl who was driving. She has a cracked pelvis, fractured elbow, and a hole that goes an inch deep in her head.
And I have a good feeling that it's probably the norm for every state:
Mandatory reporters are ONLY mandated to report abuse 'in the context of the position that requires them to be a reporter in the first place.' Since I am an EMT, I am ONLY mandated to report abuse while I am working in the capacity of an EMT.
Regardless of whether she's a mandatory reporter or not, it is NOT her 'job' to report abuse. In what capacity is she an MR: teacher, SW, nurse? Doesn't make any difference, unless she was 'officially teaching' the kids, 'officially counseling' them, or 'officially treating' them, she does NOT have an obligation to report.
Tell her to go piss up a rope...........and that I said so............
What a POS..........
Thanks for the reply, Kitty. I wasn't sure what to think. This woman is an elementary school teacher. God help her students. To me it indicates a character defect. If you actually witness abuse, you'd call the cops, wouldn't you? You wouldn't sneak around calling CPS.
Well baby is back home earlier than we all expected. As soon as she could hobble to the bathroom on a walker, they released her. We managed to get her out of the car (getting into the car was a preview). My son and I wheeled her around back through the patio, and lifted her and the wheelchair into the kitchen. We thought she'd be there for a couple of more days, so I didn't bring any clothes. Her sister was going to bring her clothes tomorrow. She went home in a hospital gown. Doesn't matter, she doesn't want to deal with putting on bottoms(can't lift her leg-no cast these days), so she's wearing an adult size t-shirt. As much pain as she's in, she managed to let us get us out of the wheelcahir and on her walker to use the bathroom. It wasn't so bad.
Her friends came by, and their dad said he could build a temporary ramp for the front steps. That made her feel better.
I'm going to draft a letter to to Ms. Wonderful's school district and the principal of the school she teaches at, for starters. I'm very angry that the thought of those two using this against me even crossed my mind.
Better get off, baby wants on the computer :-) (unfortunately they only gave her Tylenol #3's, so she's counting the hours until the next dose)
Thanks Brent. I read it on my way out the door, and left it up for my son to read. Don't know if he read it or not. Most of us who don't know end up breaking every "don't". I did it the time the first social worker barged into my house.
See my reply to Kitty for update on my girl's condition. We got her on the couch. I guess I'll be camping out on the floor in the living room with her.
It looks like I'm not going to have a lot of time in the next few days to research who to complain about her to, but I will find who I need. If her employer can be held liable, maybe they'll listen.
Is she actually a teacher to your kids? Because if not, I'd be calling the school and telling them she's abusing her power. Because that's exactly what it is. But even with teachers, I believe that their first contact would be with CPS/DHS.
I could have reported MANY people, for kids not even belted or riding in the back of trucks, for some parent smacking their child for whining in the grocery store, for so many other things. But if I had, I could very easily have my EMS certification taken away for abuse of power. I can't call them every single time I see something I 'think' might be suspicious.....AND if it were known that I had any kind of 'relationship' (good or bad) with the purported 'abuser', then I'd come under the microscope immediately.
Now, if I get called as an EMT to a home where I see a child with bruises that don't quite fit the norm for a child at play, burn marks with demarcation lines (or small, circular ones), and various other suspicious markings, I am required by law to report it directly to DHS. I would, no doubt, tell the cops too, but I must first make a verbal report to DHS and follow that up with a written one within 48 hours.
Don't know if CA's standards are the same, but I can bet it can't be too far off.
And good to hear that your daughter is home, too. They are sending them home a lot quicker than they used to, more from pressure from the ins. companies than anything else. Just make sure she doesn't do too much too son. Kids, even when they're hurt, can still believe they're invinsible, and over-extend themselves and suffer set-backs. She just needs to give her body time to heal.
FALSE REPORTING
Cal. Penal Code ยง 11172(a) (West, WESTLAW through 2002 Reg. Sess. & 3rd Ex. Sess.)
Any other person reporting a known or suspected instance of child abuse shall not incur civil or criminal liability as a result of any report authorized by this article unless it can be proven that a false report was made and the person knew that the report was false or was made with reckless disregard of the truth or falsity of the report, and any person who makes a report of child abuse known to be false or with reckless disregard of the truth or falsity of the report is liable for any damages caused.
[p]Now to find where she works. I thought I knew, but of course it was a lie. I guess this woman is made out of the same material as my ex.
[p]I'm beat, and little one hasn't had her sponge bath yet. Her friends came over with board games, and they're having fun, so I'll leave her alone. The social worker called and left a message, which I didn't return. I still think they let her go home too soon. She was in a lot of pain this morning, and still hasn't done #2 yet. A positive note is that she's so involved with her friends that she didn't ask for pain meds yet. She was due an hour ago. However, I need to give her one in case she has to get to the bathroom, or otherwise leave the wheelchair.
[p]I wouldn't want to be in a position of "mandatory reporter". I would spend all my time second guessing myself.
:-)