Before any of you jump on RainGirl's bandwagon, I want to remind you that she posted a very very very very (well, you get the point) long message regarding this Dad and "their" daughter, and how she felt she had been divinely tasked with choosing to let this man be a part of his daughter's life - or not. This was back in very early July, there were over 50 responses to her, and not a single person was in agreement with her.
Why? Because everyone could tell she was lying and only presenting facts (?) that bolstered her own delusional argument. Below is an excerpt from her original post:
"My daughter is the result of a 3 year relationship that ended about a year ago. Her dad wants to be a part of her life but I do not want him to have any contact with her. I was never married to her father and we never lived together, although we talked about both. He is financially responsible, holds a high-paying steady job, does not do drugs, drinks only socially, has nice vehicles, has no criminal record, etc. Looks great on paper."
As you can see, this man has been attempting to integrate himself into his child's life for at least the past three months, and who knows how long prior to her first posting. Another item of interest is that she has two more kids from another relationship (again never married according to her) and those two children have no relationship with their father either. Of course, she blames that on the Dad too, but who the hell would know with the way she spins her stories?
Face it, RainGirl represents everything that is wrong with the mentality of women in this country, as well as the family courts. She simply wants to keep the kids all to herself and couldn't give sh*t less if the Dads are ever involved in their lives because she thinks she knows everything and can provide everything.
Well enjoy them while they're young RainGirl, because when they grow up and their Dads tell them why they weren't allowed to be a part of their lives, it's you they'll hate and the Dads they'll gravitate to in an effort to make up for lost time. Then you're going to be face-to-face with what is obviously your biggest fear . . . you're going to be alone.
I agree all the way! I was too here in July and i too remember her post!
You are right she had better enjoy them now because this will come back and bite her in the a$$!!
I just HOPE and PRAY that the father of this child finds Sparc because there are a ton of us here that would be more than willing to listen to his side of the story and I am sure there are alot of people who would try and give him helpful advise!!
I remember her posts well. She seems to have a need to justify her actions.
I also think she is using her daycare facility to further alienate the father. They are only hearing 'her side'.
Instead of wasting her time posting here, she should be spending time seeing a good mental health professional.
Hopefully, the daddies will petition the court for visitation.
"Children Learn What they Live"
"Children Learn What they Live"
I was thinking the same thing!
Although it doesn't surprise me, it's probably just as well. If you recall from her original post full of misguided pablum, for every dissenting response she received, she would respond with ten paragraphs of narcissistic vitriol that only made herself appear even more controlling and self-centered than the original post; if that was even possible.
This lady has some very serious issues, and to be quite honest with you, I'm not entirely convinced her children are in stable hands. There's a disturbing pattern here of conceiving children to . . . oh, I don't know . . . to create this delusional comfort zone, and then do everything in her power to excommunicate the father from the child's life, all the while trying to convince herself and others that she's doing exactly the opposite.
Can anyone say bi-polar disorder? Schizophrenia?
I think she has narcissitic traits.
The web site link below describes it in layman terms.
http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html
I don't think she is necessarily bi-polar, with an affective disorder, it is the emotions that are affected, not the persons ability to reason or to be manipulative. Sure people in a manic phase will do and say crazy things but thats because the manic affect magnifies the person's paranoia, fear, and anxiety as well as grandiose feelings. Raingirl seems pretty calm and collected in terms of her writing style and does not show the erratic distrubance if you just read the sentences. But if you read to hear the meaning you see that it is all twisted to her benefit.
Just making sure you read this.
There's other things that concern me as well. She claims to be 'so' knowledgeable in regards to child-rearing, quoting all these psych books and what she is supposedly in school for. But that's just more 'justification' on her part. I've witnessed first hand what happens to a child of a woman who tries to parent 'by the book'. Along with paranoia and extremely low self-esteem, this woman in totally unbendable now. If it ain't in the book, it ain't true is her motto. And that's the PBFH.
Problem is, human beings don't follow ANY book no matter if they're minutes old or 100. In her 'quest' to be the 'perfect mother', dictating how her children will experience everything, Raingirl appears to have become seriously disillusioned. And if she's come this far, it's also possible she could go further. So just pray to God that those poor children don't become ill. Because I see her as being highly susceptible to MBP.
RG, I'm gonna paraphrase something I read here a LONG time ago. I can't even begin to remember who posted it first, but it is SO true. You may have them for their first 18 years, but their fathers will have them for the REST OF THEIR LIVES.
I almost feel sorry for our PBFH. She's got such a tight rein on my SS, and he's chomping at the bit so hard, that I'm certain he's gonna tell her to kiss his backside the moment he graduates and walk out the door. She's doing it to her youngest as well. She's going to end up a VERY lonely, frustrated woman, never realizing that the problem MIGHT be her. No, of course not. All the blame lies with everyone else........
The writing's on the wall, Raingirl. Is this what you want for your children? Or are we ALL wrong and you are the only one who is right? And if that's the case, what the hell did you come here for in the first place.....just to validate your own sense of self-importance???
"You may have them for their first 18 years, but their fathers will have them for the REST OF THEIR LIVES"
I think I am guity of that one. Only thing keeping me sane is, 15 1/2 years to go and the control is gone and our son will have the choice to be with me. He is already saying 'I stay at your home, daddy' The sweetest words I will every hear...
"Children learn what they live"
Oh my, It's been a long time since I first said this to someone in chat . . .
RG, I'm gonna paraphrase something I read here a LONG time ago. I can't even begin to remember who posted it first, but it is SO true. You may have them for their first 18 years, but their fathers will have them for the REST OF THEIR LIVES
This is so true but my "other" more famous quote is also true . . .
The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!
No truer words have ever been spoken!
I don't recall the particular post that you're referring to, but I agree with your last two paragraphs.
Actually that mentality is present in both genders, and encompasses everything from workplace behavior to driving on freeways. I think it stems from a lack of morality, and I don't mean sex necessarily. Our society has lost certain core values, and it's showing.
I have a friend. He's hanging in there until his kids turn 18. The oldest is already 16, and plans to move out and live with her dad on her 18th birthday. I'm sure the second one will follow her sister. The boy is pretty young, and the mother still has time to work on him.
Raingirl will find out the hard way that her children are separate beings, and have a right to see their fathers. They are not an extension of herself. There is time for her to fix this, if she chooses to.