Dear Soc,
Background:
Franklin County, Ohio. Minor child is age 12. Currently shared 50/50 plan. BM school district. No CS.
We BF & I, (I'm SM) are in the middle of a custody dispute with BM. Brought on by the BM in an effort to terminate the 50/50 CO and obtain sole-custody. BM says SD doesn't want to visit with us anymore. BF suggested family counseling or just for SD, but BM naturally rejected the idea. BF knows mother is brainwashing/PAS. With court approval BF was able to get counseling for SD. During court BM's attorney (in hallway) asked for BF signature on passport. BF reluctantly signed as he didn't want to seem uncooperative.
Little history on BM.:
BM has strong history of state-wide move aways/even France (her desire is to return to France and live), unemployment and perpetually a student. She is age 40 and on her 4th degree, this one is a Masters in French. Current order states if BM moves once more BF gets automatic custody without hearing before a court. She is almost done with her degree in French, no ties to Ohio except by way of her child and courts. We strongly suspect she plans on moving to France and wants "sole-custody" so she can have ability to move her daughter with her. Currently, she has her own apartment in rich area of town, financially supported by her mother or other family, still unemployed. Not sure how she always has lots of money with no job.
OK, Now in counseling, counselor said to BF daughter is PAS'd, and afraid of her BM. She also advised BF to rescind his signature on passport as she felt BM is a flight risk.
Recently SD mentioned that her and BM were going to France with SD's school French Club, and they were going to stay longer after the trip was over (likely using this extended time as a job search). Nothing was ever mentioned to BF about this trip whatsoever by BM.
I e-mailed the French teacher and asked about the trip. She said the trip is in the summer and her and her mom were already signed up for it. (without consent of BF?)
The dates of the trip were clearly during BF half of the summer break, and BM did not discuss this trip abroad with BF. They have a joint parenting plan and joint decision making. BM continues to make unilateral decisions and "informs" BF. If he objects he is perceived as uncooperative.
He is not in favor of her going out of the country to France for various reasons, nor do we have money to (likely) have to pay for half of the trip. (Not sure how she has it either)
He just doesn't know the best way to handle this? As of right now the BM has not mentioned the trip to BF, and does not even know that BF is aware of the trip taking place. She is likely planning on dumping it on him later.
Ok, finally my Questions:
1.) Is he obligated to consent to this trip?
2.) If not, how can he prevent it? Should he write the school a letter stating that he does consent to the trip, and he has joint legal decision making. Then the school will inform mum that they can't allow trip without his consent? Rescind his signature on passport?
3.) Since this is school-related is he stuck having to allow this trip, and pay for half, based on the activities portion of the plan? (see below).
4.) Write letter to BM stating her lack of consultation with BF is a continuous problem, etc. Trip is not convenient or affordable at this time, thanks.
Relevant to this is 2 parts of the plan:
PARENTAL RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS:
Each Parent shall have the following rights and obligations:
A. To participate and consult in all major decisions affecting the welfare of the minor child, including matters affecting the health, social development, morals, welfare, education and economic environment of said child. This right shall include but not limited to consultation with any treating physician, dentist, psychologist, health care provider, teacher, counselor, tutor, coach, or any other persons who significantly impact the minor child.
Each Party hereby assigns the other Parent the authority to consent to any necessary emergency medical, surgical, hospital, dental, institutional, psychological or psychiatric treatment for the minor child. Further, the Mother and the Father shall each be entitled to obtain a second opinion from a competent professional at their own cost with respect to any and all medical related issues pertaining to the minor child. If there is any disagreement after any second opinions are obtained, the Mother's choice shall control.
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:
The parties will cooperate in facilitating extracurricular activities. During the time each parent has said child, each parent will be responsible for taking the child to her extracurricular activities.
The cost of school-related or school sponsored said extracurricular activities will be equally divided between the parents, each paying 50% of the same. However, should either parent enroll the child in a non-school related extracurricular activity without the agreement of the other parent who did not agree for the child to participate in said extracurricular activity shall have no obligation to pay any of the costs of said extracurricular activity and shall be relieved of any obligation to transport the child to said extracurricular activity. The purpose of this clause is to ensure that neither parent enrolls the child in an extracurricular activity without the express agreement of the other parent.
However, either parent may indicate that while they do not agree with the enrollment into the extracurricular activity, they may agree by written notice to the parent who is enrolling the child in said extracurricular activity, that they will not agree to pay for said activity, but will transport the child to said activity and in that manner, the parent who is enrolling the child shall not be in violation, that an entire agreement must be entered into prior to enrolling the child in any extracurricular activity.
Forget your questions. If you reasonably fear that the mother will remove the child from the U.S., never to return, and you have an expert who will back up your concern, then:
Call the U.S. Passport Agency (visit the website, or whatever's necessary) and find out if, and how, you can rescind your authorization for the child's passport.
However, Federal law (and French law in this case, because the child will be leaving the U.S., perhaps permenantly), preempts state law re international travel, so if France accepts the passport at the boarding gate, then the child will be permitted to board the flight, even if U.S. Customs would deny exit, and no state court in the U.S. will be able to stop this from happening.
So, you need to not only get the passport voided, you need to IMMEDIATELY get the family court to order the mother to turn the child's passport over to a neutral custodian, or the mother's attorney, or your attorney, with instructions not to return it until your allegations of the mother's intent to permanently remove the child to France can be heard by the court, and an appropriate order made.
Your grounds for the emergency are that may suffer irreparable harm at the other parent's hands, if the mother is permitted to retain the child's passport, and your evidence is the testimony of the counselor re the child's statements about the mother's intent.
Don't mess around with this, because this is exactly the type of situation where the mother and child will suddenly disappear without notice. There's no reason to think that the mother will complete her education in the U.S., if she thinks you're on to her plan.
Thanks for your quick response. I see what we can do. Thanks again.