Need a laugh? Highly recommended:
The Death Psychic
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/
I'm going to be "trampled to death by a band of wild pygmies...in lower Manhattan". Woo Hoo! Top that!
***While serving jury duty, an accused murderer overpowers the bailiff and beats you to death with the stenotype machine.***
Last call I got for jury duty was for a murder! I told the judge and both lawyers that I couldn't be impartial because I had sat in Family Court many times and heard both sides lying their heads off. I told them I wouldn't believe what I heard. I have never been called for jury duty again.
Kicked by a Clydesdale at a horse show because I startle it by bending over to tie my shoe
Talk about show stopping
BM goes in for a chiroprator appointment and he snaps her neck.........
Buwhahahahahhahhhhhhahhhhhaaaaaaaaa!
I needed that laugh. Thanks!!
While taking a leisurely stroll down a country road, a distracted farmer runs you over with his combine, shredding your body into ribbons.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
This one isn't mine but--------sure the hell sounds like the truth for this person.
While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
He's an avid hunter and some of the people he hunts with are just plain ignorant I asked that he not hunt with 2 of them anymore....
While on a hunting trip, you are "accidently" shot in the face
by your friend with a shotgun. Your lifeless (and headless)
body falls to the ground with a resounding thud.
CREEPY!!
Same with ours..BM sees a chiroprator...weird
While running to your car, you stumble on a curb and your body is thrown violently to the street. Moments later, you are engulfed and mutilated by a street sweeper.
my ex................
BM's:
While you're leaning forward to smell a pot of cooking soup, a disgruntled relative shoves your head into the pot and holds it there. Your face is quickly cooked as you choke to death on boiling hot soup.
FDH'S
While walking to your car after visiting a friend in a rather bad part of town, you are caught in the middle of a drive-by shooting. You are hit several times in the chest. You watch as blood pours from your body as you fall to the ground. You die from massive blood loss.
Mine:
While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.
Freaky, my fiance owns and masonry/home repair business and I help him on jobs all the time
Pbfh#1: Your son, who is sick of being over-disciplined, attacks you in your sleep with a knife, stabbing you repeatedly.
Do you have any idea how po'd oss already is at his mother for leaving him to be homeless so she can live with her bf (while refusing to give custody to dh so HE can try to house oss by police/court force if necessary).
[em]Lucky
Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]