SPARC Forums

Dear Socrateser,

I've had my child in my custody for over 1.5 weeks. I was recently awarded Temp Emer Custody as mentioned in a previous post. The state and DHS ordered that the mothers parenting time be as agreed to by DHS.

DHS has since withdrawn from the situation and have advised me to administer visitation with the safety of the child in mind.

5 days after the hearing, I allowed for a supervised visit between the ex and child. I also allowed another "supervised visit the next day"

I was not there for the visit, and the mother began bashing me to the child. (Documented in journal and orally confessed)

The supervised mediator who DHS recommended was a friend of the ex's and she also began bashing (talking about past events of me and the ex) to the child.

My ex told the child the exact amount of arreage child support owed to the ex and showed the child court documentation.

As you know, the child came home with attitude and began parrotting the anger and words from the ex and family.

Is there anything that I can do to stop this foolishness from happening. Do I have to allow phone calls and or supervised visits with the same person who also advocates the foolishness?

I need guidance on the issue because this anger from the outside is beginning to stir desention in my home.

Please respond.

Send a letter to the ex outlining the detriment this is having on the child - stress, stomach aches whatever. Request she immediately cease and desist the behavior and state that you will be seeking a different supervisor for visitation and that in the interim, you will not be allowing visitation until an unbiased supervisor can be found who will keep your child's best interests in mind. Remind her that court matters are not up for discussion with a CHILD.

DO NOT bash BM. Do not get all defensive. Stay businesslike in all dealings with her.  She will try pushing your buttons. Ignore anything she says which is not specifically about the welfare of your child. Discuss nothing with her about anything which is not specifically about your child.

This is a very good idea. You folks come up with some very good ideas.

I will have the atorney draw up a letter and put it inthe mail tommorow.

My guess is that this sort of behavior is not going to stop until she deals with her bitterness.

Thanks a lot

Supervisor.  Explain the situation and request for a new supervisor.