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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: dad1985 on Oct 24, 2009, 08:08:04 PM

Title: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: dad1985 on Oct 24, 2009, 08:08:04 PM
My soon to be ex continues to play games. I had custody of my kids more than half the time, then she made a false accusation to the family court. It was proved in court that they were false but the judge had me go for an evaluation and supervised visits and my lawyer doesnt seem to be doing anything about it.On top of that, the ex and her attorney won't return any calls to my attorney or talk about any co-parenting schedule. Any suggestions?
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: MixedBag on Oct 25, 2009, 07:23:42 AM
patience....sometimes the system moves slowly.

are you getting time with the kids still?
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: dad1985 on Oct 25, 2009, 06:44:48 PM
i do get a couple days a week but my ex doesnt stick to the schedule and there has been times when i havent seen them because shes doing her own thing and runs so late that  i get no time with my kids
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: ocean on Oct 25, 2009, 06:57:21 PM
Is this schedule court ordered? If it is, file a police report each time you dont get them and file contempt charges in court. Send her the denial letter from this website.....only facts that you missed a court ordered visit of XX hours and want to know when you can make it up. When you get a few, file....

Do you have another court date scheduled? If not, have your lawyer file for supervised to be changed. Was there a plan on when the supervised would be changed? Get your lawyer to get a court date and that will force her lawyer to make a deal with you or deal with you in court. Could be your ex didnt pay him and he dropped her....
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: Davy on Oct 25, 2009, 08:41:28 PM
I don't know and maybe it's just me but I suspect both lawyers are maintaining the court's bias status quo.

Poster may find things will change drastically if he and the children are represented by someone from outside the good-ole-boy system.  Worked for my children.   
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: MrCustodyCoach on Oct 27, 2009, 09:16:24 AM
Show up at your attorney's office and stay there until you get a meeting.

It is critical, in the face of your innocence, that your parental rights are restored to what they were, lest the family court decide to change things just because they can.

I don't agree with "wait the system moves slowly."  This isn't about the system, it's about your unresponsive attorney.

Squeaky wheel... meet the grease.

Consider filing the motion yourself, with emergent status, and perhaps add to it a contempt-of-court charge for the false allegations.
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: snowrose on Oct 27, 2009, 01:35:10 PM
Quote from: dad1985 on Oct 24, 2009, 08:08:04 PM
It was proved in court that they were false but the judge had me go for an evaluation and supervised visits and my lawyer doesnt seem to be doing anything about it.

Get another lawyer.  If the allegations are proven false then you want any hint of impropriety on your part to be corrected in the eyes of the court.  That means that you need to ask for things to be changed back to normal.  "Your Honor, these allegations were proven to be false.  I therefore ask that we return to the original access schedule."

When BM's attorney wasn't responding to DH's attorney, DH's attorney actually faxed her attorney a letter stating that he'd tried time and again to get in touch and that he was requesting the attorney contact him. 

If you can't really make them move, then at least have it documented in writing so that you can bring it up in court.
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: MixedBag on Oct 27, 2009, 02:24:15 PM
You know he didn't say how long it had been since he was found innocent and stuff...

Sometimes folks expect the court system to hop on board and make things happen quickly and the definition of quickly or slowly is really in the eyes of the beholder.

I too felt like "geez, when am I gonna hear from the GAL" when the judge said she was going to appoint one in early July, and I didn't hear from the GAL until -- what was it -- early September.

Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: SuperDad52 on Nov 02, 2009, 08:15:25 AM
Am I reading this right?  If you go pick up your kids on your scheduled weekend and their not there you can file a police report? Do you need to carry around the divorce decree to prove such?  How would the police know who's weekend it is if the papers state every other weekend (who has which weekend)?  And what is this denial letter?  Where can I find it (okay, I will go searching for it, I haven't looked yet)?

Thanks!
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: ocean on Nov 02, 2009, 08:50:10 AM
Yes, each time you are denied access you call police and get a report. Most will just give you a slip of paper that says you were there to pick up child and child is not there. Once in a blue moon you will get an officer that will try and see where child is and talk to the mother. We always keep the custody papers in the car but they never asked to see them.

Once you have that police report, you file contempt charges. Most times you need a few of them for the courts to do anything but if you keep going back , they will not be happy.

The denial letter is on this site. It is a form letter that you can use to send your ex the facts that just happened and that you want make-up time. It is good to use that since there is no emotion and facts only.
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: MomofTwo on Nov 02, 2009, 09:25:49 AM
Dad1985 -
Agree with MB..how long ago was it that these charges were proven false? Also, importantly, if the judge orderered an evaluation and supervised visits, have you complied with that?   If the judge ordered that as a pre-requisite to having your parenting time reinstated, you have to comply.


SuperDad52 - the police don't know whose weekend it is which is why many times the police will not get involved. (and because it is civil).  If your agreement specifies your weekends as 1st, 3rd, 5th, etc...rather then just EOW, then the police can more easily identify which weekend is yours and may more  write a report.  Having your weekends spelled out like that in your agreement also lessens the chance of both parents claiming it was their weekend if someone is being denied their access time.   
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: SuperDad52 on Nov 06, 2009, 04:15:43 PM
Well it was my weekend and no one was home, yes I was denied. I tried the police thing and guess what.  They didn't come out, they told me to take her to court.


YEAHHHHH......WHEN DOES IT END?

I need to find the best fathers rights attorney in Florida!!
Title: Re: dad1985
Post by: gemini3 on Nov 06, 2009, 04:23:23 PM
How long has it been since the allegations were proven false, and by what means?  What does your CO state specifically regarding visitation?  The answers depend on the circumstances.
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: mwyvill on Nov 11, 2009, 10:20:34 AM
Superdad,

even if the police don;t show up you can atleast show that you tried contacting them to rectify this. Boy am I glad my order provides for 'Peace Officers' to enforce the order!
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: ocean on Nov 11, 2009, 10:23:30 AM
Go to the police station and they should give you a report next time. We were denied every times for months...the police were tired, we didnt want to waste their time either so we would try to get kids, then go to the police station and they would write a report (well...a piece of papers stating that dad tried to get kids and no one was home...). Tell them politely that you will take her to court but need the proof that you were there.
Title: Re: Ex continues to play games Need help!
Post by: SuperDad52 on Nov 13, 2009, 07:04:50 AM
I guess I can show I called bm, son (w/no answer) and police via phone records.  I still can't get a hold of my son, it's been three weeks now.  She always tells me "that's why I bought him a phone so you can call him"  but I can't ever get through.  Several times I've called her phone and she answered but won't put my son on she'll just tell me "yeah he's right here watching tv, call him on his phone that's why I bought it" then she will hang up.  I'll call my son on his phone and no answer.
I've been reading a lot of threads and I just can't figure out what's up w/all the mothers out there that just don't care and are so evil.  You always hear on tv don't be a "deadbeat dad" but many mothers out there make it almost impossible to be a part of your kids life.  I just don't get it!!  Oh, but don't miss a child support payment whatever you do.  Miss a payment, DL invalid in 3 weeks.  Denied visitation for 6 months, oh well set another court date.
CRAZY, I hope things get better for the next generations!

Good Luck to All Of Us Out There Just Trying To Be DAD