HI! hope you are doing well!
1. How detailed should my chronology of events that I present to the evaluator be? I have kept all my old calendars, so it shouldn't be difficult, but should it include every date i took the kids to the dentist or doctor and dates of particular substantial events/disagreements or points in my case? lots of detail?
2. do you have an outline that i could follow to prepare a custody package for her (the evaluator is an attorney)?
i may have a few more questions later
thanks a bunch!
>HI! hope you are doing well!
>
>1. How detailed should my chronology of events that I present
>to the evaluator be? I have kept all my old calendars, so it
>shouldn't be difficult, but should it include every date i
>took the kids to the dentist or doctor and dates of particular
>substantial events/disagreements or points in my case? lots of
>detail?
I wouldn't get too detailed, because I believe that the perception of that kind of detail evinces a showing of unhealth obsessiveness and perhaps even paranoia. You need to show that you love your child and, that you are prepared to cooperate with the other parent without hostility or resentment. The more that you obsess over how to "pass the test," the more likely you will fail it.
>
>2. do you have an outline that i could follow to prepare a
>custody package for her (the evaluator is an attorney)?
http://www.aacap.org/clinical/parameters/fulltext/Custody.doc -- this document tells you how the evaluator is trained to evaluate. Once you understand your opponent, you are better prepared to put your best face forward.
thanks, you are right. i just keep very good notes in my calendar when things occur, but mostly doctors appointments, asthma attacks and such.
another quick question... i am preparing a witness list. all of the children's teachers (4 total) and the children's pediatrician are supporting me in this situation. each of them have had very encouraging things to say when i finally drew up the courage to ask for their input and to see if they would be collateral contacts for me.
on the list i have columns witness name, contact information, relationship to Former Wife, and lastly 'important information' (ie information that the witness will have to offer)
1. in that column (important information) should i include a quote/comment from the teacher or doctor that i felt was important?
(ie... Mrs. Cox and Raina have been very close. She can account for the relationship Mrs. Hurst has with the children. She also has an opinion to share regarding the relationship Raina has with her father. In Mrs. Cox's words, 'You would never know Raina ever went to her Dad's house. She never talks about him. Her journal is full of entries about Mommy, but rarely about Daddy.')
i intended to get the journal to use with the evaluator, but it turns out that it was falling apart at school and my daughter just threw it all away.
thanks for all of your thoughts!
just checked out that website...
do attorneys follow the aacap clinical guidelines for custody evaluations?
i thought those guidelines pertained to psychologist and psychiatrists.
>1. in that column (important information) should i include a
>quote/comment from the teacher or doctor that i felt was
>important?
Ifyou're compiling a witness list for an evaluator, I would merely note the main relevant fact(s) about which you believe each person on the list has personal knowledge. Don't try to be the attorney, or you will annoy the evaluator.
>just checked out that website...
>
>do attorneys follow the aacap clinical guidelines for custody
>evaluations?
>
>i thought those guidelines pertained to psychologist and
>psychiatrists.
You didn't tell me that the evaluator was an attorney. Is the attorney appointed to evaluate custody or to represent the child's interests?
actually, i did say in my first post that the evaluator is an attorney. she is performing a custody evaluation complete with a home study. from what i understand, duval county, florida uses attorneys often for custody evaluations.
our judge insisted that an attorney perform the evaluation since our case was for modification (currently joint physical/joint legal custody). I am told that since the attorney understands the law, can better determine what constitutes 'substantial change in circumstances'.
also that since the other parent, primary residential parent, initiated the modification to change/reduce visitation... that parent does not have as much a burden of proof to change visitation as I do for my counter modification to change 'primary parent'.
any thoughts?
>actually, i did say in my first post that the evaluator is an
>attorney. she is performing a custody evaluation complete with
>a home study. from what i understand, duval county, florida
>uses attorneys often for custody evaluations.
>
>our judge insisted that an attorney perform the evaluation
>since our case was for modification (currently joint
>physical/joint legal custody). I am told that since the
>attorney understands the law, can better determine what
>constitutes 'substantial change in circumstances'.
>
>also that since the other parent, primary residential parent,
>initiated the modification to change/reduce visitation... that
>parent does not have as much a burden of proof to change
>visitation as I do for my counter modification to change
>'primary parent'.
>
>any thoughts?
What facts, if ultimately proved, do you believe show, clearly and convincingly, that the child(ren)'s lives are changed such that you should be named the primary custodian?
Based on what you've told me so far, I don't believe that an attorney should be conducting this eval, and that you should seriously consider retaining a real expert on child behavior, to rebut the attorney's report. The attorney may know what constitutes clear and convincing evidence of a change in circumstances, but she doesn't know how to evaluate the children or parents in order to obtain the facts that ultimately meet the burden of proof.
Frankly, I think that the appointment of an attorney, strongly suggests that you're about to lose, because if the judge really believed that there were any facts to support a change of custody, he/she would have appointed a psychologist/psychiatrist, rather than an attorney.
that is discouraging, but i see your point. i suppose a majority of my case revolves around medical neglect/endangerment. below is the list i have created of concerns to present to the evaluator. i have yet to eliminate some items, since this is probably too much for the evaluator to cover. maybe you could also help me focus on the most important aspects.
My concerns (Detriment to the Children):
1. Parenting skills:
a. Former Husband is not a conscientious parent.
Medical Issues – (daughter's Asthma) Daughter developed asthma in November 2002. In 2003 Former Husband stopped administering medication against medical advice and without Former Wife's knowledge. Their daughter's asthma attacks increased in frequency and severity. She accounted to her physician that her father did not administer the medication and was smoking in her presence.
The pediatrician called DCFS for an investigation of her account, despite the Former Wife's request not to involve the authorities as it would only anger the Former Husband. DCFS findings were that 'there are some indicators of medical neglect'.
Even since the warning, Former Husband refused to administer said medication and has continued to ignore physician's advice. To this day, Former Husband argues every medical decision, physician diagnosis, and constantly confuses the treatment. Daughter's asthma has gotten worse which can be attributed to many factors (second-hand smoke, allergies, psychological factors or stress, colds, weather, etc..)
Former Husband endangers the safety of the children with their six-member family in one car that only seats five.
Former Husband speaks disparagingly of Former Wife to the children and in their presence. (have recordings and email evidence) Things like 'they aren't your children, you just get to visit them', 'me and my wife are the kid's only real family', recordings of profane name calling in front of the children, etc...
b. Former Husband is increasingly removing himself from the children's daily lives in that he encourages his wife to assume his responsibilities regarding the children. (I have report cards, homework notebook, and book log that shows only stepmom's signature)
c. Former Husband allows his personal feelings to cloud his judgment and decisions regarding the children. Fulfills personal agenda over the children's needs and wishes. (changing of physicians without former wife's knowledge or consent, requests that school does not allow Former Wife to volunteer in music with his stepdaughter)
d. Former Husband has been using what I can only interpret as alienating strategies to interfere with my role in the children's lives. (demanding I not get the kids hair cut anymore, after 3 years, so that his wife will do it, changing dentist, they only have one 'real' family, they voiced that concern to me)
e. Former Husband has a lack of communication skills as a parent and in the co-parent relationship. He is unable to compromise and ignores shared parenting. He does not share pertinent information or decisions regarding the children. Robs the children of continuity, stability, and a civil blended family and has limited the children, from attending family functions as well as exracirricular activities.
f. Former Husband's focus is divided, in that his stepdaughter has absorbed a great deal of his time. Dificult teen? Drugs? We have overheard that police have been involved.
g. Method of Dicipline – punishments are not consistent with each child and too harsh. (spanking Raina for wetting the bed when clearly wetting the bed was a sign that she was experiencing some emotional difficulties, spanking Heath for lying, but not Raina for cheating-happenstance)
2. Unhealthy Living Conditions:
a. Mr. Hurst continues to smoke around the children.
b. Against physician's advice, Mr. Hurst continues to expose Raina to animals in which exasperates her asthma and eczema.
1. what should i take out altogether?
2. should i keep those items as things that i could lightly mention, but not focus on?
3. you think i should motion for a clinician to peform an evaluation? before the attorney's eval or after, once we have the findings... wait and see?
>My concerns (Detriment to the Children):
>1. Parenting skills:
>a. Former Husband is not a conscientious parent.
>Medical Issues – (daughter's Asthma) Daughter developed asthma
>in November 2002. In 2003 Former Husband stopped administering
>medication against medical advice and without Former Wife's
>knowledge. Their daughter's asthma attacks increased in
>frequency and severity. She accounted to her physician that
>her father did not administer the medication and was smoking
>in her presence.
Can you prove that Father intentionally failed to administer prescribed medicine and that the child's condition has suffered as a consequence? You would need an expert to confirm the change in condition and an admission from the Father that he intentionally failed to act according to the doctor's advice. Sounds like a pretty heavy burden to me.
>
>The pediatrician called DCFS for an investigation of her
>account, despite the Former Wife's request not to involve the
>authorities as it would only anger the Former Husband. DCFS
>findings were that 'there are some indicators of medical
>neglect'.
That's pretty ambiguous. It won't cut it in a courtroom.
>
>Even since the warning, Former Husband refused to administer
>said medication and has continued to ignore physician's
>advice. To this day, Former Husband argues every medical
>decision, physician diagnosis, and constantly confuses the
>treatment. Daughter's asthma has gotten worse which can be
>attributed to many factors (second-hand smoke, allergies,
>psychological factors or stress, colds, weather, etc..)
Can you prove it? I'm not seeing any supporting evidence.
>
>Former Husband endangers the safety of the children with their
>six-member family in one car that only seats five.
Objection: Calls for a legal conclusion.
>
>Former Husband speaks disparagingly of Former Wife to the
>children and in their presence. (have recordings and email
>evidence) Things like 'they aren't your children, you just get
>to visit them', 'me and my wife are the kid's only real
>family', recordings of profane name calling in front of the
>children, etc...
Email does not speak in the children's presense. You will need to prove that the children read the emails. Sounds pretty weak.
Recordings could be good -- depends on what the Father says and whether it's obvious that the kids can overhear. Also, could be good to show creation of a hostile family environment.
>b. Former Husband is increasingly removing himself from the
>children's daily lives in that he encourages his wife to
>assume his responsibilities regarding the children. (I have
>report cards, homework notebook, and book log that shows only
>stepmom's signature)
Interesting. However, father has right to delegate responsibilities to others, and he may believe that stepmother is the better daily caretaker. This is not necessarily favorable to your case.
>
>c. Former Husband allows his personal feelings to cloud his
>judgment and decisions regarding the children. Fulfills
>personal agenda over the children's needs and wishes.
>(changing of physicians without former wife's knowledge or
>consent, requests that school does not allow Former Wife to
>volunteer in music with his stepdaughter)
The fact that Father doesn't encourage your involvement doesn't necessarily mean that Father is acting against the child(ren)'s interest. He may reasonably believe that you hinder more than you help. I don't know. Haven't heard his side of the story.
>d. Former Husband has been using what I can only interpret as
>alienating strategies to interfere with my role in the
>children's lives. (demanding I not get the kids hair cut
>anymore, after 3 years, so that his wife will do it, changing
>dentist, they only have one 'real' family, they voiced that
>concern to me)
No supporting evidence here. Just bare allegations.
>e. Former Husband has a lack of communication skills as a
>parent and in the co-parent relationship. He is unable to
>compromise and ignores shared parenting. He does not share
>pertinent information or decisions regarding the children.
>Robs the children of continuity, stability, and a civil
>blended family and has limited the children, from attending
>family functions as well as exracirricular activities.
More of the same unsupported conclusions.
>
>f. Former Husband's focus is divided, in that his stepdaughter
>has absorbed a great deal of his time. Dificult teen? Drugs?
>We have overheard that police have been involved.
Inadmissible hearsay. Proof please.
>
>g. Method of Dicipline – punishments are not consistent with
>each child and too harsh. (spanking Raina for wetting the bed
>when clearly wetting the bed was a sign that she was
>experiencing some emotional difficulties, spanking Heath for
>lying, but not Raina for cheating-happenstance)
You need an expert in child psychology to make this eval. You can only provide proof that these things happened, not your conclusions as to why.
>
>2. Unhealthy Living Conditions:
>a. Mr. Hurst continues to smoke around the children.
This remains your single biggest weapon. Everything else is meaningless by comparison. Tie the smoking to the asthma, and allege that Father affirmatively acts against the child's best interests.
>b. Against physician's advice, Mr. Hurst continues to expose
>Raina to animals in which exasperates her asthma and eczema.
Can you prove this?
>
>1. what should i take out altogether?
I'd take everything out except the smoking issue and any medical reports that suggest that the child's exposure to tobacco smoke is likely causing her extreme physical distress.
>
>2. should i keep those items as things that i could lightly
>mention, but not focus on?
Nope. Get rid of em all and stick with what really matters.
>3. you think i should motion for a clinician to peform an
>evaluation? before the attorney's eval or after, once we have
>the findings... wait and see?
The child needs to be evaluated by an expert re smoking and asthma. That's all I would do.
since this medical issue went on so long and i was at a loss on how to get my ex to cooperate with the treatment i truly beleived our daughter needed, i asked her physicians how to deal with the situation. it was distressing to listen to her accounts of attacks at dads house or at school in his possessory period, etc... and not be able to help her.
both the allergist and her pediatrician could only suggest that the only way to really know, was to bring our daughter in for before/after doctor appointments. she would be examined on the last day of my possessory period (1 week) and then i would bring her back in a week later the day she returned from her father's house.
there she was not receiving preventative medication and exposed to a multitude of allergens including but not limited to second-hand smoke, a pet rat, large indoor dog and 6 indoor cats, of which she tested highly allergic to all.
her father has admitted to having up to 11 indoor cats in the past year, the indoor dog, smoking (denies around her, but she told the doc that). the physician said 'what we want mr. x is to use some common sense here. since your daughter has tested positive to all of these elements, the logical thing to do is to reduce if not elimate her exposure to all of those things'
since then, on the child's account, they have taken in 2 new cats, a new puppy and though her father attempts to smoke outside, she says on cold days he smokes inside and just cracks the front door open or at times smokes on the front porch near her bedroom and because her window is open the smoke comes in her bedroom when she in bed. at those times it is too hot to close the window because he doesn't us the a/c.
that is his perogative, but he has also been educated on the fact that the a/c reduces humidity to an environment that dust mites cannot thrive... and she is very allergic to dust mites. all of this she volunteers, mind you... sometimes to my mother or my husband.
In conclusion asthma is consistently exaserbated subsequent to time spent in father's home. and her physicians explain that when she does not receive the treatment as directed, preventative and emergency, that the attacks will increase in frequency and intensity, which has happened.
exposure to the allergens also has equal effects. they say that with every attack she could be causing permanent damage to her lungs in the form of scars, whereas the treatment plan recommended, if followed, could potentially reverse the effects of the asthma... healthy lungs.
i may seem obssessive, but this is not a rash (she has eczema too, and he doesn't treat that either) that would just make her uncomfortable or have a cosmetic effect.
we are talking about breathing.
questions:
1. i don't want to wait until trial for my expert witness to be used. i want the evaluator to hear what they have to say now. how do i go about that?
i know the pediatrician well enough that he offered to be a collateral contact for her to call, but i don't know the allergist or pulmonologist that well and they work for a very large pediatric clinic... difficult to get time for her to talk with them. i could try to get a letter.... what should the letter say to cover all the important areas pointing to the father's behavior?
thanks for your help. i have really reduced my complaints and been able to focus my case.
>questions:
>
>1. i don't want to wait until trial for my expert witness to
>be used. i want the evaluator to hear what they have to say
>now. how do i go about that?
You can subpoena the experts for deposition. They will demand expert witness fees. Every physician has a schedule of what they charge for a deposition/trial/report, etc. It will not be cheap (estimate $500+ per hour).
You could also authorize the evaluator to contact the physicians, but I can practically guarantee that they will refuse to discuss the matter without being paid (few people are as easy going as I am about providing their services for free).
>i know the pediatrician well enough that he offered to be a
>collateral contact for her to call, but i don't know the
>allergist or pulmonologist that well and they work for a very
>large pediatric clinic... difficult to get time for her to
>talk with them. i could try to get a letter.... what should
>the letter say to cover all the important areas pointing to
>the father's behavior?
If you can get the pediatrician to discuss the matter without charge, and the pulmonary or allergy docs to write letters discussing their findings, and you can do it at no charge, then you should be appointed U.N. Ambassador.
The doctors should simply describe the initial presentation/observation of the patient, complaints, if any, followed by the tests, diagnosis and prescribed course of treatment. They will know what to say...the trick is to get them to say it for little or no money.
hey Soc! the initial interview went GREAT! I really have a good feeling about her.
we received the court order to custody evaluation in january of this year... so as you can see, it has taken me a while to finally get with her, because i was experiencing pregnancy complications for a few months that led into pre-term labor and baby has not been well. my attorney wrote her a letter explaining the circumstances.
i thought that would hurt me, since i figured my ex had already met with her by now. it turns out he has not.
she told me that he hasn't even called her yet.
my question is:
what happens if i go to all of my appointments and she does our home study and completes our portion of the evaluation and he still has not even contacted her? do we have to wait around for him and let him drag this out?
>my question is:
>what happens if i go to all of my appointments and she does
>our home study and completes our portion of the evaluation and
>he still has not even contacted her? do we have to wait around
>for him and let him drag this out?
There is usually a time limit imposed by the orders, or a hearing set in advance. You have the deficet of having stalled first, so it will be hard to complain now if your opponent stalls. Nevertheless, I would ask your attorney to figure out how long the evaluator will require for your side of the coin, and then ask the court to set a hearing date now for shortly thereafter. That will force the other parent to get it done, or face going to court with no eval.
I have another procedure question.
now that we are planning to take depositions from expert witnesses (doctors) regarding our daughter's asthma condition, i wanted to know what normally follows? meaning, does opposing counsel receive a copy of the deposition material? does opposing counsel also depose those expert witnesses in an attempt to cross-examine?
>I have another procedure question.
>
>now that we are planning to take depositions from expert
>witnesses (doctors) regarding our daughter's asthma condition,
>i wanted to know what normally follows? meaning, does
>opposing counsel receive a copy of the deposition material?
>does opposing counsel also depose those expert witnesses in an
>attempt to cross-examine?
A deposition is an out-of-court witness examination transcribed by an certified court reporter. That means that all parties have the right to notice and opportunity to appear and protect their respective interests. This includes the right to cross examine the witnesses/documents. The transcription of the deposition may be later offerred to the court at trial as if the witness were actually present and testifying -- this includes copies of the documents as made by the court reporter. Anything not objected to at the depo, is admissible evidence, so attorneys will state their objections at the deposition, and then the witness will be required to answer the question anyway, and then at trial, the attorneys can argue the admissibility of the testimony/documents.