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I had intentionally left out some details as I figured it would be too much BS for people to wade through, but maybe a few more details are in order.

She can live with whomever she wants to, but one of the boyfriends has a history of violence against women, a history of intimidating children and carries a gun, (ex-cop).  I have had no luck getting anyone to testify to his past behavior, (most are afraid) and any police reports are nowhere to be found.

My oldest is 12 and has already testified thatr he wants to live with me.  My youngest is 10 and testified that he wants 50/50.  Right now I have 2 nights/week and every other weekend.

I have told my oldest to notify me immediately if (when) she hits him again.  He would never call the police on his mother.

I love the "Right of First Refusal" suggested by Giggles.  That is a great idea!

I have never posted to any forum or blog before and I apologize for my ignorance if I have broken any accepted rules of conduct!

My ex has "primary physical custody" of our two sons.  I am currently seeking full custody with visitation for her.  The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is very heavily weighted towards the mother.  My ex has, in the recent past, (short list):

Moved two different men in and out of her home after knowing them for less than six months.  One has a history of abuse.

Spends child support on these men, (she admitted to me) while the kids go without.

Slapped my oldest son in the face "more than six times", (his words).  This occured as several different incidents, not all at once.

Denies nearly all access to kids other than what was dictated by the courts.


I filed for custody in June, the first portion of the hearing wasn't until November.  My ex's lawyer postponed finishing the hearing.  The courts have re-scheduled for February 2007!

My lawyer can't do anything about the scheduling and suggests that filing a PFA on behalf of the kids or filing a motion for relief would be viewed as a ploy.

Any advice would be helpful.