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SD moved in with us in September of 09.  DH went through a lawyer and had official custody papers drawn up and filed in our state (MA).  DH has custody of SD16 and BM has custody of SS17.  There's a court order for CS on SS17.

BM moved to TX at the end of January 2010.  We flew SD out there in April '10 and SS here.  BM didn't have the money to fly them in the summer or SD at Christmas, so SD went almost a year without seeing her mother.  Two weeks ago, SD decided that she wants to move back in with BM.

SD's leaving this Sunday.  BM already bought the ticket.  DH knows SD's not going to change her mind, so he's letting her go without a fight.  We have an 18mo in the house to think about too.

Aside from the fact that SD won't have been in TX for six months, can MA hold jurisdiction as long as DH stays in MA???  Would BM have to file any/all paperwork here in our state? 

There is currently a child support order for SS through MA.  BM would have to officially file for and get change of custody in order to add SD to this correct? 

It was an agreed order based on a few factors and DH wanted to get it done without a huge amount of fuss.  DH doesn't plan on sending any CS for SD until custody has been officially changed and a new order established.  He's spent years taking BM's word on what she makes (~10K/year for the last 10 years) and now wants her official information before agreeing to anything.

Any input on the best course of action (or inaction) would be great!

Thanks,

Ok, so DH got a letter from DHS last night which turned out to be
them letting him now that his ex is now on welfare and any/all CS
needs to be sent to them. No credit will be given for money sent to
BM which is how DH has pretty much always paid.

The only court order on record is for DH to pay 70/wk and that's
from 2001. He was in school full time and working part time back
then.

DHS says that if he thinks he owes child support or there is an
order in place, then he needs to pay them directly. Should we go by
the most recent order or by what we have been paying her?

Another complication is that DH was let go from his job yesterday
and we had already set up a payment through online bill pay to send
CS out to his ex.   DH does not want to put a stop payment on the check, but may change his mind if he can get a call in to DHS today.


Do we let DHS calculate how much he should be paying? I'm sure they'll be looking to do an increase from the last court order.

Things can be so complicated.

Nik

So........what's a good age for a girl to start wearing a training
bra?

Just wondering what everyone's opinions were because soon to be SD
(10 yo in about 6 weeks) asked me over the weekend if I thought that
she should start wearing one. Then, went on to say that the girls
in her bunk at summer camp were wearing them. Let me say that I'm a
bad "on the spot" thinker and responder. So my reply was "it
wouldn't hurt."

I'm not exactly sure where the question came from. We were just
hanging out and the boys (daddy and SS) were in the other room
playing games on the computers. She had been looking through the
wedding magazines that I had hanging about and we had gone to get
her measured for her jr. bridesmaid dress earlier that day.

So I get to thinking yesterday that I should've asked her if she had
asked her mother that same question. I'm not mom so I don't plan on
getting into anything like that if her mother doesn't know
beforehand.

lol.....so I just thought I'd throw this out there.

:0) Nik

Hello,

We just received information that BM has had multiple CPS reports made against her.  Has anyone been successful in getting copies of CPS reports or at least confirmation of the number of reports against someone?

We were told that BM's youngest son's teacher had reported her for what we don't know.  We were also told that she was on some sort of probationary period about a year ago.

Any help would be appreciated.

DH is supposed to be calling lawyers up today, but I thought some of you here might have some advice that we could use.

DH got a call last night from BM's bf.  Apparently, BM is mistreating SD and has been for the last year and a half.  My guess is that's it's taken this long for bf to finally see the light and reach out to us to see if we can get her out of the house.  I don't have any specifics on the mistreatment as all DH said was that he didn't know it had gotten that bad.

BM hasn't given SD her meds in two weeks.  She's on Strattera.  Her bf also said that SS runs the house.  He tries to discipline him and BM stops him as SS is the "golden" boy and can do no wrong in her mind.

He's planning on kicking her out of his house and keeping his kids with him, but he can't keep DH's two.  He did talk to BM's mom, who is/was threatening to call DHS on her daughter.  

DH gave BM's bf permission to give BM's mom our number and she called within 20 minutes.  She said BM is a "sucky" mother and said that she would back DH on this.

DH, of course, wants his daughter out of that house like yesterday.  He's never had a lawyer, so we're starting from scratch there and not sure if there's anything that can be done at all.

Does anyone have any advice? ideas?

Thanks,

Nik